The "Feel-Good" Pleasure-Trap Focus

in #psychology7 years ago

Everyone wants to enjoy life, to engage in pleasure fulfillment of various kinds. All people are distracted by the pleasure trap. But many people focus mostly on enjoyment and put other things second, like morality.

There is a pleasure-trap of “feel-good” comfort that is desired as an inner state to be attained and sought after, as "well-being" is highly desired. This leads to believing in the need to follow your feelings at all times, to trust only your feelings that lead you to "feeling-good" or put you in a state of "well-being". There is also the pleasure-trap and obsession with emotions and avoidance of the negatives through outright denial of truth that isn’t what people want to hear. Many people live in a positivity mask as a result. The desire to achieve and maintain "well-being" overrides other higher-order considerations like facing a hard truth about the world or ourselves.

We all fall for the pleasure trap to various degrees because pleasure is an automatic positive association for us that we have an affinity towards, while we avoid pain be it physical or psychological (like worldview altering information). We avoid facing or seeking out the hard truths about reality because we don't want to upset ourselves, as it takes us away from that default affinity of feeling-good or at last not feeling-bad in some way such as being upset.


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The “Feel-Good” Pleasure-Trap Focus

Do what “feels-good”.
If it “feels-good”, then it is good!
Don’t think about it more, just feel it and do it!

To be motivated primarily by what “feels-good” to the the ego-self above rational or moral considerations. It puts us in a lower and baser consciousness focus that motivates our choices in life. If we’re “feeling-good”, then all is “good”. It’s about “feeling-good”, gratification, amusement, enjoyment, satisfaction, ease, comfort and convenience that drives behavior, not higher-order processing to understand aspects of reality to help us on our path in life.

Truth and falsity, right and wrong, are not properly discerned and what “feels” good to us personally is what we believe to be what is “good/right”. This is due to an infatuation with the illusory aspects of our sensory and emotional perceptions that have us accept things on face value and not dig deeper. We accept appearances and don’t uncover the substance. We accept many of these illusions because they “feel-good”, so they can’t be wrong! Why bother to dig deeper when we already have the answer that “feels-good” and possibly appeals to our sense of self/self-view and worldview? We often fool ourselves all too easily.

Anything that “feels-good” is desired and maintained. We become attachment to feeling good. We avoid letting go of that thing we depend on to makes us “feel-good”, whether it is alcohol, taste-buds, sex, parties, endorphin rushes, TV, drugs, plant substances or meditation. We want to “feel-good”, so we focus on “feeling-good” as the most important. We want to escape our stressful lives rather than working to understand the root causal factors in order to change it.

Remaining attached to “feel-good” desires has us avoiding the real, hard, great, inner-shadow-work to evolve, because it involves much effort, time, energy, dedication, determination and persistence. This is not easy, comfortable, convenient, pleasurable, etc. So instead, just be happy, enjoy your life, have fun, etc. No serious reflection and contemplation on our way of living, being and behavior in life. Don’t try to understand how our actions are responsible for creating harm. Delude ourselves by ignoring and denying reality that doesn’t “feel-good”.

Many people prioritize making others or themselves “happy” to “feel-good”, as if that’s the main goal in life. Many also wear positivity masks. Many interactions are faked/false as a result.

Pleasure-Trap Life Mottos (video elaborates here)

“Pursuit of happiness”. “Enjoy life”. “Live life”. “Follow your passion”. “Follow your bliss”. “Live in the Now”. “Experience the Now”. “Experiences are all valid”. “We are here to experience everything”. Ok as part of life, but a detriment as a primary focus for life that limits seeing beyond ourselves.

The latter forms are descriptive of a mind-virus to accumulate experience. The former are also rooted in our infatuation to continually replenish our repository of experience (doings things) to keep us from boredom and truly having to take the initial outsider, isolated and solitary journey of self-discovery and reality-discovery. The substantive, authentic, examined, realized and actualized life is one where the mind-psyche-self of the experiencer goes through renewal and rebuilding, not simply the renewal of experiences.

The “lost” and consciously “unawakened” are asking for more stimulus, distractions, and things to be provided to them for the continued avoidance of boredom or unsatisfactory conditions, and ultimately avoidance of the quest to know thyself, to self-realize and actualize ourselves. Engage in all the many “passions” of the external world and ignore the confused and clouded internal state, letting everything keep going on as it is, conditioned to accept the status quo.

Let Go of the Feel-Good Focus and Face Hard Uncomfortable Truths

Stop avoiding the truth that removes the illusory “happiness”, “feel-good”, comfort, convenience and ease of living. We have many crutches that produce sensations in our body or minds to fill us with “feel-good” comfort or “happiness”. This allows us to escape facing the dark side of the reality before us, or escape from our current life choices that brings us stress and discomfort. Realize the real lies with real eyes.

It’s easy and convenient to simply continue living the same way as we already have been. There is no effort required in not changing. It takes real hard work to face a truth and align with it to change our behaviors. Embodying and living those values we want to uphold is a hard and long job. It’s easier to pretend we are already there, and go on living as we currently are, not facing our potential wrongdoings. This is why change for the better is truly hard: facing ourselves.

To face the immorality of our actions is to face the harm and trauma that our actions and behaviors are responsible for creating in other psychological beings. We have the power to do better. Pleasure and happiness happens in life. Emotions vary, we experience a range of emotions depending on situations. “Feeling-good” isn’t supposed to be the #1 focus in life.

Examples of Feel-Good Focus that Limit Perception of Truth

Negative emotions are signals for how things are wrong in the world or in ourselves. The default emotional state is neutral, not always happy or sad, etc. Emotions vary, they are not static. Emotions come from experience and tell us about what is happening as it relates to us. A joke is made, we laugh, and then the joke is over and the laughing stops, and you're back to a neutral state at some point after the effect has faded. Some other stimulus can create sadness, but that passes too.

A positive emotional state doesn't reflect something actually good occurring. If we “feel-good” doing something, thinking about it being wrong doesn’t often factor in unless we care to understand if something is wrong or not. Made money? Then whatever you did was “good”!

We can laugh and try to make things light and happy in negative situations instead of dealing with it in truth (bypassing the negative situation, not resolving it). We can laugh at other people's harm. Just because something tastes good doesn't mean it is good. Sugar, candy, etc. We only think something is good because it appears good to the senses. The pleasure trap focuses on what “feels-good” to sensory stimulus or capacities of consciousness.

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I fall in this trap by not being open with my thoughts and opinions offline. If there is a conversation going on and I have a potentially controversial opinion, usually I either keep it to myself or I hesitate to the point that the moment passes. I know everyone does this to some extent but I think I do this more than most.

I have thought about this and realize that it is because I am a people pleaser and I feel uncomfortable with conflict. Hopefully I break out of it someday.

You mention that pursuing happiness is falling into this trap. I think that depends. For me, I realize that I cannot be happy unless I challenge myself to overcome my fears like saying what I honestly think.

Indeed, it ties into that as well, fear of conflict, then when people feel not-good because you say things they dont want to hear, they might not like you, then they might not want to be your friend. We all know this intuitively hehe. I mention that if you put pleasure mottos as #1 above more important things like understanding how to live right/morally, it's a detriment that hinders proper moral understanding. Putting money above morality does the same.

Thanks for your feedback and your personal experience with this. :)

You hit the nail on the head with that one. I do people please because I worry too much about making someone not feel good and therefore not want to be my friend.

I have also thought about the fact that if I don't people please and choose to say what I really think, it can help both me and the person I am talking to grow. Thanks for the post!

Truth is the way out :) You're welcome, glad to provide this self-knowledge, and thanks for the feedback.

I didn't realize just how profitable ETH is I think I'm going to go ahead and jump in at the price it's at now great investment great post thanks for heads up

This is not related to the post.

Oops sorry I think I made a mistake and clicked not the wrong post sorry

Was your fave subject philosophy? Because this reminds me of my Philo 3 class. That aside, this is something that a lot of us fall into daily. Quick fixes. Life is too hectic nowadays, too stressful that we end up grabbing the nearest quick fix we can get, if only to escape for a while. We're now more focused on self-actualization/gratification that it becomes the new "basic need". As I was reading this, I thought of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs and it doesn't seem so simple now because we jumble the order. Or perhaps it's because there's a lot to be had that no one is ever satisfied anymore and in an attempt to fill whatever dissatisfaction or void, we easily fall into the pleasure trap. Kind of like cocaine (am I even allowed to say that here?). First shot is always the one with the biggest feel-good effect. After that, any dose wouldn't reach the same high so people would have to use a higher dose and use do it more often. I think that goes for this as well, whatever our fixes are. It's always easier to just want to feel "happy" than suffer through pain (unless you're masochistic of course lol) because we're wired that way. Avoid anything painful, stick with the good feeling. Or perhaps we just evolved that way because with the advent of technology, we have more options. Caveman years, I don't think they focused on feeling good because they were too busy focusing on how to survive.

Do what makes you happy. Isn't that what we're told now? Rarely does one tell you to do what is right. And even then, barely anyone ever listens anyway and the concept of right and wrong changes from one culture to the other. Ah! I'm gonna stop. I feel like I'm back in school and I'm probably going to end making a super long comment. Great post. Keep them coming!

It's part of survival, the avoidance of pain. We primarily feel in order to survive. And we are driven to seek pleasure because it feels good. Something that tastes good is generally safe to eat in that it won't directly kill us.

Yeah the mad focus on being happy to feel good is everywhere. Just do what you like, not what's right hehe.

Thanks for the feedback :)

We can laugh and try to make things light and happy in negative situations instead of dealing with it in truth (bypassing the negative situation, not resolving it).

truthfully speaking what you think is pleasant and wonderful might not be. instead of laughing in tears it is better to solve the problems... thanks for sharing, you are an inspiration of writing

You're welcome, thanks for the appreciation.

my pleasure. thank you very much for acknowledging my comment.

To go out side our comfort zones should be on our daily 'to do list'. I think it's a pretty complex state of awareness that is none the less possible to achieve.

One of the things I try to do is observe my emotions. This is made possible through daily practice of Vipassana meditation. It's a practice I highly recommend as it boost awareness and also calms the mind.

I am curious about what you mean observing emotions while you meditation.

I have meditated for about 7 months now (mostly mindfulness meditation and some guided Vipassana meditations) but I don't know if I correctly know how to observe my emotions. What I think I am doing when I am observing my emotions is paying attention to the physiological changes in my body that come from an emotion while "letting go" of any thoughts that are popping into my head. For instance, when I am feeling frustration, I focus on the feeling of frustration which often gathers around my eyes.

Any advice on how to correctly observe your emotions in the Vipassana practice?

Intresting concept. I never heard of it before

Feelings lie!

Maybe not all the time, but sometimes. And when they do not lie, they are constantly changing.

Let truth guide you, not your feelings!

I like your essay, your opinion is very unique.

Isn't it crazy how the mind works....

it's easier to live in a dream than to face reality

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