Wrong Motive IV, Contributed By @Olawalium
…continued… from part 1, part 2 and part 3
As I have been saying, there are so many weird reasons that people give all because they want to get married. I was speaking with this lady recently and I could sense from her words that marriage is a big goal for her while she is not doing anything to develop herself. It is quite sad, really. She didn’t just have marriage as a goal, she also has this weird ideology about how a marriage should be.
The parents must have imbibed into her that marriage is a goal and I think she understands her parent very well because she complained that they are mainly for the material things. The parents would gladly let her go to the ‘highest bidder’ even if she is not happy with the person. Since she knows this, I think she should have worked on being a better person than trying to follow the path that leads to unhappiness.
She said she wants to leave her house and this is why she is pushing marriage at all cost. I found it unfair on the person she might want to get married to. You said you love the person you want to get married to but yes, you threatened the guy with a break-up and running to the hands of others if he doesn’t come quickly to come and do the marriage rites. How is that love, please? It is crystal clear that all she wants to do is to get out of that house and marriage is a getaway card for her, and that is a very terrible way to view marriage.
You are currently unemployed and you have no definite plans for your own life, so how do you intend to cope with the rigour and demands of marriage? Sometimes we feel we can cope with it until we are actually faced by it and they crumble underneath when we are unprepared for it. Marriage is never a getaway platform from parents’ influence. Maturity is a getaway card for that because when you display some level of maturity and self-improvements, your parents would have no choice than to respect your choices and listen to you.
…to be continued…
Thank you for your time.
My pen doesn’t bleed, it speaks, with speed and ease.
Still me,
My tongue is like the pen of a ready writer.
Olawalium; (Love’s chemical content, in human form). Take a dose today: doctor’s order.
Any person's parents can not afford the burden of his responsibilities throughout life. After the marriage is not exactly because of the care and nourish in the reason, we make bigger, will take our responsibilities and take care of our good. And it should also be done when we stand on our feet and mature in the way to play in the responsibility, we should be properly in the relationship as a marriage because parents are not able to take the burden of our responsibilities. We need to enable themselves to raise these responsibilities. If we will not be able to nourish themselves, the life partner will be done. When we will be able to fill the life partner, our parents will not be able to refuse us for these things, and our happiness will not be able to refuse us for these things.
Thank you brother @olawalium
Our parents are important and we need to understand that we live in different era. We need to develop ourselves and be better for it. If she has shown any sign of responsibility and improvements, maybe thr parents wouldn't push her as much as they are pushing her. There is a place of personal development too.
I always enjoy your comments and deep understanding. Thank you, my friend. I always appreciate you.
I always woo to parents who pressure anf push their children into marriages for the gains in most cases theirs, not caring what happens to the child afterwards.
to some women its a "crime" to be a Man because the man is expected to provide everything. see tis lady who has no means of taking care of herself in the first place let alone assisting the man but wants to get married at all cost. You point exactly here She wants to get away from her house n family (wrong motive). Aside that most likely nothing else.
Recently, a certain young chap n celeb got married to someone folks have jokingly tagged as her ancestor. With doubt it can be easily inferred why she got to that point with the Man who is way far older. Age is not a factor but putting a parameters in place we can conveniently conclude that there is more to that than meets the eye.(Wrong motive).
A lady once got married to a very wealthy man almost 5 times her ageand beforw long got pregnant.Fast forwardat his demise she got nothing, not even fairly used toothbrush and thus resorted to destroy the home she met.(Wrong motive)
May God guide Us all especially the yet to be married.
thanks for sharing sir
I always enjoy your illustrations and comments. Thanks for that.
Yes, once the motive is wrong, then the steps that would follow would equally be wrong. Yes, I heard of Regina Daniels who is 19 and she got married to a 59 years old man. Yes, love has no class or age barrier but then, she can better explain what her motive is. There are some problems people put themselves in that could have been avoided.
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