* strategies to increase self-esteem *
Self-esteem, and more specifically its status and influence, has become a crossroads for many. There are countless books and articles that show it to us as a panacea. If you have, everything will flow, announce. If you do not count on her, everything will go wrong. The problem is that this self-love is built mainly in the first years of life and can not be passed twice through them. That is why many ask themselves: is there any way to increase self-esteem when it is not well established?
The answer to that question is yes, of course, of course. When someone has highly favorable conditions, it is easy for their self-love to take root from the first years of life. This will give you a special strength and more chances of finding well-being and happiness. But if this does not happen, it is also possible to repair roots that are not so strong.
Then another question appears on the horizon: why increase self-esteem? Although it seems obvious, sometimes it is not so obvious. Lack of self-love is the seed of many inconvenient states, the factor that increases your risk. It also usually results in a constant disagreement that does not find relief. It becomes a challenge to set realistic goals and achieve them. In short, it can make life much more complicated. To avoid this, we present you with three effective strategies.
"We all know that self-esteem comes from what you think about yourself, not from what others think of you."
-Gloria Gaynor-
1. Create a reminder, a technique to increase your self-esteem
There is a large part of our behavior that we are not aware of, or at least not always aware of. Most of the time we can not say precisely why we think how we think or feel how we feel. We just experience it that way and not otherwise, but we do not know why. All that information is in the unconscious, or at least an important part.
The truth is that when there is no self-love, the mind operates in such a way that it overlooks many positive aspects of who we are. It is then when a reminder becomes a valuable instrument to increase self-esteem.
It is simply about carrying a written inventory of the best of us. What you like about yourself, what you achieved today, the obstacles you have overcome. It specifies what your virtues, abilities and skills are. Write down your good acts. And, above all, check this list frequently. You will help your mind to function as an ally and not as an enemy.
2. Identify destructive approaches
When self-love is damaged, we tend to see the world from a very dark perspective. In one way or another, we project our discomfort on what surrounds us. In this way, we end up focusing more on the negative than on the positive of reality.
There are also unconstructive habits such as comparing ourselves with others, frightening us when we are about to reach some important achievement or letting ourselves be carried away by inertia, because we have a hard time believing in our own dreams.
It is worth keeping an attitude of observation in front of ourselves. The objective is to detect all those lines of thought that lead us to feel bad. Most likely we will see black things not because they are so, but because we have created the habit of interpreting them that way. By observing and identifying this, little by little we are liberating ourselves from these destructive customs.
3. The exercise of the five fingers
This is an exercise proposed by the psychologist José Ignacio Fernández. It can be very effective to increase self-esteem. It comprises a series of very simple actions to improve the mood when there is decay.
The actions to be carried out are the following:
- Relaxation. The first thing is to inspire and expire deeply to reach a state of greater relaxation.
- First mental image. It is advisable to first extend the hands and then join the index finger with the thumb. In that position, remember some moment of life in which we have felt loved or protected. For example, a moment of helplessness where another was interested in taking care of us
- Second mental image. Now you have to put your thumb together with your middle finger. Then evoke some situation in which we have had a success or achievement.
- Third mental image. Join the thumb with the ring finger. Then bring to mind some noble act we have done.
- Fourth and last mental image. Finally, the thumb and little finger meet. Then you must remember someone you love or have truly loved.
This exercise is useful in those moments when there are many reproaches or lack of confidence in ourselves. It is very effective both to find a balance at the moment and to increase long-term self-esteem. Remember that, regardless of the circumstances, we can always change and learn to be happier.