Do two wrongs ever make a right? (with $1SBD Bounty)
Shopping for children's gifts can be so difficult. I find it's best not to do it at all.
I thought it was a charming little mermaid. But I digress.
The other night I was reading a book to my toddler. It was probably the 84th time I have read this particular book, so my mind was wandering as I recited most of it from reflex and memory. Eventually I made it to a sentence that was written as "papa and mama." When I got to this part, the first word out of my mouth was "mama." I instantly realized my mistake and in a split second, without missing a beat, I added "and papa." If you compare what I read aloud to what was written, I got the first word wrong as well as the third word. Two mistakes. If I had made just one mistake, I would have said "mama and mama." So in this case, I figure two wrongs really did make a right!
This is kind of a tongue in cheek example. But you don't have to think hard about more serious scenarios where you could argue that two wrongs can sometimes make a right. The term "little white lie" is basically this concept in action. Withholding painful or embarrassing information could be another. Or how about one of the most extreme examples: cheating on your spouse and lying about it. I've heard it said that confessing to an affair years after it ended is one of the most selfish things you can do. If you are now fully committed to your spouse after a rough patch long ago, and one day they ask if you ever cheated on them, why say yes? A second wrong would help prevent so much heartache and pain.
Disclaimer: that was a very hypothetical example. Wife, please don't read into this post.
Anyway, you get my drift, right? It's easy to imagine countless scenarios where you could argue that doing something that was technically "wrong" really was the "right" thing to do. Especially when it addresses a previous mistake in the cleanest and least harmful way possible. What do you think?
There is a lot to unpack here, so feel free to chime in on any aspect of the question. My upvote is basically worthless, so I've added a $1 SBD bounty to this post. I will make sure anyone who leaves a meaningful comment will get in on that. I also always like to recommend using @dustsweeper for maximum benefit!
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I have been married long enough to accept my fate that I am always wrong when it comes to making family decisions. In my house hold there is no right or double wrong that makes a right, it is simply just wrong. The way for me to get it right is basically ask her what she wants before I do it or get it for her. No matter how hard I try I still will in her eyes do something wrong. When she is in a good mood she will describe her way of treating me as a though love and trying to make me perfect.
Yikes! I feel like that could be boiled down and made into a pretty funny T-shirt though.
I sort of have the same thing when it comes to certain chores.
Just out of curiosity, how long have you been together?
It will be 12 years this October. Once married wives at the flip of a switch changes!
When dealing with doing wrong to correct a wrong.....when put this way it would seem unrealistic to even think this way but we do. And we justify it by blaming others. But it comes to the woman well i would agree with @mawit07 as men we are always wrong even when right. The rules is this you can be right or be happy..by this no headaches from the ol' ball and chain.
Seems Mr. Mawit hit a nerve! I remember hearing some advice (said in jest, but with a kernel of truth inside) that said the decision to get married or not basically boiled down to the decision to be bored or lonely for the rest of your life.
I don't know... I would hesitate to say that in the most general case, two wrongs don't make a right... In trivial examples (like your reading), it doesn't really matter one way or the other... there is no real consequences attached to either wrong. However, in real life, nothing is consequence free (mostly!), and so I would suggest that "fixing" a wrong would further impact on someone else that had no original stake in the original wrong?
I'm racing to write this in the interval of a concert, so I hope that made some sense!
It did, but it opens its own can of worms!
So are you saying that the morality of an action is dependent on the consequences? This opens the door to a whole new layer (or a new week?!) of discussion. If this week’s question was “do two wrongs ever make a right?” your answer was basically “the ends justify the means” if I’m interpreting it correctly 😛
No, I'm not sure I would say that. Every action has a balance of both good and bad consequences (also depends on who is doing the judging of morality), so it is near impossible (for most non trivial cases) to balance the two in an absolute way that everyone could agree on.
I would say the new action to fix the original wrong should be based on it's own merits, not just in the light of fixing the original problem. I guess that would be hinting at appropriate response in respect to systems of justice vs vengeance or retribution?
I think moral laws are flexible and sometimes the end justifies the means.
I have suffered many times for hiding feelings I wanted to confess but that would harm people if I tell them. And I think I did the right thing no matter if I was lying.
That seems to be the consensus being built. Through I was laughing the other day that I’m about 6000 years late to this debate, and it will persist long after I’m gone.
howdy sir dollarsandsense! ha! great question. Of course we know that you are right about lying in certain circumstances. I've had people tell me " you should never lie no matter what" and I'm looking at them thinking .." are you out of your freaking mind?" lol
No, it's called Wisdom to not tell some things or to avoid telling some things and some people would consider that lying. Not telling the truth can be the most merciful action and save a great deal of pain and anquish.
For instance: lets say you have a close friend who has cancer and is fighting for her life. You find out that her husband has been cheating on her. She asks you if you know if anything is going on with him. Are you going to tell her the truth which could cause her to lose hope, make her depressed so she wants to give up and die or are you going to lie to her?
Ahh, love that you used the word wisdom to describe this! Great thinking, I knew I wanted to define it somehow but couldn’t think of the right word.
yes sir dollarsandsense! happens to me all the time and that is the perfect word to describe it, I usually struggle to find the right ones but sometimes I get lucky! you guys do anything this weekend?
Not much out of the ordinary. Had a shift at the station last night - not a single call. It's rainy here too so we're mostly indoors. My wife is about to pop with baby #2 on the way, so we've been taking it easy after a bunch of travel (Maine and Texas) a couple months ago.
oh wow dollarsandsense I didn't realize you guys were expecting baby number 2! wow congratulations. Not a single call last night at the station, is that unusual?
Yep, she'll be here any day now!
Nah, not too unusual. It's a slow town, which suits me just find!
ha! I'd be in that station enjoying myself and praying there wouldn't be any calls! that way it means no one is hurt and I get to have my own time to do posts or something.
why stop at just 2. Just keep wronging so you can really keep righting.
Hahah, this make me smile.
Clickbait!
And yeah, morality is not a set of rules. There is no one action that is right in every similar situation.
I am not sure this example is the best ever though, but hey, I'm no marriage counselor.
You....you may wanna look one up though.
Haha, IT WAS A RHETORICAL SITUATION
For the record, I think the mermaid thing was cute too - but thanks to some weirdos with strange "hats" we can't see even this innocently anymore.
The reading example is definitely a case where the second "wrong" is simply correcting the first one. That one works.
Others are cute...
When I was married the first time, I had some friends who would come and visit me on a Friday afternoon. One of them was a full-time father. He went shopping afterwards and happened to meet my then-husband in a supermarket. He said: "I've just been with your wife." before he realized how it sounded!
No, not quite an example of two wrongs making a right, but it was a cute story nonetheless.
Ahhh, the hats!! Don’t remind me 😣
Yeah my first example seems like a technicality and a misuse of the word. But I suppose it could apply in the real world. For instance, if you miss the application deadline for something only because someone sat on your paperwork too long, they would need to make an exception (a second wrong?) to allow your papers through.
Guilty!!
I had a friend who had a cheating spouse
I knew about it but chose not to tell her
I knew for a fact that she wasn’t going to leave him, not then (she did many years later when her special needs child was older) and if I had told her, she would have been miserable, and then would have fought with him because of the embarrassment of her friend knowing and then stayed with him anyways. There’s more to the story of why she wasn’t going to leave him then but not for me to share.
That’s probably the biggest 2-wrongs-hopefully-made-a -right I have been a part of
Great example! Did you ever tell her that you knew? Or is that a secret you still have today?
Only mentioned in passing, very generic like she knew all her friends knew and she knew what he was doing but not like a heart to heart
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