Being Present for Those Who Need It
Presence is a gift, one that should be shared with those who need it
Last night, I went out to a local funk night at a bar in town with a few friends. I was in high spirits and felt inspired to connect with as many people at the bar as possible. My energy was directed towards those around me and I wanted to harness my feeling of presence as a way to help those who needed it.
It's easy to get caught up in our own internal drama. Anxieties, worries, and endless streams of thought often take us away from the moment and restrict our ability to experience everything in front of us. Presence is, unfortunately, a scarce resource in our world today, as western culture does a spectacular job of separating us from ourselves and each other through artificial means.
But I've found that the moments where I am totally present and grounded, my ability to be a stabilizing force is greatly enhanced and I find this to be one of the more rewarding experiences imaginable. It has been said that giving is a much more powerful feeling than receiving and my experience last night reaffirmed this perspective.
Small things can make a world of difference to someone that's struggling
While I was at the bar last night, I was continually drawn to step outside, a place where people often head when they're having a rough night and need some space. I knew there would be instances where personal pain would rear its ugly head in one form or another.
Sure enough, I witnessed a couple get into a fight, with the woman eventually slapping her partner with extreme force in the face. I immediately stepped in to de-escalate the situation, as I didn't want to be another passive bystander that watches idly while something terrible happens. Thankfully the couple immediately ceased their aggressive fighting, as I could tell the woman knew she had crossed the line.
In these types of situations, I find it's mostly unhelpful to be judgemental towards the aggressor, as this usually results in that person defending themselves and hardening their stance. A person is clearly suffering if they are willing to use violence against their partner, and I decided to act with compassion instead.
I'm not sure if I made a lasting impact on the individual, as she was fairly intoxicated and immediately left in an uber with her partner. Her friends eventually arrived and basically shoed me away, telling me they had things under control and that I didn't need to help, which signified to me that they knew this person has issues that perhaps aren't being adequately addressed.
Give presence a chance
It's easy to become absorbed in our own drama, as the many pressures and stresses of life can be overwhelming. When I'm absorbed within myself, I'm not as attentive to those around me, and if I am aware of a person struggling I'm often unavailable to be a supportive force.
The moments where we let go of our internal monologue, hop into our senses, and open up the world around us is one of the most liberating and powerful experiences we can have. And when we do reach this level of presence, the best use of it is to help those still caught within themselves.
Though I'm an ex-mental health worker, I still find helping others to be one of the most rewarding things in life. And I've found that the best way to be of use to those around me is to do my best to remain in the moment.
Presence is a gift that grows in magnitude when we share it with others, and is the best first step towards healing ourselves and the world we live in.
All uncredited pictures from pixabay.com or my personal account
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Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.
really resonate with your words and your desire to "step in" in those situations. i really appreciate that you did that and that you're so willing to be present. we certainly need more of that in our world <3
Thank you for your kind words! I appreciate the support :)
It is interesting to see how being absorbed by our story of «me» and all that comes with it (drama, endless thought stream, anxiety, etc) has a strong momentum and is a very strong addiction. Probably is the strongest one. From what I've been experiencing, the more we courageously sink into the moment, even in discomfort, the more we remember the peacefulness of our true being. It is awesome that you consciously offer this to folks that cross your path. I've enjoyed this post. Thanks for sharing, man.