You are viewing a single comment's thread from:
RE: The "Feel-Good" Pleasure-Trap Focus
I fall in this trap by not being open with my thoughts and opinions offline. If there is a conversation going on and I have a potentially controversial opinion, usually I either keep it to myself or I hesitate to the point that the moment passes. I know everyone does this to some extent but I think I do this more than most.
I have thought about this and realize that it is because I am a people pleaser and I feel uncomfortable with conflict. Hopefully I break out of it someday.
You mention that pursuing happiness is falling into this trap. I think that depends. For me, I realize that I cannot be happy unless I challenge myself to overcome my fears like saying what I honestly think.
Indeed, it ties into that as well, fear of conflict, then when people feel not-good because you say things they dont want to hear, they might not like you, then they might not want to be your friend. We all know this intuitively hehe. I mention that if you put pleasure mottos as #1 above more important things like understanding how to live right/morally, it's a detriment that hinders proper moral understanding. Putting money above morality does the same.
Thanks for your feedback and your personal experience with this. :)
You hit the nail on the head with that one. I do people please because I worry too much about making someone not feel good and therefore not want to be my friend.
I have also thought about the fact that if I don't people please and choose to say what I really think, it can help both me and the person I am talking to grow. Thanks for the post!
Truth is the way out :) You're welcome, glad to provide this self-knowledge, and thanks for the feedback.