The Depressive Effects of Perfectionism Reduced Through Self-Compassion
Perfectionism has a range of applicability. Some forms are more negative than others, where people will tell themselves "nothing I do is good enough", "I'm not good enough", something along those lines, or even other self-talk and self-assessments.
I view that as negative perfectionism, but there is also positive perfectionism. This is where we are realistic about failures and wrongdoings, and seek to ameliorate or perfect ourselves by accepting the current reality and working towards making things better, or at least not getting things wrong the same way again. We adapt to the current condition of reality, rather than engage in maladaptive negative perfectionist thoughts.
Source
Striving for improvement through thinking of better or more perfect ways to be, doesn't have to be negative. Perfection may never be possible, but that doesn't mean we can't envision an ideal that is better to inspire, motivate and move us towards. This is relating to ourselves in a positive healthy way as I see it. I see positive perfectionism as trying to do things as best, right or correct as we can, and also working towards being better as we figure more things out. Learning is an important part of that process.
That doesn't mean we can't make mistakes, or that we have to think of ourselves as always doing things wrong. Not being realistic about allowing for the acceptance of our failures leads to the negative perfectionism, where we think we don't do anything right, and aren't good enough to do much. This keeps us down, and can stifle, stagnate or kill our potential to try things, or to even try to be better and get things right, correct or good.
Negative perfectionism can lead people to be overly critical and concerned about making mistakes. This creates a mindset where they do not allow making mistakes. Some people even avoid recognizing the failures, mistakes or wrongdoings they do, because they have such fear of making mistakes or seeing themselves as doing something wrong. Thinking about making a mistake can generate strong negative feelings like anger, depression, or even a burnout.
A recent study is showing how relating to ourselves in a positive and healthy way can weaken the effect of depression due to engaging in negative perfectionist thoughts.
The study asked over 500 teens and over 500 adults anonymous questions to evaluate perfectionism, depression and self-compassion. It's not sure if the depression was there before maladaptive perfectionism, of if the depression was caused by maladaptive perfectionism. But both groups consistently demonstrated a reduction in depression by relating to oneself through self-compassion or self-kindness. These results also depend on the willingness of being open, honest and the degree of self-awareness participants had in self-reporting answers.
Maladaptive negative perfectionism can have a high psychological cost on our well-being and our ability to manage our lives. Being more realistic about failures, more optimistic about our potential, and more understanding about ourselves by acknowledging our failures with self-compassion, can help us avoid the negative effects of depression, and motivate us to do better.
- Are you a perfectionist (with either a positive or negative mindset towards it)?
- Is learning from your mistakes or doing better important to you?
Have your say!
Thank you for your time and attention. Peace.
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I can relate to this idea of perfectionism that sometimes prevents me from even trying at all
Yeah it can creep in out of nowhere and keep us from trying ... :/
Time always is an important factor on whether the "perfectionist anxiety" push you forward or paralyzes you, in my experience.
post is very good ,,,, I will improve myself to be better ,, and work and strive to be better .....
Here we are realistic about failure and error, and strive to improve or perfect ourselves by accepting the current reality and working to make things better ,,,,,
everybody has made a mistake but be patient and learn to be better is a selusion to be better in the future ....
thank you for sharing a very useful post ,,,,
best wishes for you @krnel I am follow and Upvote you ,,,, so Never give Up.
Definitely! Learning is an important part of positive perfectionism. Not just the learning of facts alone, but training also of the mind to be able to think. Many thanks @krnel
Right on ;)
The ego is never satisfied. It will always want, it will never be content and it will never be perfectly happy.
By design, the ego will always want more than it already has. When the ego is “fed” a new thing, this simply resets the baseline for desire; and immediately, the ego begins reaching for something more.
That's something else that can be related to positive or negative perfectionism. Desires for more and more superficial things, isn't what trying to be better is about.
I've found compassion to be the fastest way to actually improving, because in order to practice true compassion we must look at ourselves or another exactly as we are, where we are - in the now.
It's not always easy to do, I find myself with these all the time:
If that's how you use compassion to accept the reality of things as they are, both positive and negative, great!
Learning from mistakes is great, but sometimes we never do learn, it's like our brain is shut down and doesn't want to see the correct way.
True that, we are our own worst enemy most of the time ;)
Seen the reason i was once depressed. I thought i was just been worried don't i was engage in negative perfectionism
Thanks for the antidote
You're welcome :)
Perfection can become positive or negative could depend on what we eat. We'd like to think we create our own thinking. Not so fast!? Perhaps, we are the result of our gut bacteria.Cheap DNA sequencing allow scientists to begin study our gut bacteria and begin to see they can influence us via our vegus nerve. We'd like to think our gut is our 2nd brain, perhaps is the opposite!? Ever wonder why vegan people are so happy and hopeful about life? They have healthier gut bacteria over 3000 different kinds whereas paleo people only have about 1000 kinds gut bacteria. Depression, anxiety could all be coming from what food we eat. When a person eating a lot of junk and processed food, depression will follow.
There is a feedback between our body and consciousness, since consciousness comes from the brain in the body. The health of our body affects the health of the mind/consciousness. Gut bacteria interact with our cells, and exchange things. All of it is connected indeed in some way. Having a healthy functioning body includes the bacteria in our bodies not being harmful and being beneficial, which will affects our minds, such as positive well being vs/ depression. What we eat matters. Eating living plant food vs. dead body parts, rotting carcasses, corpses and cadavers... big difference :) Thank you for the feedback.
I know a vegan person... she's a real bitch
LOL :) You haven't encountered other sexy and cruelty-free bitches.
Negative perfectionism is called Narcissm i think.
And i think we are going on evolution. Some Kind of behaviours are reasoned because of our ancestors.