Repatterning the Past: Ancestral Healing

I'm not sure if it's the solstice energy or what, but the past few weeks have been full of intensity, journeying, images, and insights coming in like wildfire. Sleepless nights combined with long workdays and tons of inner work (including shadow work) have left me a bit tired, but in a way, strangely energized. I will note here, it is SO important to practice self care during energetic shifts, repatterning, and shadow work. This stuff is no joke.
It's also important to have external support of some sort, either a therapist or a friend who understands energetics, or some sort of expert or professional who you trust and relate with. When doing shadow work, ancestral work, or any deep energy work, it's really easy to be left with a feeling of being all alone, where no one understands, and it can be very isolating. I don't think I need to describe to anyone here what isolation feels like when introspecting... it's very real. And shadow work can be dangerous. When we haunt the doorways to our shadow-lands, we find our skeletons, and our beasts, to be sure. But we also find the slow disillusionment of self. And it's frightening, teetering on the edge of deadly insanity and the most pure and truly sane you have ever been, and ever could be.

I want to talk for a moment about an experience of ancestral healing. Rather, I would like to call it Ancestral Repatterning, as it is frankly more accurate.

As we grow and mature amongst our families, especially in the earliest stages of development, we unknowingly pick up patterns and habits of our parents, and often it is reflected and strengthened in our siblings, if we have them. As we get older, our patterns are then strengthened and become more apparent as we get involved in relationships outside of our families, and as we create our own families. Some of these patterns go far back into our ancestry. I will give you a personal example which was very striking for me recently.

When I was a teenager, my mom and I were driving in the car, and she told me some of the biggest, toughest news a kid can hear... my parents were getting a divorce. I remember talking to her, I remember her crying, and apologizing. I also remember her open honesty when I asked the big question... why.
Turns out, my dad had an affair, no one knows for how long, and my mom weighed all the options, and decided that a broken family (or rearranged one) would be healthier for everyone than one where parents lied to one another, expectations were broken, and kids were wondering if this is how relationships between loving partners really ought to be.
Listen. This is where things get very muddy for some people. Where do we take responsibility? What part of deceit is actually the responsibility of the victim of lies? That's a really good question, one that people have been asking long before this, and will be asking long after. However, I will say this. There was something that my mom recognized in my dad long before lies and cheating occurred. This recognition happens on a subconscious level... most marriage counselors and therapists will tell us that we marry our parents, and there is a lot of validity behind this notion. We like patterns. We like familiarity. And secretly to most of us, we yearn deep down inside to fix the behaviors and patterns of our parents and of our ancestors.
Did my mom ask to be cheated on? Not consciously, no. But there was something there that she consciously or non was searching for... the reconciliation of a long acted out pattern that she likely learned when she was too young to even remember.

Here's the crazy part... and I'd like to point out that I have no research whatsoever to back this up, so please don't bother searching for the links to studies and articles on ancestral healing in this post, because they simply don't exist. Everything I'm writing about here is truth gleaned from personal experience of my own reality. I work intuitively, and I work deeply, and yes I have great resources. I trust myself and my truth and the work I have done enough to share this here. Full Disclosure: I am not here to protect you. I am here to share my truth.

So yah, the crazy part! Those patterns, the ones that my mom has in her, the ones she learned from her parents and they learned from their parents, on and on as far back as you want to go, they are also part of my patterning, my conditioning. That being said, what happens when you repattern and recondition your own energies? Your own behaviors? As I don't plan on having children of my own (besides perhaps adopting, that's still on the table), I am not terribly concerned with "breaking the cycle", if you will. I started doing repatterning work to become a freer and more happy, healthy person. I won't go into the nitty gritty about how it happened, or why, or what techniques I used, or what triggered (or inspired) me.
But part of what I found in this work was this one simple truth...
When you repattern your own behaviors and energies, this echoes back into your ancestry. You not only heal your self (or a better way to word it, come further in to your own truth and aware of your own core and self), you also heal the patterns of your ancestors. You literally repattern everything before you and everything after.

I'm not sure whether I can even describe in words the implications of this truth. I invite everyone here reading this to find an example of this in their own lives and explore it, and glean your own truth from it. Familial patterns are a real thing, and ancestral repatterning is not only possible, but I will dare to say, necessary on some level. The freedom experienced is exponential. The space infinite.

I am even curious to talk with my mom, to see whether she experienced this on any level, simply from her daughter repatterning. It will be an interesting thing to learn!


I will end with a question. Now that you have learned about this personal experience of ancestral repatterning, do you feel that repatterning is our responsibility, as living beings in the present? Or that we are currently responsible for changing the patterns of all who came before us? I would love to hear your thoughts on this!!

Thanks for reading, I hope you all enjoyed this post, and I look forward to hearing your thoughts.
Love to you all, and happy soul searching, always.

Xx The Tree of Life

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Very interesting. I'm going to consider this as part of an upcoming post. I can say that it does seem likely that we attempt to form relationships with people who are familiar to us. In my case, gaslighting monsters who devour all in their path because of Vanity.

Perhaps that was a bit too raw, but in my case, it is terribly accurate. These were by no means the only ladies I met, or became involved with; but they have certainly struck the deepest into my being ( much to my regret) sharding my spirit until there are now 6 of us in this corpus.

Honestly, it was just recently that I was able to reclaim the bulk of them. One is held in trust by a certain neutral party (and could not be safer, tbh) and another is rather tenous in terms of who, precisely, possesses it. Time will tell.

In any case, I (thankfully, though somewhat sadly) have no children, and have no intention of siring any. I would make a terrible father, as my level of madness is not conducive to the stability that children deserve...

I have no idea if my actions are repairing the spirits of my ancestors.. I'm working for folks who need results, and our interests dovetail quite well together.. But if so... Well, goddamn is the past in for a surprise...

I can only wish...

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Perhaps we will all be in for a surprise. 😉
Always enjoy reading your Insight and experience, life is truly full of the most fascinating mysteries.

Is it repatterning in not wanting the same relationship that my mom had with my dad? She's a bit submissive in contrast to me.

It's definitely a good question to ask yourself, and a good place to start. I find the best question format for me is "why". If you reframe it with why you would want to (or not want to as the case may be) then you'll really be digging to somewhere. 😊 And you may find your Insight there.
Another path could be recognizing similarities in your behaviors to hers, and changing your responses to repattern. And see what it brings up. Changing response consciously usually brings up emotions which are great to pay attention to, as they are indicators to our patterns and conditioning, or indicators to our own energetic blockages... Things that are calling to be healed (which are often reflective of theirs).
Thanks for commenting, good to see you @immarojas!

Let me do some introspection with this one☺ thanks!

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I found this really interesting. I've put a lot of energy into recognizing and changing patterns. This flows forward and back introducing a different, better kind of energy to my son and my mother but they cling to what they are comfortable with even when they know they could be happier and freer they refuse to budge an inch. I think it is a beautiful thing to work towards even though everyone resists.

That's exactly it, and all we can really do is put that energy out there, people can receive it, or not. I think tho the more we do the work the more the world around us changes, not just for us, but others entrain to those newly available energies as well. So cool.
Wow thanks for sharing @walkerland, I always love hearing your perspective and experience.
... Family can be so stubborn and stuck in their ways 😂 and it's always reinforced which makes things even more resilient!
Way to be the change tho 😊

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When we haunt the doorways to our shadow-lands, we find our skeletons, and our beasts, to be sure. But we also find the slow disillusionment of self.

Love this line.

I was lucky enough to have a good relationship to learn from - but Jamie didn't - so much damage there. Made him more determined than ever to heal the past by being a good man like his father wasn't (not that he isn't NOW, but the 'past' father acted deplorably - though he's still happily married to the woman he had an affair with, so there's that)...

I'm not sure you really heal the past, of course, but you certainly 'undo' stuff and you create goodness where there may have been some pretty awful shit. Imagine the children of serial killers, for example - how do you resolve that stuff? How do you defy and deny any ancestry that might be clogging your veins? How do you 'become' pure self, uninfluenced by all that past and damaged?

You bring up some really good questions, and you know, I have no idea whether there is any bottom to this rabbit hole. Any of us (whether repatterning relatively small things like divorces and affairs, or large things, like childhood abuse or legit sociopathy or something like that) could potentially if so inclined take our entire lives and dedicate them to repatterning... Maybe finding the bottom, maybe never getting there.
I think... Maybe the point isn't to resolve all the shit from the past, but to be more ourselves in the present, to give ourselves that chance for space, freedom.and happiness now, in real time.
I think it is what our ancestors want for us, really. I think about this stuff alot... How we carry patterns out that we even hate to carry out, knowing we pass them on and the subsequent guilty feelings that come with it. Our ancestors who now have the ability of infinite knowledge and sight if they are in the ether as I suspect, want us to do the work. For us and for them.

I dunno. Some random things I thought of when I read your response. Which I loved btw. It's similar in our relationship, I have great relationship role models, hubby not so much. I think it's amazing that we all do what we can with what we have. Some people repattern without even knowing it. And it still brings goodness to the world. 😊

I can totally relate, I've been going through much of the same of late, and really pretty heavily for the past several years.

I think repatterning is a great way to put it, and fits with what I've been doing as well, which has been primarily working with gratitude and forgiveness. Not always easy, particularly forgiving myself for being all-too-human, but always worthwhile.

Can we heal the past? Well, since time doesn't really exist except as a construct, it makes sense to me that we can and do.

And along those lines, I've recently had a few dreams involving family and loved ones I've lost, that felt like a sort of resolution, like old wounds finally flowering into transformation.

Not sure that makes sense to anyone but me, but there you go, we're each on our own personal journey after all.

As for my love and I, we each had examples at home of wonderful people who sucked at marriage, but thankfully we also had examples in our lives of people who had relationships we admired.

And we're both lifelong learners, willing to own up to our own screw ups, and that makes a huge difference. I can say unequivocally that this is the best relationship I've ever had, and he says the same, so we're doing something right. ;-)

The best part is that we're on our spiritual journey individually and together, we support one another along the way, and we're never down at the same time -- when one of us is down, the other helps put things in perspective, and that is a complete godsend.

I didn't have kids of my own this go round largely because I was breaking a pattern, I chose not to further unhealthy family patterns, and though I have some regrets, I also know I did the right thing.

For everyone. For the world. For humanity. For Spirit. For myself.

We are all One.

Can we heal the past? Well, since time doesn't really exist except as a construct, it makes sense to me that we can and do.

That's exactly how I feel. And your further statement of healing old wounds and relationships seemingly dead and gone that flowered into new transformation, girl, if it is real to you it IS real. One of the most challenging parts of this process for me has been to trust my visions and insights. After going back and forth on "is it real? Is it my imagination?" for a long long time, I eventually just made the decision to trust myself and the guide within, as she is far wiser than my feeble human computer brain 😂 a great machine like all brains but dang there are limitations. So... Awesome for you for trusting your instincts.

I originally chose not to have kids because of bipolar disorder and it's apparent genetic links. I didn't want to "doom" my child to lifelong madness and struggle. Turns out, even bipolar disorder is a mutable thing, when one has an open mind.
Thanks so much for your comment, it was so nice to see your response this morning. Have an amazing day Cori!

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