[EN] The train of thoughts
After making train mistakes a couple of times, forgetting our tickets and taking a few mindless turns around the station, finally we are on the right train to Germany. It shows that we have lost the habit of being in constant movement after these months in Amsterdam.
Whenever I get on a train it is very easy to immerse myself in my thoughts and abstract from everything around me. That's why today I would like to talk about them.
Definition of thought
Thought is the activity and creation of the mind; it is said that everything that is brought into existence through the activity of the intellect. The term is commonly used as a generic form that defines all the products that the mind can generate including the rational activities of the intellect or the abstractions of the imagination; everything that is of a mental nature is considered thought, whether these are abstract, rational, creative, artistic, etc. Thinking is also the coordination of the creative work of multiple individuals with a unified perspective in the context of an institution. Wikipedia
Freedom of thought is one of the rights that all human beings, without exception, possess. One of the few rights that is only controlled by ourselves and, however, the one that most often torments us with its disastrous consequences.
In childhood, people tend to be characterized by spontaneity and sincerity, regardless of the impact of our actions or words. It is very common for children to talk to themselves and let their imagination fly, ignoring that adults look at them with tenderness. The same insouciance is perceived when they say with total sincerity that they do not like a gift or a plate of food.
I have a very close example in my nephew. A few years ago he was pure sincerity when it came to expressing his thoughts. When Christmas or the day of his birthday arrived, it was a real ordeal to find a suitable gift for him, since his most frequent response when something did not please him was: Is this my gift? What a shit!
This used to be really frustrating and, sometimes, a little irritating to all of us.
But now my nephew is 11 years old and his attitude has changed a lot even though he is still a child. He no longer rejects gifts, on the contrary, he accepts them and thanks us for them. A child matured enough to contain those spontaneous reactions that characterized it. But he is not yet able to control his facial expressions. Which makes it easy to guess that something is not completely to his liking.
On the one hand, the whole family thinks: Good! Manuel is no longer rude and a despot. But on the other hand, I have to admit that I feel a little sorry because he begins to be conditioned by society. In a few years, half of what he says will be to get the acceptance of the rest or not feel different from others.
Over the years, social structures gradually turn us into limited beings, who seem to lose control over their own lives. The main problem is that we want to believe that this is not the case, we deny it, and we assure that we live freely, that we choose in each step the direction we really want in our lives. However, those people who one day were smiling and who were amazed at the little things, run against the clock today to complete the innumerable tasks of their busy lives, they are ashamed of their bodies, they fear telling the truth so as not to offend the others, hide their sexuality and their ideas for fear of attacks by those who can not stand freedom and sincerity.
Is it really so necessary to mature in this way and lose our spontaneity? Why do we have to pretend that we love something when we really hate it?
Many will answer: "Out of respect for others" And it is true, we must respect our neighbor. But why should others feel bad if we do not like something? Why do we have to be afraid to give our honest opinion?
Going back to my nephew ...
Would it not be better that we all accept Manuel as he is, instead of accumulating gifts year after year, with which he never plays or uses and only accepts so that others feel good?
Las tomas las realizastes mientras ibas en el tren? la verdad que son muy buenas felicidades gracias por compartirlas
It would be brilliant if we could find more middle ground where we are able to keep the creativity of childhood and also develop social abilities. What I think might be useful is by having more opportunity to discover our talents earlier whilst being encouraged and perhaps aided with some tools to self-discovery. If we can understand ourselves better, we might also better understand others which means we are more likely not going to buy them presents they might not need or want and, we are less likely to take offence when they say they don't like it :D
What I find is that often we don't buy the presents for them anyway, we buy them something that we want them to have.
Absolutely agree! Most of the time we give or gift to others what we would like to have. Surely we do it with the best intentions, but the problem is that we never learn to listen and really get to know the other person. Also, as you well said, when it comes to children we forget that at the same time we are depriving them of knowing their true potentials and passions. For my part, I try to do a thorough investigation to try to guess my gift and that it is a surprise for him. I know he will tell me that he likes it and will thank me as we all have made him do. But if his face reflects the opposite, I always give him the option of going to exchange it for something that he likes more. Then his little eyes begin to shine and the most surprising thing is that, almost always, what he wants is cheaper and less sophisticated. It's a shame because in a few years he will surely learn to put on a good face and say: No, I should love it! As most of us adults do.
Even though it isn't always possible, I actually like taking them shopping for a gift and then make a bit of an experience and have some fun with it. It works better for me as I am terrible at keeping surprises :)
Thanks for your post! I totally agree with you.
I want to add that it is in some kind our own will to let other control because that causes security for our life. Everything has to become safe! And we fear to loose the love of ours, so we don't show our real feelings. That is the old way we all have learned. With my children i tried another way. I don't believe that we need a middle course. If everyone lives his "true" life, everything will arrange itself.
We have to regain our selfrespect and take responsibility for our own life That is a way to teach the children a better way of living...
Birthday: When i was a child i hated to unpack my presents because i fear that i don't like it and then did not know what to say... What a mess about making gifts!!!! Let us be just as we are - we think too much - hihi that is funny because of your "train of the thoughts" ;-)
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