Atlas - 5 Minute Freewrite, Day 169
Original by @f3nix - A marble on marble. Aren't marbles so simple and beautiful?
Atlas, shake off your pain, the vault of heaven.
Lost in the oblivion of a fading fable, Zeus is no more.
Your punishment would have to wash your brother's sins.
When sins have been nothing more than a juggler's illusion.
Parades of dancing nymphs, on
the spasm of your trembling calves, while
indomitable rivers of fragrances. So
close, you could hardly fail to grasp.
Still the heaven bears no stars over your flesh,
carved by deaf, indifferent aeons.
Will your shoulders encompass other skies?
Will you ever raise your eyes?
When the lies of ephemeral duties will let you free,
you'll rejoin.
That you need to bend the heavens, if you wish to embrace their whole.
In Greek mythology, Atlas (Ancient Greek: Ἄτλας) was a Titan, son of Giaphet, condemned to hold up the sky on his shoulders for eternity after the battle between Zeus and his father Chronos.
Such a nice poem! There's something very lyrical about it. My favorite kind of poetry are the ones that tell a story and not just rely on the emotion it evokes. Bravo!
Thank you! Yes that's what I like too, to create a story or else to start from a specific happening and generate a wider reflection.
Such an excellent poem. I adore all mythologies and I always felt a pang of sorrow for Atlas.
Thanks papa! I love how this character and his punishment can be seen as an allegory of human condition.
Too bad Atlas can't get a good stretch and visit his daughters again. (Though, he had a bit of a break from Heracles when he went to fetch apples from Hera's garden. Perhaps he would have helped ease Atlas' burden for longer had Atlas not tried to trick him.) I wonder if by now, he's become dependent on the weight, like a prisoner behind bars for too long. If what holds him down has become the only thing that he remembers. Has Atlas forgotten to dream, to want to reach out?
Weekend Freewrite 4/7/18 - Single Prompt Option
Weekend Freewrite 4/7/18 - Part 1 - The First Sentence
As always, your perspective is clever and caught the message of the poetry.. I think that the skies stay up very well by themselves, just Atlas needs it more than the heavens do. (Btw.. changing topic.. on the pic dont forget to put "original photo by the author".. lol I'll stop bugging you for real now) 😜☺️
Beautiful! You never cease to maze me. : )
Thanks you winnie 😁 you're a true friend and It's always a joy to read you.. how are you doing?
Grazie! I like my new nick name. : ) How am I doing? I will be glad when the coming week is over because I am having dental surgery. How are you doing?
Oh I did a wisdom tooth recently..blessed anesthesia! I feel you a lot, try to think to something else it will pass soon 😉 I'm fine Winnie, it's monday and at least today i don't want to make late writing on steemit.. i need some good sleep damn!
I feel you a lot too! I know we both would make it through, but it is the pain afterwards. I have a dislocated jaw and TMJ Syndrome, head and facial migraines, all of which makes my recovery very slow. Trying to gradually get back here on Steemit, my first day back. Glad to hear that you are doing well and I hope you have been able to get some good sleep, my friend. : )
This is a lovely freewrite. I like where the prompt took you—thanks for sharing!
I feel I could refine it a lot more.. Thanks Tessara for passing by ☺️
As a follower of @followforupvotes this post has been randomly selected and upvoted! Enjoy your upvote and have a great day!
Congratulations @f3nix! You have completed some achievement on Steemit and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :
Click on any badge to view your own Board of Honor on SteemitBoard.
To support your work, I also upvoted your post!
For more information about SteemitBoard, click here
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word
STOPDo not miss the last announcement from @steemitboard!
Mi accorgo delle cose a rate, scusa. Bella poesia! Visto il prompt, era ovvio che avresti rispolverato le tue reminescenze classiciste, però lo hai fatto come sempre da un punto di vista originale e intelligente.
Ehh mi conosci troppo bene!! Sono questi gli spunti buoni per prendere un classico e magari attualizzarlo o lanciare un messaggio attraverso di esso.. credo.