You help me; I help you

Yesterday, one of my colleagues complained to me: "I've too much work lately, I'm afraid I can't do it, can I share it with others?"

I asked, "How long have you been working on those jobs you're talking about?"

She said: "Not yet, I haven’t started yet, but once I take over, I know cannot get rid of them."

Of course, when encountered this situation, I will generally reflect myself, whether the management is really unreasonable, after all, standing in the team's perspective, resources are always limited, and things will always look more than imagined.

After soothing her feelings, I told her that I would try to check the work task and give her a satisfactory arrangement.

In the next few hours, I assigned a task that supposed to be done by her, to the colleague sitting next to her and wait for her reaction. As I expected, she volunteered to get back the task and said that if it is not a suitable arrangement, she will do it by herself.

After the guidance of her thinking, she finally understands that she can’t push away her task to others.

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Homans, a renowned social psychologist, suggests that interpersonal interaction is essentially a process of social exchange, giving each other what is needed. This is the seesaw law, which we must know clearly in the workplace.

The relationship between people is like two people on the seesaw, getting along well with each other can maintain the balance. Once the exchange is not the same, it will be unbalanced.

Just like two children playing on the seesaw, the happiest state is when they take turns to go up and down, if one side has been demanding higher than other, then the other side will soon leave, or even make you fall on the ground.

To make the other side higher, you must make yourself lower, to make yourself higher, you must make other lower, this is where the field of human behavior awareness plays a pivotal role in the "Seesaw law."

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Reality 1: The fundamental principle is the balance

The interpersonal relationship in the workplace is about collaboration, and collaboration is bound to have a fulcrum, the role of the fulcrum is to balance the two sides.

For example, in a project, you can't expect others to work more than you do, but you gain more than you do; when a project fails, you can't shirk responsibility, and let others take the blame.

Self-centered thinking will inevitably lead to an imbalance in relationships, regardless of other people's feelings and interests will make you lose your friends and keep everyone away from you.

For a stable interpersonal relationship, we must maintain a balance between exchange.

Reality 2: You are higher because someone else is willing to hold you

Many people like to talk on big occasions, preach about how strong they are, and often imperceptible; the surrounding people will be away from themselves. Remain humble, credit to others can gain popularity.

Just like the seesaw, when you are high, not because you are stronger than others, but because others are willing to hold you.

Of course, you have to be aware of this, wait until the next round, you have to learn to hold others, if you don’t, then just sit on the ground.

Last year, the project was a big success, the company approved a bonus to the departments, the proposal is done by me, but the department leader told me: "wealth gathering people", although the vast number of work is done by our department, the proportion of bonuses doesn’t reach my department. Unexpectedly, when people see me, they come and congratulate me and thanked me.

Don’t blind yourself because of the momentary gains, the work of cooperation is a long-term relationship, once successful, don't get carried away, remember those who helped you, your success is not because you are stronger than others, but because others are willing to hold you.

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Reality 3: Deflate yourself so you can bounce back

Since the interaction in the workplace is the exchange of benefits, if you want to be popular, or attract other people's attention, then you need to improve your value. The simplest way is to deflate yourself to elevate others so that you become beneficial to others.

Especially in the early days of the career, all the leaders and colleagues, expect new people to grow to help the team, at this time, highlight your value is the priority, do not have grandiose aims but puny abilities, and others might feel that you are useless.

Believe in this rule, help others ten times, others have to help you once. The accumulation of resources and popularity is very important, do not easily consume your accumulated resources. Help others, and after getting help from others, give positive attitude feedback.

If you think only of yourself and disregard the feelings of others, this behavior will be considered as selfish, selfish people like sitting on the top of a static seesaw, although it seems to maintain a superior position, but also in a helpless situation.

Of course, I must mention that nothing can be absolutely balanced, like a seesaw, if the seesaw is on a horizontal line, it is also boring, the seesaw is more fun when it is going up and down.

Life and work are all about you help me; I help you. Helping each other in the surprise, need to master the core, think of others and help others.

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