RE: Does TRUE LOVE actually exist?
I believe true love does exist. My husband (@lukestokes) and I love each other deeply. We have been married twelve years now and have supported one another through many challenging things: dealing with emotional baggage and insecurities, learning to be a “safe place” for each other, working through the deaths of my husband’s mother and father, raising three children (ages 7, 5 and 3), physical injuries, moving cross-country, coming to a place of discordant worldviews.
We do not “complete each other.” We were not two halves that came together to make a whole. Instead, we came together as two wholes and we complement one another. He is strong in areas where I am weaker and vice versa. I am in the details, while he looks at the big picture. He is more extroverted, while I am introverted. I like to cook, and he would rather do other things.
True love does exist, but it is not easy to maintain. It is a commitment. A choice. A decision. A sacrifice. A choice to work through things rather than give up and leave. It’s not all roses and lingerie. It’s messy, because we are messy. It is unconditional, forgiving, patient, kind.
I can see how other people may question the existence of true love, though. Skepticism rooted in their own personal experiences—broken relationships, conditional love, unhealthy habits/patterns, emotional/physical/sexual abuse...
A commitment. A choice. A decision != True Love
It is Conditional Love.
I see what you're getting at... Our marriage is a life-long commitment to one another, but if either one of us did not make that commitment, or broke that commitment, then we wouldn't have a marriage (or at least a good one).
True lovers do not need to get into the very institution of marriage. Marriage is declaring to the Government "We are in Love". Terming it as True Love is hypocrisy at its best. It is just living together under certain condition & restriction. Love may or may not exist in that arrangement.
I wasn't trying to say that an official certificate from the government = true love. Obviously, that is not the case. True love exists regardless of a piece of paper, and plenty of married people do not truly love each other.
Meaning, calling marriage true love is hypocrisy? That's not what I said. Or am I misunderstanding you?
How did you and your husband meet? Was it love at first sight? I'm really interested in this topic!
We met through work, initially at a week-long training. Love at first sight? I don't think you can really love someone at first sight. I think you can be attracted to someone physically and that physical attraction can grow into the beginnings of something deeper over a quality first meeting, but I would hesitate to call that "love" so quickly. In any case, when I met Luke, I thought he was really good looking and nice and someone I definitely wanted to get to know better. After that initial meeting at that training, we worked one-on-one together on a big project for many months and ate lunch together most days (sometimes just the two of us, sometimes in a group). We became really good friends. Best friends. Saw each other in the good, the bad, and the ugly. Our friendship developed over the course of a year and nine months. Then we officially dated four weeks and got engaged. Got married four and a half months later. Been married 12 years now with three beautiful children.
Aww, so nice to hear. Congratulations, and I wish you many more wonderful years together!
Thanks!
Wonderful, you and your husband found real love and purpose for your lives!
Happy for you !