Wrong Motive II, Contributed By @Olawalium
…continued… from part 1
I shared the story about a young lady that said she wants her husband to be the one to foot the bills for their wedding while she sits there and do nothing because she feels that is the true test to see if he is man enough to get married. I also shared that she was hiding under the pretext of ”I am not working”. I shared this again for you to see how so many people have gotten the whole idea of marriage wrong. Most parents have instilled into their children that marriage is a goal and it is the epitome of everything a lady can be in life and that is horrible teaching to pass down to your children.
There is more to life than marriage. As much as I love marriage and I am enjoying mine, I have heard so many people kick against it and they are still getting by. I am not saying you shouldn’t or you should, but what I am saying is that if you must, your reasons must be genuine and not because you want to conform to the societal demands.
Many people want to get married because they don’t want to be left behind. They would tell you that when you have clocked a certain age, then you should and must naturally be feeling pressured if you have not gotten married. Where was that script written? I must have missed the memo. We seem to have gotten a lot of things wrong as humans. We sometimes create rules for ourselves because we have seen a pattern that others followed.
Maybe your friend got married at 26, and your cousin got married at 26 and your own blood brother or sister also got married at 26, naturally, when you clock 26 and still unmarried, you start having the feeling of failure. You are defining how well you are doing in life based on the standards of others. Come off it! You need to get your reasons right. You need to be able to answer the questions of ‘why’ before you can give birth to answers of so many questions that will spring up in your marriage. Why do you want to get married? You need to ask yourself that.
…to be continued…
Thank you for your time.
My pen doesn’t bleed, it speaks, with speed and ease.
Still me,
My tongue is like the pen of a ready writer.
Olawalium; (Love’s chemical content, in human form). Take a dose today: doctor’s order.
Dear friend @olawalium
Being unmarried till the age of 26 does not mean that you are failing in life, but it may also be that you are trying to choose a suitable spouse because one of our wrong steps ruins our whole life. Therefore, the appropriate time of marriage is the same when a suitable life partner is found, then we should do yes for marriage as I have said before, there is no age limit for marriage There is a union between the hearts and the hearts in which it is necessary to meet our thoughts, there must be a sense of devotion to each other. This life is ours and we must live it in our own way.
Regards
It is a union between two hearts and indeed we should stop living according to the dictates of the society. We need to do what's best for us because as you have rightly said, one wrong step can bring our worlds crashing down while depriving us from fulfilling destiny. So many people have lost their dreams just because of that wrong step, which is why we need to be careful and take as much time as we can in deciding whom to spend our lives with.
Always good to hear from you, my friend.
In response to this piece, Apostle Paul said and i para-phrase; Marriage is not for everyone. The misconception is this part of the word is that if you aint married then you have failed. I was addressing a couple of young minds and i said Marriage doesnt mean you have fulfilled destiny and nit been married isnt that you have failed either. it doesn't make you go to heaven and thats if it doesn't take you from that path in the first place. We have more broken marriages than ordinary relationship simply because we have misplaced our priorities.
thanks for sharing sir
Misplaced priorities! That is absolutely right. Many people feel they are failing because they have "come of age" and they are not married. They yield to pressure and jump into any man's arms only to be treated like a joke because some men would sense the desperation and use it to their advantage to treat that lady anyhow. After fee years they would start saying men are evil or marriage is a sham when they don't know that their desperation sold them short.
When ladies start recognizing that they have more to offer than giving birth and men start being reasonable to know that marriage is not about sex and fathering a child, then we can start experiencing more happy marriages.