My life and Asperger's

Good morning fellow Steemians! (or at least it was when I started writing this XD)

I hadn't seriously planned on writing a post today. Much less one about Autism and my experiences with it. But @laviniatherapist dropped her post (link below) about it this morning and it seemed perfect. So I hope you enjoy.

It was in 4th or 5th grade I was diagnosed if my memory serves me right. Aspergers, a "high function" variant of autism. And "ADHD". At the time I didn't really know what either of them was or what they meant. At first, all it meant to me is I had to take pills to "help keep me calm" and I had to see a man every week who talked to my mom and I about how I was doing. I would get sad a lot, not eat very much, and not do a lot of the stuff I used to enjoy doing. Eventually, they took me off the pills and sometime after that I stopped seeing the man. Some of my energy and enjoyment in life came back then.

Today, about a decade after I was taken off of Ritalin, I've come to understand a lot more about what all of that means and how it affected me. The first thing I found out is that when I was born the medical staff suggested my parents put me in a home and forget about me due to what they thought would be irreversible social issues, obviously my parents said no to that one. Also, Ritalin made me depressed, to the point that I essentially wasn't myself anymore. After figuring this out the therapist and my mom decided to try taking me off of it and find constructive environments that would allow me to be myself, but also have set guidelines and social structures so that I could build my social skills. I've been involved in many camps and programs that fostered such an environment; the pinnacle of these is the United States Air Force Auxillary, Civil Air Patrol (CAP for the rest of the article).

CAP is where I grew the most and was able to begin building real and meaningful friendships, I also met a number of great mentors in the program. When I first joined CAP I would keep to myself and try to avoid other people as much as possible. Today I'm in charge of one of the Air Force Associations Cyber patriot Cyber Defense Competition teams and will present on my experiences in the program quite often. This leap both helped me to better myself, and yet also see where I came from, and what I was still dealing with.

Looking back from there, I began to see the differences. People used to avoid me, especially my peers, because I would have outbursts of random thought and energy that people saw as weird. I had hard times in school and classrooms in general because while I either already knew the info from what I had read at home (I loved books that talked about how things worked) or was thinking faster than the teacher, it felt like I was trying to drink water through an IV tube. While the books and videos I watched at home were like a fire hose to everyone else. Now I've found out that the Ritilian was designed to try and slow me down so I would fit into the classroom better. To this day I haven't touched behavior modifiers of any sort as I want to be who God created me to be. Not what the world expects of me.

Before I joined CAP we started homeschooling because of the issues I was having in the classroom along with constant bullying. I tried going to a few homeschool groups because now that I was learning at my own pace I jumped grades ahead in some subjects and quickly outgrew what my mom knew. These were ok for my education, they kept me occupied. One class, 9th-grade physics, I really enjoyed because I dug so far into one topic the help-desk that was listed in the book actually sent me the authors email. Jay Wile, a nuclear physicist, Ph.D. But I still had the same social issues.

Then my mom found CAP again and asked if I would try it. I loved the idea of being able to fly, a plane being mechanical along with my fascination with flight, it was a no brainer. The military regiment of the program took some getting used to. I think I became less social (which is scary to think about) for a short period. But soon I began to flourish thanks to our squadron commander among others. I still had my moments and outbursts, but he helped me find a way to channel my energy and catch myself when I had outbursts. It took many instances of him reminding me to figure it out, and it's still a process. But it definitely got better.

As I started to channel my energy things started to get crazy. I would take on projects and barrel through them, also around this time I got involved in computers and IT seriously as I was curious. I had always dabbled in them but as I started to think about my future and a job I wanted to look into it more. I went through a computer hardware and software troubleshooting course hosted by a local computer shop and felt my calling. Saw the gifts that God had given me for my career.

As soon as I figured computers out, it clicked. And family and friends started coming to me for help. Which forced me to engage with people in a way I hadn't before. Some days would get rough and I would wan't to hide in my room and not deal with people, other days were awesome and I finally felt like I had found a place. And it still is that way more or less.

Once I was given the building blocks to understand and channel my energy, I was able to direct it, and by doing so take control of things that used to seem like they just happened. Especially my outbursts. Now, thanks to the help of my parents, mentors, teachers, and many others that I can't begin to list, I'm preparing to start a full time IT Job this fall and move to the next chapter of my life.

Before I wrap this up I do want to say one thing, one thing that I myself need to work hard to do, especially as I am still extremely nervous and awkward being in, much less initiating one on one conversations. When you see those people straying off to the side by themselves, watching intently but not engaging, maybe even that person that has a quirk or tic that aggravates or sets most people off. Kindly go over and introduce yourself. Find out what they like. Invite them to join your other friends. Introduce them with something, even the smallest thing you learned about them. I don't know about everyone, but I know sometimes all I wish is someone would say hi to me. I know I need to work on putting myself out if I want to engage, but even that smallest "Hey, nice to meet you, how are you/what do you do?" conversation starter goes so far. The post My Castle in the Clouds talks more about what I see in this light, the link is below.

If you, or someone you know, struggles with autism, work to be kind, we may not make sense, but we do have a mind, and more importantly a heart.

Thank you to everyone who took the time to read this text-wall (my writing skills aren't my strong suite), and thank you to everyone who works with people like myself. I haven't began to scratch the surface of all my experiences but I hope this can help you start a conversation. If you have any questions for me please feel free to drop it in the comments.

Thank you @laviniatherapist for your post that inspired me to write this, everyone can find it here: https://steemit.com/steemengine/@laviniatherapist/2nd-april-world-autism-awareness-day-blue-day-challenge

And to get a peek at how I look at the world deep down inside check out this short blob (I have no clue as to what to actually classify it as) that I wrote awhile back and I named My Castle in the Clouds: https://steemit.com/psychology/@prlndra/my-castle-in-the-clouds

Thank you all and God bless!