Proposal for three new communities to spur growth, increase user retention, and incentize investment: Witch Hunters, Flag Wars, and Trolls

in satire •  2 years ago

I have been thinking long and hard about ways to improve the community and make Steemit better. After giving it a lot of thought, I have finally decided on the following three communities: Witch Hunters, Flag Wars, and Trolls.

I believe these communities are what is needed to take Steemit to the next level by increasing growth and user retention, as well as incentivizing investment in SP. Please provide your feedback in the comments below! Details on how to join the communities are listed at the bottom of the post :-)

Witch Hunters

In order to participate in the witch hunters group, you must first find someone from the community that you do not like. Then, collect a bunch of 'evidence' that makes it seem like they did something really bad. Next, create a post about it!

It is very important that they did not actually do the thing you are accusing them of though, otherwise it ruins the fun.

This is guaranteed to increase growth, because the accused will go and tell all of their friends about the wonderful experience that they had on Steemit! As we all know, word of mouth is the #1 recruitment tool =)

Flag Wars

If someone on the Steemit community has done you wrong in any way, then we encourage you to join the flag wars group!

To participate, write a long detailed post about how you have been wronged, and encourage as many people as possible to start flagging every post and comment that the person posts. The more people that you can drag into your flag war - the better!

It is generally discouraged to try and work out whatever issues you have privately, as this would defeat the purpose of the flag war.

This will for sure increase demand in SP, because as the war escalates to more and more people - users will want to increase their SP in order to do the most damage with their flags. All we need is a few people to try and buy enough SP to win a war against @berniesanders, @dantheman, and @ned - and the price of STEEM is guaranteed to shoot to the moon!

Trolls

This is probably the best group out of all three. In order to participate in the "Trolls" group, you just have to think of ways to ruin someone's day, make the platform look bad, or just in general be a dick. Our most recent addition @asshole has been doing an amazing job! We highly encourage our members to model themselves after his behavior.

The best part about this group is that anybody can join! Because all of our members have something productive to do with their time on Steemit, they will be sure to stick around for a long time. This solves one of the communities biggest issues - user retention!

How to Join

If you are interested in joining any of these groups, just let me know in the comments below or DM me in steemit.chat. You are welcome to join more than one community as well! We would love to have you be a part of all three :-)

(Just in case anyone did not catch it - this post was satire/humor.)


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I nominate @timcliff for first on the stake because uh... he's probably a berniesanders alt!!!! Like me. And everyone else.

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You're berniesanders? I better tell everyone there is confirmation! Which group does this get me in? LOL

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Hang on, Let me write the post that @pfunk is berniesanders :P I knew you were up to shenanigans sitting back while sipping on your margarita lol.

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Great job @pfunk! You qualify for the "Witch Hunters" community :)

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First we need to throw him in the river to see if he floats like a duck.


Hi @timcliff, I just stopped back to let you know your post was one of my favourite reads today and I included it in my Steemit Ramble. You can read what I wrote about your post here.

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Cool, thanks @shadowspub!! As always, I appreciate the great curation work that you do with your 'favorite reads' posts :)

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thank you for you kind words @timcliff .. you rock as a witness :)

Yes I'd like to founder the group DAWFT please.
Drunks Against Witch Hunters, Flag Wars & Trolls
not to be mistaken with the ADAWFT
Angry Drunks Against Witch Hunters, Flag Wars & Trolls

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And of course, I would have to declare a flag war against everyone that joins your group!

Does the Witch Hunter group involve plastic ducks? That is a very important question, so that we know in advance what we are aiming at!

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No. It doesn't really matter if you aim correctly. If you end up harming innocent by-standards in the process, consider it a bonus! :)

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Perfect! Then we need a duck, a scale, and we can move on without caring ^^

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Sounds like a plan :)

I definitely love the Trolls idea! Important question though: will we have our own logo? And badge? I won't do it without atleast a badge.

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Steemit has talked about adding badges, but they have not completed it yet. Your first mission is to create a post talking about how Steemit sucks because they have not developed this extremely important feature yet. Be sure to use lots of profanity!

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How dare they be this lazy! Is this not the main reason we are all here? The community must be made aware of this disgrace. I'll just grab my profanity generator and start right on that!

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Excellent!

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Where the f...k do you get one of those??????

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You might recognize it by its more popular name: The internet.

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OMG some of the comments

dying

lol

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You're so right, the difference between badge and no badge will be significant in membership signup turnout.
It's all about the badge

I need some more of that cow bell!!

I have always liked his work and the great ideas he has Mr. @timcliff, I like what he poses, but I would do it in a different way.
The witch-hunt that is directed to find the person who works best and contributes positively to the platform and reward him for his work, a well-paid person is a happy person, a happy person comments with ten people from his circle, an unhappy person He tells a hundred people about his environment.
This same concept applied to the rest of the actions.
As for people who do not work properly, do something wrong or attempt against the platform see how you lose the interest in continuing on the platform. Banderas, not visiting their post, not throwing their work, no group support their work, in the end you know.
My fear with this action is that it can generate a bad environment, if there is something good that has the platform is the good relationship that exist between people.
this is my humble opinion.

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Hi @jlufer - don't worry. I know these ideas are really bad :) It was meant to be a joke post - the ideas were so bad, that I must not have been serious about them.

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Sorry sir @timcliff for my misinterpretation, the language barrier plays a trick on me.

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No worries! I figured that was what it was. I appreciate you being so polite when you were trying to tell me that my ideas were bad though, lol :)

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God bless ya brother, we love you so much.

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We love him! The ironic thing though, even though there is a language barrier for him and others (and he fights thru it daily with a ton of posts) --- he is still right in his assessment.

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I totally agree!

This cracked me up!! Better than the Sunday morning comics ;)

Are you in steem.chat?

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Yes. Username: timcliff

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If I get a new account @buffy, can I be the vampire slayer?

Oops, too late name is taken

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You could try @buffy.tvs or something like that :)

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Sweet!
And along with being a member of ADAWFT and DAWFT (depending on whether it's past noon or not) I would like to create a group called EOH (Equal Opportunity Haters). It's pronounced E-HAW like the sound of a jackass. And everyone who posts sweet kitten memes to political debates get a kick in the jimmy.

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You for sure qualify for the "Trolls" group! ;)

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I endeavor to be the best troll ever! lol

If you reorganize those group names just slightly.... and use them by their first letters it works out to WTF.

lol

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Haha, nice :)

Just in case anyone did not catch it - this post was satire/humor

damn it

Is it possible to join all 3 factions? XD