Love Life Over Friendship?
WHEN you're in a relationship, some things will naturally change. Of course, you cannot give your friends the same amount of time you used to give them when you were single. You would normally spend a lot of your time with your significant other. But things don't have to change significantly between you and your friends if there is a BALANCE. You need to make sure that you don't make them feel like they're less important to your life now that you are in a relationship already.
It has been a common issue between friends eversince. There would always be jealousy if you can't give them enough attention. Of course they expect you to still be there for them. You have to remember that no matter how much you love your partner and no matter how much he loves you in return, your friends were already there to cheer you up before he came into your life. You friends know you so much. They've been there through your ups and downs and has always helped you stand up during your weakest moments.
Photosource : Pixabay
It is important that you introduce your partner to your friends. Allow them to get to know each other. They don't to be close with each other and you definitely should NOT force them to be friends as well. But it is important that they know each other and that there's no conflict between them. They don't have to fight for your attention if you give them enough time. I know that's a bit hard to handle and you probably have more important things to do than that. But we're talking about your partner and your friends here. They're the people that you value and cherish a lot.
Spend quality time with your friends without tagging along your partner. Do the things you usuay do before. Hang out with them as often as you can. Eat out, go malling or go to church. Whatever it is that you and your friends want to do, do it with them. Make sure that your partner understands and respects your relationship with your friends. You don't have to choose between love life and friends. You can have both. The question is: are you sensible enough to handle both? There are a lot of aspects to consider and it can be tough and challenging. But it is not entirely impossible.
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To a point we are all narcissists and are after our own self interest. I do not believe friends should be jealousy because you are spending more time with your lover, it's natural. It's what people in love do--spend time together, especially at the initial stage when you guys are getting to know each other. Your friends should know this, but that's not usually the case. It's not about who came first but who matters more. I know it's a bitter pill to swallow but no one will pick a lover over a friend, well I speak for myself. This is somebody you're might have a family with...sent the rest of your life in the same space with, that's a lot.
It's a different case when you totally isolate yourself from them,your friends. As long as you try to meet up once in a while, they should appreciate. It's your time in the first place, no one is entitled to it.
However, like you said we need to keep a healthy balance. This can only be possible through conscious effort. Call, text, meet up once in a while if time permits. Let them know they are still part of your life, but they should also know your priorities have change and if they are good friends, they will understand and support you.
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