Building A Relationship From The Scratch

Relationship could take any form

Relationships are often built between both parties. Today we shall be talking of a romantic relationship. When a man and a woman is romantically involved in a relationship, we say they are dating.

In my opinion, a lot of things could go wrong between them, that relationship could cease to exist.

I am interested in the real life affairs of relationships, I am in not talking of telemundos nor telenovela.

We shall examine the following

What does a romantic relationship involve?

The roles of both parties

Things to avoid while building a relationship

Pionts that could help us build solid relationships.

What does a romantic relationship involve?

Simply put, a man and woman. These two are an ingredient to a successful relationship. More than ever, let us take to heart that the kind of man and woman in a relationship shall influence if the relationship would be a failure or a success. This is because of their intricacies, the way they view life, the things they hold dear, and most importantly they are from different backgrounds.

Never expect that he must love all you do, agree to all you say or she must cook all you want.

These notion could cause a fracture in our relationships. When we continually press our own needs, we must consider both the needs of our spouse at all times especially when taking decisions.

All relationship that wants to survive and stand the test of time needs love,they need patience, they need understanding, they all need the founder and his Manual(GOD).

A modern misconception

I had to correct these misconceptions, urbanization, technology and quest for independence by man had led to so many misconception.

A relationship needs sex to survive.

This is the wildest lies told to us in modern times. Except a man and a woman is married, sex should be avoided, in our societal norms this is the only way a man and a woman should trend.

Money
Every relationship needs lot of it to sail but should not be a must.

Build a relationship far from money

A relationship must not be built on material pursuit.

I still know a lot of people who are super rich and yet their roses of love don't fly.

Tons of poor people yet; they still sailing, but this is a two way thing. Whether the relationship flies on material things or not is still based on the people inlvoled.

Double dating

Men are designed to have several woman

Who said that? In our modern society, so many people feels it is alright to for a man to cheat, but not thewoman? I totally disagree!

In the garden of Eden, Adam was not given Eve and Sarah, but only Eve. So our original passion was one for one.

So relationship is a give and take, they both must contribute to the success of the relationship. It must not be one sided.
If a man is to provide for both of them, what is a woman's role?

The Role of Both Parties

A man should provide for his family, this is our make up. Most girls who enter into a relationship see it as a full time job, hehehehe. They want the guy to take care of their soap, their clothes, their smile, virtually everything. This is inhumane.

A lady must strive to be independent, she must keep her virtue, she must remain a woman in all ramification and must be able to provide for herself, sometimes even provide for her man, its no taboo if she decides to pay for bill when dey go out.

A woman is to make her man happy, she must learn to be a backbone of her man, and a tensile strength. She should not be a stress in his life.

They must reciprocate their love

They must both reciprocate the love they have for each other in their own ways and always look for new ways to love.

If they are married, their role is to love each other until death set them apart. If they are still single, they have to build a solid foundation for love to grow, this should be made stronger every passing day.

Things to Avoid While Building A Relationship

These are a few selected things I feel we should avoid while building a relationship, there are lots of them though, but let's stick to five.

sex
As I stated earlier, this is a major killer of the relationship. Many ladies thinks that giving a man sex keeps him. Let me tell you;

sex can make him comeback for more sex, because a man was designed to love the skirts.

So darling, in any relationship, try to get sex off, keep it off, and if he wants sex let him marry you.

Nagging

When you nagg in just a relationship its a sign to watch out for, maybe you need to go your separate ways, yes you must discuss, but not naggingly. Make the environment safe for both of you psychologically.

Materialism

This is bad for both parties, when a man becomes materialistic, he becomes so preoccupied. When a woman becomes materialistic she becomes demanding.

Cheating

The moment you start cheating you begin to loose trust. So avoid cheating in any way, do not even try to flirt especially in front of your spouse.

Comparison

Avoid comparing your spouse with anyone, especially your ex. If you would compare them with anyone, you better go date that person. No one love to be seen as weak or inferior. By comparing your spouse you talk them down. You are invariably telling them that "I want to date that person because I think they are right for me and you are not"
So think before you run your mouth.

Some Points That will Help You Build Your Relationship

Find new ways to love

Do not be predictable, always find new ways to love your spouse, be spontaneous, show them you love them always, say it and mean it.

Always Be Independent

A man or woman, should be independent, if possible as a woman try as much not to request anything except you need it. As a man don't wait to be told what to do. When you see a need fill the need.

praise yourselves

Use any small opportunity you see to praise yourselves. When you both are on track or something worth celebrating, celebrate it. You can also celebrate your anniversary privately if you are still unmarried, talk about how you met, what attracted you to each other and likes of it.

Be patient and forgiving

Your spouse is not perfect. So you must learn to love their imperfections. It is these imperfections you must be patient with. You must also be tolorating and learn forgiveness.
You must be hurted, its never will always be sweet smooth sail. So in the stormy days bear with with it.

Be Truthful

If there is a killer of trust and love, everyone knows the power of lies. When your spouse uncovers your lying schemes your worth anvtruth will diminish.
So always stay truthful, no matter how its going to hurt, spare me that line of "I don't want to hurt him".
Hurt him him with the truth, and if it brings you both apart, you will be safe with a peace of mind; how truthful you were, that satisfaction gives self worth.

Always be truthful patient and be forgiving.

Always Apologize and take responsibility

If you have being found faulty, apologise. " Am sorry" is just two words you should keep in your pocket. Thus, take responsibility for your action. Stay humble and try as much to avoid arguments when you are wrong.

Spend Time Together

Thus can't be overemphasized. Spend time together, know each others fantasies, intrigues, likes.
Observe how you fact to things around you, know the colour of their smile,laughter, and feel the heat of their sadness and pains.

When you spend time together, it afford you opportunity to study and know each other better, it gives you the right vibe to build your relationship to the moon.

Take a bold step

If you have being with these person for such a long time, perhaps its not working out, take a bold step, walk away...,but if you feel or see yourself with this person in your future, take the bold step, hehehe.
Stop being afraid, just ask for guidance from God, most times you can never be sure, but make sure you know what you want and you can see it in them.

Take the bold step, walk her down the aisle.

So many people today, miss the opportunity of building relationship to the moon, everything is possible, just dream it, and you can have it by constantly talking to yourself about it and making nature confirm to it.

Disclaimer
Every Idea on this blog is the authors opinion, do not hold him laible should in case you misunderstand the point or misapply them. You also have the right to your own opinion.
All pictures used for this write up is gotten from pixabay(a free online picture source). They do not represent real persons or situation stated in this work in any way. They are used to help the reader with a better understanding.

Appendix

Image Credit: pixabay.com

Also read related topics from this blog:

Understanding your mate and sustaining your marriage

Is cheating justifiable,an advent into the history of side chicks

Dealing with Terminal illness of a loved one

Author: I.C Nelson

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Yours truly loved

@iconnelly