Why i don't like ways modern relationships are taken plus 8 sbd contest give away
Love in my fathers time
I can argue that the best people enjoying love till now are our fathers who got married in the 90s, i dont know of other people analysis but i can judge from what i see between my mum and dad and some elders in my church and environ.
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We know the stories of how our parents dressed then, look then and they fell in love with each other and have high respect for their husbands, judging from the way food is served, they are been welcomed from work and carrying out domestic chores.
Modern love
Starring at her laps from some meters of where am sitting at the bar, i can feel blood passing through the veins of her lap, as she crossed her leg sipping some chapman and use her left hand to fling her weavon backwards a little, already i am liking the lady. Cutting the stories short, we were able to be together.
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My problem with ancient and modern love scenerios
There many things we do this modern days that am not confortable with, taking myself as an African man, i will say few which i think many will have various view of
Marriage proposal
How did my dad proposed to my mum if he actually did? Or did he also use the family way of coming with his family to seek for hand in marriage from my mums parents? whichever way it is, its fine to me because so many stress was eliminated of make-ups and break-ups, lies and deceit, heart break and the rest and they are still enjoying their marriage life till date
Now looking at the modern pattern; after wooing for months or weeks, you became friends, asked her out and you entered the relationship, date for years and you want to propose now (assuming all things been equal). Now the new headache is the location to use, the beauty of the ring, the line to use and so on.
MY OWN PROBLEM IS WHY THE HELL DO I HAVE TO KNEEL TO PROPOSE TO MY WIFE TO BE, I AIN'T GONNA DO THAT STUFF, AM SO SURE MY FORE FATHERS DIDNT KNEEL TO THEIR WIFES TO ASK THEIR HAND IN MARRIAGE, SO WHERE THE HECK DID THAT TRADITION COME FROM?
House chores and serving food
I dont mean to sound to assume my wife to be a servant or anything, but why should i wash dishes when my wife is not pregnant or ill, thats still part of showing love right?
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Or bringing breakfast to her on bed, wow! what a caring husband, but thats bullshit to me, why should i be in the kitchen preparing breakfast and and you are still in the bed, or is the breakfast a way to reward your laziness, please dont me thats modern love, because i see no sense in it, you should be up also doing one house chores or the other and not sleeping like its your last day earth.
Please all said words are my own point of view, you can argue for or against.
Now the contest of the part
Rules
- argue for or against in your comment of which type of marriage life best fit the African enviroment
- resteem this post
- upvote it
- make your comment catchy as possible
- winners will be selected by comment with lowest upvote xD
- contest ends 17:00 GMT +1 by Friday 16-03-2018
- lowest upvoted comment must be an entry of 6hrs latest thats 11:00 GMT+1 Friday 16-03-2018.
Thanks
Prizes
- 1st 5 sbd
- 2nd no sbd
- 3rd 2 sbd
- 4th no sbd
- 5th 1 sbd
Countering opinions is allowed, free Steems for people who give valid points to counter different views in comments
Kneeling on one knee as fundamental to the standard proposition isn't cherished ever; it has all the earmarks of being a to a great extent current innovation, yet it's not clear how it began. The engagements we know most about in history are the ones amongst nobles and the well off, and those were regularly in the way of business courses of action, with none of this "stooping before your cherished" stuff. Truth be told, canvases of honorable pre-wedding assurances in history perpetually portray the two gatherings as standing or situated; no stooping appears by any means.
One conceivable origin of the modern kneeling ideal is in the Middle Ages tradition, in which a man of good birth basically committed himself (finish with lyrics, tributes, deeds of respect, and general vassalage) to an aristocrat he saw as prevalent. The whole rule of this famous state of mind was that the man was a sort of worker to the lady, whom he romanticized past all reality; and he played out his subjugation by bowing, profoundly and allegorically. (Regardless of whether they at any point really got together involves authentic level headed discussion. Most likely not, in a great deal of cases; huge numbers of the ladies being referred to were hitched.) Kneeling spoke to primitive surrender and profound respect. History specialists have really had contentions about whether certain medieval pictures indicate men bowing to their elegant cherishes, or to their male bosses.
it's additionally been brought up that bowing between men was a major indication of status. Knights stooped before their masters to get respects, and surrendering armed forces bowed before their champions. Stooping to the lady you will wed might be a piece of a similar thing: a demand for her support and a physical showing of unwaveringness and surrender. It appears to have first appeared in the nineteenth century, yet with reference to why, your guess is as good as mine.
I oppose the ancient way of relationship. First, its archaic and not very much practicable in this world. Who the hell waits for his/her parents to bring a wife/husband home???
In the olden days, youths leave it all for their parents to make life decisions for them. Be it course of study or profession, religion, mode of dressing, marriage and also where to live or settle down. But in this generation we(youths) have been given the privilege and independence to make decisions on our own and i feel who and when to marry shouldn't be excluded.
Truth be told, there are many loopholes in today's relationship but going backward is not the answer.
In today's relationship, You don't always have to go n your knees to propose to your woman. You can just get her pregnant and leave the decision to her if she's gonna get married to you or not.
With the innovations and civilization steadily developing in Africa, I believe our marriage or relationship life shouldn't be lagging behind.
In conclusion, The modern mode of relationship fits today's Africa. We can't continue living like our fore-fathers.
Because, oyinbo say "the old ways we leave behind is a vomit that snake cannot swallow"
Thaink you
u know I heart you, so i just upvoted your comment.
Well, we are all entitled to our opinion. I prefer our modern marriage. In those days, people marry without any blood group check and so bring birth to kids with sickle cell. Those days, women had little or no right to education. Their education was in the kitchen. Now, we have career women all over. Then any woman can be sent packing unjustly , she has no chance of fair hearing, now, a woman can sue her husband and the court will decide who takes costody of the kids and decide on terms of property sharing. That time , all the woman had was for her husband, now a woman has right to her money and property. Quite alright some women in our time are naughty but someone brought up well by those old mothers will do well in her husbands house. My fear is for mothers and wives of next generation. This generation women are still doing well.
As for relationship, my problem would have been sex before marriage we see in our world today. But without judging them and any disregard for God who hates fornication, i think the points i made here should matter as much as marrying as a virgin
Nice concept @onos. Kudos.
These days, that property sharing ish is misused and abused. Lazy and sinister spouses use it to rape their partners. Eg Emmanuel Ebuoue
Hahahahahahaha
Mr @onos, hummm
Well, from my own perspective you've never been in love.
Yes, you've not found a true real love
I stand to be corrected tho.
you are yet to find love
I prefer the modern relationship tho, it's fun, sweet and interesting.
Not so old boring traditional relationship, where it's so dry and all.
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Bringing breakfast to your wife in bed doesnt mean a thing, i dont know why some guys take it up and sees it as a big deal.
It not like you do it everyday, maybe just once in a while. Show her love, give her a treat just out of the blues. That making her feel loved, dont see it as an obligation.
Love conquers all tho, and that your view.
Well this is my own view, try to fall in real love. thanks
Abegii, there is nothing like love. Love is just an excuse people give to have sex and do other friviolous acts.
Really
Oh forget that, and that is excatly where you got it all wrong.
U can only decide your motive of love, if it in to have sex or do something meaningful with yourself. Understand what love is love doesnt hide under any pretence
Thank you for your wonderful comment. You deserve an upvote.
What type of Marriage fits the Atavistic, Unfeminist African society?
I'd say a little of the two. The relationship system that's commonplace here picks out the terrible parts of the aforementioned Marriage types and combines it in a mix.
Take for example, the stereotypes that emerge as a result.
Both have unsuitable characteristics. Sure they've got their Pro's too but they don't appeal to me lol.
lols!
From the above analysis, i will say the ancient love scenario is best judging by some of the factors listed by you. Every love story has it shorcomings but i prefer how things were done then to how it is done now.
These days, proposal, photoshoot and 'feferity'(lavish spending) determines who is caring or not. We are being sold 'nude' these days and makeups. Hardly will you see any beautiful lady out there these days without makeups.
Irrespective of what ladies think, i prefer the ancient love to this present one because monetary factors and 'what will people say' play important role in the heart of today's ladies.
Thanks.
l just upvoted your comment
Ancient love or not, i just want a faithful woman
Hard to find 🏃🏃🏃🏃
Hahhahah! Thats a hell of a modern relationship breakdown. In my own opinion, i'd prefer neither the new or the former, i just love to do my thing. My wife to be must be hardworking and diligent so there's no room for me as her man to be relenting. We can do our thing with sense anytime anywhere without minding the world. I just want to be myself and we want to be ourself. No paparazzi in proposals, just sip a Henny or Spanish wine and say the words, go naked in the bathroom and tell her i want to be her man forever. Just me, just my own way, not necessarily the way the world perceives proposal and relationship lifetstyles to be. This is me, if you like me , hit me up
Nicely said, I just upvoted your comment.
Go naked? Abi u don't marry am?