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RE: The Psychology of Toxic Choices: Setting up Your Life so You can Complain About it
My complainers are actually in my family, and they instilled this in me. I actually had to unlearn the habit.
Sometimes, when I am tired or weak the habit tends to come back.
Since not complaining was a choice for me, I get really triggered by complaining and I get very tuned into it.
It is kind of something I have to fight off. Not sure if that would make any sense to anyone else. :) Interesting topic.
I'd say the same about my mom, brothers and sister, only instead of complainers I'd say drama queens, (it's probably worse then that but...) they have created all sorts of negativism (some criminal) and then I am expected to be the one to come to everyone's rescue and make it all right. Sometimes when I see them I'll be like what are you up to now and I'll get a does everything have to be a negative with you. There so good at it I think I've actually become a person who scrutinizes everything for preparedness for when the shit hits the fan. Maybe it helps build a protection barrier around myself, I am already telling myself I am not going to let it effect me when it all comes down....maybe that's why they think I am a pillar of strength. Everyone breaks down just some of us learn when it's not the right time to fall to pieces. If a heart were hands I should have been born with boxing gloves on.
Well, emotional self-management is definitely a valuable tool to have. And some people to seem to have a meltdown at the drop of a hat... which can be annoying. On the other hand, if you never allow yourself to experience your emotions, you do run the risk of eventually "blowing up" at the wrong time... but that's just my personal experience.
Yeah, your personal experience has not eluded me.
Exactly my whole home environment has lead me to complaining, however I reject that idea because I can do something better than complain all day and I will get results out of it no matter how small.
I had to do some unlearning, too; growing up with a mother who could find the "speck of dirt" in almost any situation... and then the world had better "snap to, and make it perfect."
In a sense, that was its own kind of drama.
Some people genuinely have temporary setbacks and can use help. I have to be pretty mindful of knowing the deeper difference between (for example) a one time situation where someone is broke due to medical bills and situation where someone is perpetually broke because they don't take care of their health and don't have insurance. Self-created? Or one-time incident?