When it rains it pours...

doctor said my life was over
no use for four leaf clover
a cancer incurable and swift
would turn out to be a rift
only six months left to go
i tell this doctor loudly "NO!"
i said determined "I will live"
'cause i have so much more to give
then my girl leaves, me in tears
after loving me for ten years
it was cancer she couldn't take
and love she couldn't fake
another loved one died of it too
still no reason to leave me blue
economy and banks were failing
and my company too was ailing
mortgage wasn't being paid
so the banks just did a raid
with radiotherapy a tiresome verb
i find my stuff out on the kerb
they kicked me out onto the street
leaving me with just my feet
i load my car with clothes and cats
leaving the rest out for the rats
emergency sell my car
money doesn't take me far
no family, love and parents dead
no back home and no way ahead
most "friends" turned out fake
thought about drowning in a lake
but then i met my fellow homeless
their experience saved me, god bless
they showed where to sleep in the park
on dry leaves it was still cold and dark
told me where to get some food
together then we drank and chewed
day and night, rain and sun we braved
they are truly society's best behaved
authorities so cold and inhumane
no love do their hearts contain
they keep giving me the run around
telling me they are not bound
life countdown going on 6,5,4,3,2,1
zero, +1,+2,+3,+4 I am not yet done?
then i manage to get myself a room
could this be an end to all the doom?
i'm crying at the kitchen table
i feel i am not relation able
loneliness has gripped my soul
feels like sinking in a hole
enter an angel my junior by 16 years
tells me she loves me without fears
i tell her to go and have some fun
you're young and healthy so just run!
She said: that advice i will decline
for nearly four years she was mine
now we are "just" best friends
for true love really never ends
now fast forward to today
my feet still feel like clay
but my souls fire set them baking
my health slowly is improving
determined to not stop moving
a foothold life is slowly taking
stopped counting extra months i got
when i will die i do know not
getting reacquainted with life again
i do it step by step, grain by grain
The steps i'm making getting smaller
all the while i am standing taller
dreams for future slowly reawaken
despite of all that has been taken
now you better understand my previous post
i have almost made it to the roof, no boast
it is true, when it rains, it pours
all you can do is craft a boat and oars
keep faith, the weather will turn too
clouds will part, the sun again will warm you

I kept the rhyme scheme simple because it was hard enough to just write this down for the first time. I cried quite a bit while writing it, of course I know all of it in my head, but seeing it written down did something to me nonetheless. It was quite a ride I made, it has utterly changed me, made me both stronger and weaker at the same time. But now I am certain I will make it to the roof, I can almost see the last step of the stairs and will bask in the sun soon. Me starting to write again is just another step up the stairs. I have forgiven all that have failed me for they do know what they have done, but more importantly I want to thank all that have helped me survive and get here: I.d.L. & R.K. & K.O. (you know who you are: I love you all to bits) Lastly I want to thank @AngelVeselinov for helping me reacquaint myself again with the writer in me. I hope my story will help others get through their ordeals in life.

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