Does TRUE LOVE actually exist?
We all have been struck down by the Cupid's arrow at some point in our lives. A strong physical and psychological attraction between two persons that is so powerful that those persons become willing to do anything for each other. It's hard to define really. I thought hard about using the word "physical" in there because love is much more than just "physical". In fact, it can not be physical at all. I ultimately decided to include it as I thought there's always an intimate factor to attraction. We all would like to believe that something similar to "true love" exists, but does it really exist?
Attraction
I think to deduce the existence of true love, we must first investigate the phenomenon of attraction between two individuals. To define attraction, we must define it's converse: "hollow attraction." Hollow attraction is based upon physical features and looks only. Is that person sexy enough? How's their body, their hair, their facial features? Or more explicitly, how are their breasts, legs, and all that.. good stuff. But that isn't really true love. That's not even attraction. It's a temporary surge of feelings in your mind that causes you to develop that hollow attraction for the other person.
If we look at attraction, it is based upon the feelings, mannerisms, and nature of the other individual. Imagine you see someone else at some place. You notice their smile, their mannerisms, their laugh, their behavior. You see a glimpse of their inner beauty which is what ultimately attracts you towards that specific person. Not an attraction based upon simply physical features but one based upon something far more important than that. You are attracted to the other individual because of who they are. This attraction forms the foundation of true love.
Love
When the attraction between two individuals reaches a certain point that both of them are equally and deeply involved with each other that those two individuals are said to be in love. It's bond that holds them together so tightly that they become a part of each other. They become two halves of a single body. It is nearly impossible to rip those two halves apart. That feeling is indeed incredible. You love the other person just for what they are, not for what you expect them to become, you love them for who and what they are and nothing more. You are prepared to sacrifice everything that you possess for the betterment and well-being of your significant other.
But like every other thing, love is not immune to diseases. Lying is the cancer of love.
If you want to hurt your significant other, look no further than lying. Lies eat away at the trunk of the tree and ultimately they rip it out from the roots. It keeps the other person in the dark, makes them worry more with each passing minute about you. And when you tell them the truth, the start to wonder why they've wasted years of their own lives with you.
You don't get to see or experience true love every so often. Of course, it's prevalent in fiction and movies, but does it exist in real life?
I, for one, believe that it does. Although it may not be as common, it surely exists. You just have to look for it. It may as well be in front of your eyes and you may never see it. True love exists in every form. As rare as it may, I like to believe we all have the capability in ourselves to find it if we try hard enough and desire it from the depths of our heart.
If you are looking for "true love" outside of yourself then you are looking in the wrong direction. You need to go inwards, through many layers of the glass onion. Through despair, hurt, envy, anger, fear until, at the very core of your being, there it is: True Love. And that true love will now shine out upon the world.
To spend one's life looking for true love in the world is a fool's errand.
You are absolutely right! But isn't it possible that for once, you find a part of your inner self in the outer world?
Imagine that: you look outwards and find that person who completes you. They are your other half. Isn't that possible?
Once you have found true love at the core of your being, you are complete. You don't need anything outside of yourself to complete you. You may delight in sharing the love that you are with another being. But you definitely do not need that to complete you.
Suppose, rather than going inwards to find true love, you searched the world until you found that one person that you think "completes you" and you fall madly "in love". What happens when she dies? You are "incomplete" again?
Bingo. Good relationships are made up of two wholes, not two parts of a whole.
I believe true love does exist. My husband (@lukestokes) and I love each other deeply. We have been married twelve years now and have supported one another through many challenging things: dealing with emotional baggage and insecurities, learning to be a “safe place” for each other, working through the deaths of my husband’s mother and father, raising three children (ages 7, 5 and 3), physical injuries, moving cross-country, coming to a place of discordant worldviews.
We do not “complete each other.” We were not two halves that came together to make a whole. Instead, we came together as two wholes and we complement one another. He is strong in areas where I am weaker and vice versa. I am in the details, while he looks at the big picture. He is more extroverted, while I am introverted. I like to cook, and he would rather do other things.
True love does exist, but it is not easy to maintain. It is a commitment. A choice. A decision. A sacrifice. A choice to work through things rather than give up and leave. It’s not all roses and lingerie. It’s messy, because we are messy. It is unconditional, forgiving, patient, kind.
I can see how other people may question the existence of true love, though. Skepticism rooted in their own personal experiences—broken relationships, conditional love, unhealthy habits/patterns, emotional/physical/sexual abuse...
A commitment. A choice. A decision != True Love
It is Conditional Love.
I see what you're getting at... Our marriage is a life-long commitment to one another, but if either one of us did not make that commitment, or broke that commitment, then we wouldn't have a marriage (or at least a good one).
True lovers do not need to get into the very institution of marriage. Marriage is declaring to the Government "We are in Love". Terming it as True Love is hypocrisy at its best. It is just living together under certain condition & restriction. Love may or may not exist in that arrangement.
I wasn't trying to say that an official certificate from the government = true love. Obviously, that is not the case. True love exists regardless of a piece of paper, and plenty of married people do not truly love each other.
Meaning, calling marriage true love is hypocrisy? That's not what I said. Or am I misunderstanding you?
How did you and your husband meet? Was it love at first sight? I'm really interested in this topic!
We met through work, initially at a week-long training. Love at first sight? I don't think you can really love someone at first sight. I think you can be attracted to someone physically and that physical attraction can grow into the beginnings of something deeper over a quality first meeting, but I would hesitate to call that "love" so quickly. In any case, when I met Luke, I thought he was really good looking and nice and someone I definitely wanted to get to know better. After that initial meeting at that training, we worked one-on-one together on a big project for many months and ate lunch together most days (sometimes just the two of us, sometimes in a group). We became really good friends. Best friends. Saw each other in the good, the bad, and the ugly. Our friendship developed over the course of a year and nine months. Then we officially dated four weeks and got engaged. Got married four and a half months later. Been married 12 years now with three beautiful children.
Aww, so nice to hear. Congratulations, and I wish you many more wonderful years together!
Thanks!
Wonderful, you and your husband found real love and purpose for your lives!
Happy for you !
Lying , cheating is the downfall of our whole society in all areas and every "love story" of course . I just posted a wedding I attended yesterday ( Usually I refuse to visit such events for over 30 years ) I wrote a few words combined with very romantic pictures . Do I believe in true love ? Oh yes ! My love to my daughter is beyond every love any man could give me . That's true love . I don't know any better , yet but still wish to trust in finding unconditional love .
I do believe that true love exists...but it's not the stuff of fairy tales. I wrote a blog a while ago called 3 must haves for a strong committed relationship - solely based on my personal exepriences of failed relationships, what went wrong, and how I finally hit the jackpot with my husband. I've said it before and I'll say it again: we aren't perfect, but we're perfect for each other. :) Here's the link to the blog if you're interested. https://steemit.com/relationships/@merej99/relationships-three-must-haves-for-a-strong-committed-relationship
As for defining love... I simply can't do that. It's like a wordless entity. Everyone has an interpretation of it. Sometimes it's confused with lust, but love is like faith for me. I believe in a higher power and love ranks up there.
It was hard for me to define it too. I thought if I should include it's definition or not. Since it may vary from person to person, I decided to give my own view of it's definition here.
I believe, true love used to exist when Apple & Blackberry were just fruits. Now, I dont find it among the human race anymore. But yes, it still does exist, if you look beyond the human race. Here are two examples...
i. Meet Dindim, the penguin who returns to his human soulmate every year
ii. Loyal Dog Still Waiting Outside Hospital 8 Months After His Owner Died
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Good article.
I've always though of love as a marriage between feeling and action. There is that attraction as you described so well and all of the feelings that come with it. But feelings can change whether its day to day changes or a gradual shift over years. A big part of love is the choice to commit to a person and sacrifice yourself for them even when you don't feel like it.
The heat of infatuation fades but a true, committed love can keep bringing it back.
I believe in true love. My husband and I have been together since 1985, married since 1994, and are still truly and totally addicted to each other. We enjoy each other's company so much that we tend to exclude the rest of the world and after 31 years, we still consider ourselves a romantic couple.
On the other hand, what you said about lies is true. We have never lied to each other and another key, I think, is that we respect each other.
Just my $0.02
I strongly believe it does as well but it's not what a lot of people think it is. I just wrote about how people confuse love with neediness
Hello @infinitor
You have given me an inspiration for another post. Love does not exist.
The difference between Love and Sex is 15 minutes