You are viewing a single comment's thread from:

RE: 💔The Weakness💔

in #poetry6 years ago

Thanks for the effort of this fabulous comment. I'm sorry for making you feel confused at these lines,

"I get so easily scared, I hope I can stand on my own,"
means - The woman doesn't want the man to show that he's trying to say goodbye to her frequently because she's not yet ready to be alone.

"You don’t have to be so good, you don’t have to do it more than before,"
means - She wants to tell the man that he doesn't have to be so sweet as before and he doesn't have to do efforts like taking her for date, something like that, just to be with him for a little more time, hiding the pain that she feels.

Thank you for the compliment. I really appreciate it. :)

Sort:  

You're welcome! Please do not apologize! We are all struggling to improve our craft, and the steps to improvement come with all the most affectionate feedback to encourage positive growth.

I suggest in your poem that you use those images you just defined! The clearer your words and delivery the more profound the feeling in your readers. I prefer your comment explanations to the lines in the poem itself! They evoked scenes in my mind like a movie that the poem did not. Right now I have like twenty different versions of the same scene playing out when I read your more detailed explanations.

"he puts his hand on her shoulder, whispering goodbye, but she turns away from him: all she can think of are the hours days she cooks for one when he is gone."

The images and story you told in your comment were so much more profound (to me) than the difficult to understand line in the poem. Can you work that specificness into your poem?

Thank you for the advice that you'd given to me @jocelynlily.

Coin Marketplace

STEEM 0.20
TRX 0.12
JST 0.028
BTC 64252.58
ETH 3495.24
USDT 1.00
SBD 2.50