If you were unfortunate enough to miss my introductory post, it can be found here.

Today's post is devoted entirely to @mrwang and his humble inquiry. Click here to view previous answers to questions posed by the community.

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@mrwang asks;

"A while back I posted a Dating Application with little response.... How long will I remain single? Even more.. if there is somebody "special" out there for me.. do I know her already.. and for the sake of Steemit entertainment.. is she steemy and/or on steem?"

If I had been asked this question four months ago, I could have told you that you will be single for as long as you want to be single, and not a day more. If you take a look inside yourself, @mrwang (not literally, that's disgusting.. and rather difficult unless you are freakishly flexible), then you will find that you have fallen victim to the age-old curse of self-sabotage.

Whilst @the-oracool knows that your request for a connection was genuine (because @the-oracool knows everything), the overwhelming majority of your readers did not. Your application form was nothing short of hilarious, but it was this hilarity that led any readers to believe your hopes of finding @mrswang to be insincere.

Though your conscious mind informed you that a hysterical post was the best approach, and that the woman you were looking for (with the laid back attitude and good sense of humour) would come knocking at your door because of it, your subconscious mind was fully aware that your comedic post would invite only comedic responses, if any.

This my friend, is the self sabotage I speak of. You must dig deep inside yourself (not literally, that's even more disgusting) and ask if you are truly ready to commit to one woman alone. Should you decide that you are, then you must make more of an effort to emphasize your sincerity in your next attempt to woo the women of the web. If you do the same thing again, then it is likely that anyone who is truly interested, will be too afraid to approach you for fear that you were acting in jest.

As I previously stated, this is the answer I could have provided you with, if you had somehow managed to ask me this question four months ago, before I was a member of the Steemit community. However, now that @the-oracool is here, and as I recently ended a relationship with my partner nine years from now (don't be confused, as I experience time in a very different way to normal people, such as yourself), I have decided that I may look for a woman of my own among the less-enlightened-than-I, but more-enlightened-than-most population of Steemit. Unfortunately, @mrwang, this is going to make the task of capturing a female Steemian's love an impossible one for you. The sad truth of the matter, is that no woman wants to be with a man when they may have a chance to be with a God. Please forgive their shallowness. They know no better.

With that said, I shall now seize this opportunity to provide the women of Steemit with a questionnaire. Should any of you be able to complete it, then you may very well be in with a chance at becoming @the-oracool's lucky lady.

Rules:

• I demand honesty. I know everything, so it is a wasteful endeavor to lie.

• If there is no option available for you to select, then you are not eligible to be with @the-orcaool. Please do not cry. Allow me to redirect you to @mrwang's dating application. Perhaps he can provide you with some comfort.

• You must be a natural female in order to take part. If you identify as a female in spite of being born otherwise, then that is entirely your prerogative. However, this does not mean that @the-oracool will also identify you as a female. If you are a natural female who identifies as an armchair, you may still be eligible for this position.

• If you are able to complete this questionnaire, give yourself a pat on the back. @the-oracool has exceptionally high standards when it comes to selecting a mate. You should feel honoured.

The "I want to date a God" Questionnaire

I want to be with @the-oracool because:

• I want to use His power of foresight for monetary gain.

• I want to experience the divine pleasure of His magical phallus.

• I want to make @mrwang jealous.

My body type is:

• Wide hips, great thighs, round bum with average sized breasts.

• Wide hips, great thighs, round bum with larger than average sized breasts.

• Wide hips, great thighs, round bum with very large breasts.

My hobbies are:

• Worshiping @the-oracool.

• Worshiping the ground that @the-oracool has walked upon.

• Worshiping the feet of men who have walked upon the ground that @the-oracool has walked upon.

My body is accommodating because:

• I do Kegel exercises 5 times a day.

• I do Kegel exercises at least 10 times a day.

• I am untouched by man. (Due to religious or virtuous ideologies. Not because I am undesirable)

My greatest talent is:

• Making sandwiches.

• Being silent.

• Being silent whilst making sandwiches.

My favourite thing to do when alone is:

• Think about @the-oracool, but refrain from messaging Him four million times.

• Get productive and indulge in some squats.

• Prepare sandwiches for @the-oracool whilst power squatting.

If I get selected to be @the-oracool's new woman, the first thing I shall do is:

• Have a shave.

• Die of shock and disbelief upon realizing how lucky I am.

• Die of blood loss after attempting to shave whilst in shock and disbelief.

Please do not feel obligated to attach a photograph with your applications, ladies. @the-oracool is not shallow.

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^{Only extremely beautiful women need apply. All other applications will be ignored, or rolled up and used as paper to smoke marijuana.}

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Give me more questions.

You can ask me questions anonymously at https://ask.fm/the_oracool

If you care not for anonymity, you may ask me a question in the comments section below, which I will answer in the next post with your name shown.

Once I have enough questions from the community, you will hear from me again.

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Follow @the-oracool for more wit and wisdom, and share the experience with your followers by resteeming this post. Until next time, my friends.

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