Everyone Around Me Wants More, But I Am Content
Love Your Life
I live in the richest country that mankind has ever known. The United States has just under 5% of the world's population but uses 30% of the world's resources. It seems to me that if more was better than pretty much everybody here should be the most satisfied and happiest people in the world.
But that isn't true. Not by a long shot.
Americans are some of the most dissatisfied people on Earth.
I don't mean to imply that I am a minimalist, because I am not. I don't mind if people have lots of things, so long as they aren't in debt for them. What I am saying is that so many people have an insatiable desire to always have more, more, more. It is sad that so many people will never be satisfied with what they have.
A recent survey by Trulia showed that 33% of new homeowners regretted buying their house. The reason? They wished they bought a bigger house.
These people have what nearly half the renters in the country want – a home to call their own – and they nearly instantly regret it because they want more. The “more is better” thinking is not allowing these people to enjoy their hard earned home.
It seems that most of us get or achieve something we immediately move to acquire the next thing. That we can't just take some time to enjoy the thing we have accomplished.
This way of thinking turns us into slaves. It is a way for others to make us do their bidding. It is the carrot dangling from the stick.
I see this at work all the time. People come in early and leave late. I am not talking minutes, but HOURS. I can't imagine that they love it so much more than being able to do whatever else they could at home. They think that by doing this they will get in the good graces of the people above them and thereby secure promotion.
I can't imagine how many days/weeks/months those extra hours add up to. That is a piece of their lifetime they will never get back.
I would rather use that time to do pursue things that I enjoy.
Princeton University completed a study back in 2010 that put a $75,000 annual income the point of peak happiness. My income is just under that number. Close enough for me.
If we all were content with the abundance we currently have we would remove the main tool that our current society uses. There is a reason government reports call the population 'Consumers'.
I do not mean that people shouldn't want more than what they have, only that their happiness shouldn't be dependent on having more. By being happy with what you have now you will be just as satisfied in the future, whether or not you get more.
Get rid of the mindset that your happiness depends on getting more of what you desire. Otherwise, you will find once you reach that goal you will only want even more.
A simple reminder happened to me this week, and a quote by one of my favorite philosophers – Epictetus – popped into my head.
“If one oversteps the bounds of moderation, the greatest pleasures cease to please.”
One of the workers I supervise has recently become divorced from his wife. I'll leave it short, but she was the one in the wrong during the marriage. Anyways, he had been eating out very often and on Monday he brought his homemade lunch to work. I asked him about it and he told me that all the food was tasting the same and no longer made him happy to have.
This is in contrast to myself, where I eat out once or twice per month. To me, it is a treat that brings me and my family pleasure.
It does not change my happiness level because I am content without it. Pleasure and happiness are not the same. But I do appreciate that I have such a fortunate life that I can afford to do this.
Another quote comes to mind now, this one from Marcus Aurelius. “Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.”
Look within yourself and love the life you have.
When those new wants and needs come into your life you will find yourself appreciating them so much more.
You will find that you have become the wealthiest person in the world.
The quest for material things is just human nature, ironically most things we struggle to acquire we never get to use it. I'm guilty though, most tech things I acquired are in the attic gathering dust :)
Nice post. Resteemed 👌
Your comment reminds me of the people that have that huge house and all the toys in the driveway. Sportscars, jetskis, boats, etc.
Yet it all costs so much that they have to constantly be working to earn enough to keep the things. Things that don't get used much or at all because of all the work.
Thanks for the Resteem!
Hi @getonthetrain I've written an article about you, Check it out if you can, thanks.
30 Best Steemians Of The Day To Follow 24th July 2017
https://steemit.com/steemit/@jzeek/30-best-steemians-of-the-day-to-follow-24th-july-2017
Cool! Thanks @jzeek :D
Thank you too.
Hey. Great article bud! I liked this part.
Well said! I think a LOT of people suffer from that mentality of always wanting more, which is one reason I've been more interested in learning about Buddhism lately, even though I'm pretty sure I'll never completely join any mainstream religion.. There's some really interesting lessons there though in regards to pleasure and attachment and things like that.
And I think that's one thing that's destroying the world, like you mentioned, we live like kings, cause we are exploiting the entire planet, that mindset needs to change!
I also really liked this quote at the end too! Good one. I'ma share that sometime.
I haven't looked into it too much, but followers of the Stoic philosophy and Buddism seem to be walking down parallel paths.
Thanks for the comment @aploymask! I hope the beautiful red rock scenery that nature has created around your town never stops amazing you. It is truly a magical spot on this planet.
There is something in that, having visited America from the UK and having lived in Africa as well - materialism in the west causes disatisfaction which either leads to depression or for people to search deeper. That being said, in Africa because most people never experience the peak of materialism, there is always hope. That hope in the west is destroyed soon or later after your fifth purchase of a new car. You inevitably ask ' Is this all there is?'
Funny how that works out, right? In Africa, children without shoes and a slight tinge of hunger are so happy to play with sticks in a puddle. In America, plump children become outraged that their parents won't buy them the latest video game.
Makes you think, doesn't it?
I'm not going to lie. It can certainly play mind games with a person. We often play the compare game and competitive people are always wanting more. I came to terms with that for athletics but for money I have always really had a hard time with it.
Plus you know the thinking in Tucson for a lot of people. Everyone wants to get on with Raytheon and they are one of the premier employers pay wise. I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little upset about never getting an offer to work there despite being more than qualified. Oh yeah..... I forgot...... I don't have a security clearance because I was never in the military and never worked in the defense industry.
Now I'm running into people who have just moved here after getting hired a month after applying to positions that had nothing to do with their degree or their experience. It is odd but really when it comes down to it I never really wanted to work for them anyways. It was more the fact that they actually had competitive salaries and I knew people who worked there.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to have a better paying job - just don't let NOT having it affect your mood. You are in control of your mind and that means your emotions. If you get upset over something it is like you are giving up control of your mind and being controlled by that event or person.
You have a good life. Be happy for it. Strive for better, but don't let it decrease your happiness until you get it.
Pleasure and happiness are not the same. My happiness probably went down because of looking for (and getting) too much pleasure.
The pursuit of pleasure often has that happen.
It is not the end goal that you should have in mind, but the road to it and live every day in the moment.
I think the goal is important but it shouldn't be the deciding factor to whether or not you are happy in life. Be happy for where you are along the path. Be thankful for what you have, always. If you are unhappy until the goal, well you have just wasted so much life. Happiness is a mindset, one that you control fully.
I have been reading every post about the relationship between happiness and money I can find in steemit because it is a subject that troubles my mind these days. I really liked your post and the way you perceive the words of the stoics. I just hear others bragging about money and it makes me to want to compete with them, make more money and shut their mouths.
For the biggest part of my life I have been happy and I have a comfortable life, I don't know why I am getting so worked up for.
You just have to do you, not compare or compete with other people. Be content and happy with where you are now and where you will be in the future and at all points in between.
What good is having so much more than others if you are unsatisfied with it and want more?
A lot of people find it dificult to bridge the gap between want and need .
I always am amazed how few people in America can accurately decipher between wants and needs. It seems so easy to me.
... most of us are in the rat race. Buying stuff we don't need with money we don't have - for what? To impress, to find happiness? Less is more, being gratefulness is more fulfilling!
Like you said, most of the people are in the rat race. I am. I am looking to break free and use the 'more' I receive to eventually do just that. I don't use the money to buy the gadgets and things that many others do. I live simple and invest so that I can one day buy my freedom from it all.
But it would be a shame to be unhappy until that goal is met. It is most of my life after all. I learned to be content and happy with where I am in life at all times.
Oh! Really nice pics @getonthetrain