I’m Learning How to Trust Again
As children, most of us are taught to have trust in the people closest to us because we believe that they love us and wouldn’t intentionally hurt us.
Initially, trust in our parents and our close family members becomes second nature but as we grow we build trust with others like school friends or those in positions of authority like teachers or police officers.
Sometimes, though, that trust is broken or never formed so we reach adulthood without really understanding how to be vulnerable or how to trust others.
Childhood Memories
I think a lot of us say that we have had a rough childhood and, for many, it does seem to be true. Our childhood is what shapes and molds us into our adolescent and then adult personalities.
My parents were alcoholics and pill poppers that ended up having too many mouths to feed because they had a lot of kids. I learned from a young age what selfishness looks like and it left a bad taste in my mouth.
I knew from childhood that I wanted to always try to be selfless and to help others rather than to take instead.
Learning to Trust
Now, I find myself trying to learn to trust again after not really learning how to as a kid and then having to deal with untrustworthy people as an adult.
I have friends and a boyfriend that loves me more than I ever thought possible and I love them back but trust is something that I’m working on.
Usually I have some pearl of wisdom or some life hack that I can offer to my readers but the only thing that I can really say about this whole process is that I had to learn to trust myself first before I could trust anyone else.
I had to be confident in my own decisions and trust that I could make good ones. I had to trust that I could forge my own path in life without needing approval from others. And I had to trust that I was worthy of giving and receiving love.
That last part is hard for me because I never quite felt that I was worthy of receiving love from others. It’s been a struggle for me to accept it but I’m a work in progress.
I think we are all a constant work in progress, or we should be at least.
I still find it hard to trust that they really love me as I am without feeling the need to change me all of the time.
Relationships are hard!
But, totally worth entering into.
I don’t have regrets about choosing to love others except maybe that I’m now learning how to trust as an adult. It might have been easier to learn as a child haha.
I think I’m rambling at this point because I’m tired. But, maybe someone out there can relate to my learning to trust process.
Thanks for reading!
Ivy
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How to do learning about this topic. Please help me...
I appreciate your comment and that you reached out. I would recommend learning about how to love and trust yourself first before you can expect to learn to trust other people. By learning to trust yourself you will build confidence in your own decisions and then trust that you will choose good quality people to trust that are worthy of having your trust. That's how I would start on this journey for yourself.
Ivy
Your not rambling or venting. It's the truth and a subject that people chose to ignore. When trust is broken it is hard to come back. It shakes our inner core.
It also puts up our defenses keeping people at an arm's distance.
Discussion is a good thing
I have kept people at a distance for years but I'm trying to not do that anymore. It's hard though! Learning this skill has been interesting. Talking things out and having discussions is how I have managed to get this far so we shall see what the future holds.
I appreciate your comment!
Ivy
A little distance is ok. Shutting everybody out is worse. One day at a time and it will work itself out
Excellent advice! I'm grateful for it. One day at a time is a great strategy :)
Ivy
An important post. It should I say, yet another important post from you. Your blog has fast become one of my favourites on Steemit.
Trusting in life is important.
Whatever helps you get there and brings you back there is often different for different people, but these keys you share, such as daily showers (water is a great conduit for clearing blocked/stagnant emotional ebergy) and getting outside is vital.
Thanks for a great post.
You are so sweet and I value your friendship, Nathan :)
Water is my lifeblood really. I am always drawn to water and always have been. And I love being outside and reconnecting with nature. It's a beautiful experience.
Thank you for a wonderful comment!
Ivy
NAAAW thanks so much Ivy! That’s a beautiful thing to say.
Water is huge in my life too.
For the best part of the last two decades I’ve done water ablutions. Whenever I’ve not had that practice in my life I’ve noticed that my days are a bit less rich and less magic.
Ok, mermaid-gal! Love your work!
I actually read that post on water ablutions and enjoyed it very much! Thanks for sharing that here because it is helpful. I love your work too. Thanks for stopping by :)
Ivy
Love and trust... yeah can't have one without the other I don't think.
The "life hack" for love and trust.... be a dog. Or a baby.
Or you could get a dog or have a baby. Haha. Good advice though :)
Ivy