Cycles of infatuation – "why and when do we fall in love?"
Everybody wants to be in love.
Those who have never felt that emotion crave for it; those who have already been in love before, desire to experience the emotion again or at least make it stay. Couples who fell in love with each other usually report that "something happened" and after no more than a few months/years the magic has gone and they are no longer feeling "in love". Mystics and new-agers tell us that love is our natural heritage; that we were born out of love, live through love and are loved always by the big spirit/All that is, whatever you want to name that consciousness.
Credit: Redbubble
But if love is so natural then why most of us do not feel "in love" most of our lives? Why do we tend to fall in love more frequently when we are young, in our adolescent years for instance? Why is it that the older we get the more difficult it (seems to) becomes to be in love with someone? When a young teenager falls in love we consider it just one episode among many others to follow, but when a mature person finds love, we advise them to cherish it forever. If love is so common, always around us, then why is it so rare?
In the Bible, the book Song of songs 3:5 it is written "Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires" (translation - THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984). However, if that is so, if love can be aroused by us, then how come it is absent from the lives of so many who repeatedly call, cry and beg for it?
In this short article, I wish to offer a description for the hidden processes that take place during the life of a human being, and which affect their love life. I wish to illuminate the backstage happenings in order to make it easy for the troubled mind of those of you who seek love or the state of infatuation.
For starters, let's examine the following sinusoid graph –
credit: nomad-magus
The graph describes a movement in time of something. This "something" is the life of a human being, of you, for example. It has the ups and downs, lefts and rights, declines and descends, often times rapid and chaotic and at other times easy going and tranquil. Just like any ordinary human life.
Now, let's look at another sinusoid graph, this time the graph describes the movement of your soul/higher-self/expanded I/divinity/ I AM, whichever title you give to your divine essence. Note, I am not talking about ATI (All that is), the Oneness. I am referring to your own specific soul consciousness:
credit: nomad-magus
The soul, your soul, has its own pace in its own dimension. From our point of view the rhythm, the peaks, the fluctuations – all are rather mild and steady.
Now, look at the combined graph – the human and soul together:
credit: nomad-magus
And this is the point I want to make –
The human being is born and then sent away to live, explore and experience life. The soul that created it has its own sphere of existence and carries on to live its own "life". The two are not really separated because the human is a part of the soul, but generally speaking, the soul does not interfere with the human's life. Since the human is the soul's offspring (among many other aspects) the soul monitors its life and occasionally visits it. The times when such visitations occur are the points of intersection. The less resistance the human puts forth, the easier it is for the soul to penetrate the physical existence. During childhood and adolescence the personality is not so clumped and fenced by fixed patterns of beliefs or by conventions and norms, and therefore the mind is still open to accept the soul's offerings.
Falling in love, therefore, is the physical outcome of the inner encounter with the soul.
The physical hormones that are generated, the adrenaline for example, are the physical manifestations of preceding alterations in consciousness. In other words, we fall in love with another human after we have made a close contact with our soul self.
The graph above demonstrates several important principles:
- There are times when our soul is closer and even "walks with us". Meaning, we feel the soul's presence for a rather long period of time. At other times the intersection is sharp and momentarily.
- There are times when the soul is far away from the human. Those are the times when we may feel very lonely, as if we are neglected and were abandoned.
- It seems that the points of separation are random and coincidental without any way to control neither their quantity nor their quality.
Practical implications
But that is not true at all. We, the human beings, have the ability to arouse love and awaken it. Now that we understand that "love", as a state of being, and "falling in love" as an emotion, are the result of our relationship with our own private soul, the next step is to find a way to make that relationship closer and stronger. In other words, our purpose is to pair the graphs in a way that the two would be as perfectly as possible correlating with each other:
credit: nomad-magus
When that happens the human is in a state of grace. Love is present in their lives in its many forms of expression – relationships, financial abundance, health, self-fulfillment, etc. "Working on the relationship" will no longer be a burden. Many couples who claim to take efforts in order to "rejuvenate their love" often focus their efforts in the wrong direction, working to change themselves or their partners, exercising physical stimulus to enhance passion or using artificial tools to "awaken the magic". The truth is much simpler. Love has gone away because your soul is away. No need to judge yourself (or your soul) because this is the nature of life. The soul has its own "life", you have your own life, and that's the way it is.
Integration
But not always. Every human who lives now and every human who will be born in the coming decades will reach a point in life, a critical junction, in which s/he will be asked to make a choice – do you choose to integrate with your soul? Humans are not victims; they can call forth their soul to join them in their physical life. They have the power to summon their higher self to this reality and make it stay.
How to do that? You already know the answer – self love. When you love yourself in a balanced and not egotistical way, when you practice allowing, when you use your imagination and your feelings to direct and ignite your choices, when you subtly focus on your purpose, when you enjoy life – you tune yourself to the frequency of your soul, to that sine pattern.
The first encounters with your soul are the moments you feel in love. At those moments your soul is with you in a beautiful way and you can leverage those moments to bring it closer. You can use your night hours, your dreams in which your mental fences are down, to meet your soul. You can use your waking hours to give your soul attention – through your thoughts and your feelings – so it knows it is welcome.
In conclusion
Being in love or having a loving relationship is a direct indicative of the human's relationship with their soul-self. It's not about luck or fate. If you are not in love right now it doesn't mean you are destined to be isolated; it only means that currently, you are distant from your soul-self and for a very good reason. There is always a good reason. You can make a choice, right now, to call upon your soul self, to make the gap and bring the reunion. With it, a new love will enter your reality for your delight.
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You can’t force to fall in love, you can’t pretend it either. If it’s meant to be and if you open yourself to fall in love, it will eventually happen. Even at the older age. I understand, in older age it’s harder to fall in love, but everything is possible. All you have to do is to meet the right person.
I completely agree! There are couples thinking as long as they are happy sexually they are in love. They say “there is no love without sex”. Once the sexual part passes, they think they are not in love anymore. In most cases the truth is, they were never in love. They were only sexually attracted. In my opinion sex is just a small part of love. To me being in love means happiness, being willing to sacrifice everything you have for your other half without hesitation. No matter how tough times you go through, as long as you go through it together as a team, you will always be fine. Once again, you can’t force these things I mentioned, it must be natural. It must be what your souls feels. You have to belive you can fall in love, you have to believe it exists.
That’s how I feel about it.
Indeed.
Even sex is love, as you said. Even bad relationships are love.
But the ultimate love, in my experience, is the allowing of the soul, the I AM.
Accordingly are my posts.
I think falling in or out of love come naturally and not forced
I have fallen in love several times in my life so far. All of these were not fruitful. Here I find very important advice about love. You have presented your post nicely. How many times have you fallen in love? Thanks for sharing.
Too many to count.
When one expands one perception of love, infatuation occurs daily
Reading your posts @nomad-magus always gives me clarity , I always get a better understanding of my life. The things that I have experienced and the things I am experiencing now. The questions I always have are being answered. If I feel real happiness in my life now, with my family, my partner and my work does that mean I have a good relationship with my soul-self? I hope I am not confusing this with duality.
Thank you very much @nomad-magus for giving answers to my question. :) ♥
Indeed.
You see, there is one indicative to a genuine connection with the soul - JOY
Yes, there's JOY! Thank you very much @nomad-magus! I am all smiles now.😊
It's a choice of mine, the enjoyment of my life, of what I have and what I am, is a way to bring my soul closer? I don't know what I'm doing wrong, but I think I live a life open to balance, focused on my purposes and I enjoy it, just as from today through my thoughts I will attract my soul and tell it that it is welcome.
Why do you think you do something wrong?
You cannot wrong. I guarantee you that. And if you don't believe it, then go and try. Do a wrong thing and then come to tell, and we will both see how right it turned out to be. 😊
you posts are amazing!
but don't know why I am unable to understand Some of these, maybe I am not mature enough and I have to learn alot of thing Still.
Don't worry.
You receive the information unconsciously.
Thanks Buddy!!
I have a question but How Can I ask you that in private?
i don't want to tell that here
You may write your email address and I'll contact you.
In my opinion I do not believe in love, I think everything is based on the material, but in some cases we fall in love with those people who understand us and who appreciate us as we are, with people with whom we can spend pleasant moments, in some cases if there can be pure and true love that does not focus on the material.
So you do believe
😉
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You like how you manage to explain one of the most irrational and complicated matters .
Falling in love is a magical experience that occurs between two human beings. The use of the term "fall" implies that the process is in many ways was inevitable, uncontrollable, risky, could not be changed, and put two of these beings in a State of vulnerability; just as the term "fall" in the word "sick" or "fall into the trap"