April 10th, 2013steemCreated with Sketch.

in #love2 years ago (edited)

I usually prepare for this day, I gear up for it like a court appearance, this one and Mother’s Day are the toughest—today was different. I woke up today knowing April 10th is significant but I couldn’t recall why. I even went through the calendar in my phone thinking I was missing someone’s birthday. I noticed Joselyn’s birthday is tomorrow and I don’t have her email, ever since we moved away from the US, email is my only line of communication with my people in the states—I don’t have hers. I emailed the chef and asked him to get Joselyn’s email for me—he did. I finished my second cup of coffee and made my shake before hailing a cab to the gym, as I locked the door behind me, it finally dawned on me: I buried my mother on this day exactly six years ago.

Sheila Jo: 09.26.55 - 04.10.2013. This is a picture of her taken in January, 1956—have you ever seen anything so perfect??

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Dear Mom:

@puravidaville says you’d be proud of the man I’ve become, I hope she’s right, I have a long way to go, I wish you guys could’ve met. I’m not a big fan of this day, I think I’d rather have a sit down at the federal building in Fresno, Ca—I hate those people. Aunt Sarah just emailed me, she said “sending my love and a big hug to you today. I miss your mom every day, can you imagine how great she has felt the past six years?” That was nice of her, she’s been very nice to me ever since you left. She even talks to me now—it feels amazing, sorry you didn’t get to see it. Joshawillis said “Good! Maybe she’ll finally realize just how’fa king cool you are.” You did that, mom, all by yourself—you raised someone they think is cool.

I’m sorry it had to go down like this, I wish things were different. I think about you all of the time. Just #writing this article is difficult and my eyes keep rinsing off my cheeks. I think I’ll take a shower now and hit the pipe, you’d love the weed down here in Costa Rica, mom, it’s top shelf! It’s so good, you hardly have to smoke it, just looking at it gets you stoned. Alright, that’s what I’m going to do now, I need a shower—I’ll be back. I love you, mom!

I’m back, I’m so fresh n so clean now, remember that one? I miss you every day. I miss passing a Pendleton handle back and forth with you at the river. I won’t even drive that highway anymore. I miss the way you extended your laughs with a high-pitched exhale. I miss playing backgammon with you, man what I’d give for just one more game of backgammon—I would love that!

I wish I could talk to you again, just one more time, I won’t even talk! I’ll just listen—promise! I won’t interrupt you or try to correct you or anything, I’ll just listen and you can ‘talk my ear off,’ as you used to say it. I tell everyone about that, I tell them how you used to end our phone calls by saying, “ok, I’ll let you go now, I’ve probably talked your ear off.” I had your voice saved in the voice memos in my phone, I can’t even remember how it happened now but I don’t have your voice anymore. It’s probably for the best.

Pura Vida says she believes both you and her dad on watching over us and that’s why our lives are so easy—she says you’re my angel and you’re always watching over me. I guess if I had to have an angel, a mom is the best kind—thank you! Keep an eye out for me!! I need all the help I can get.

I’m sure you already know but that entire storage unit got stolen, they stole every.single.thing I had left of you, the only pictures I have are the few in my phone that aunt Sarah sent me. They took everything, even your baby book and your report cards from when you were in grade school—I’m sorry. All I really wanted were those five letters I found from you, addressed to me, after you left. You’re the coolest mom in the world! I don’t know anyone else who can say that, that they found five letters from their mom or parent after they left—that was so awesome. They were in a small, clear piece of plastic Tupperware with a red lid, the size of a shoe box, I wish I never left that box in the storage unit. I think about those letters all of the time and I wish I could remember what they say.

I could probably write this letter forever, you know? There’s so many things I’d like to say but I’d rather just hear you. If I had the opportunity to tell you one more thing, I’d tell you “I know how much you love me.” Look at the simplicity in that sentence, not a wOrd in it has more than one syllable and it’s something I never said until after you were gone. I hope you know that. I hope you don’t mind me writing this #letter like this, it’s the only thing I could think of doing. I keep taking breaks from writing because I don’t want to stop but I also don’t know what to say.

I asked Filipe if he’d mind going down to La Casita today, have a chicken chimichanga and a bud light, and take a picture of it for me. He said “absolutely!” I know it’s what we used to do on your birthday, not your death day, but I feel so awkward for not remembering the significance of today’s date that I’m just doing whatever I can think of to draw attention to you—he’s going to send me a picture. I’ll respond to Aunt Sarah’s email after I click the post button on this and I’ll attach a link to this article for her—she misses you all of the time, I hope she likes it. I wish I could do more.

What am I thinking?! Listen to me, acting all “poor me” again, I don’t mean to do that. You don’t care about letters and emails, you’re not concerned with anything worldly anymore—check you out! You got a free ticket when you were 57, do you have any idea how many people have to wait 80 and 90 years for that ticket? You got yours real early, too early for those of us down here who love and miss you but just in time for you—perfect timing. I’m happy for you. I hope we get to see each other again. Everyone says we will, they all say we’ll be reunited with our loved ones when we die but nobody really knows that—I wouldn’t even call it a guess. To say “you’ll see them again” is nothing more than a sentence typed in English.

What’s it like up there? Or, over there, around there, wherever the ‘there’ is, what’s it like there? Can you already see me with you? Tell grandma and grandpa I miss them and I think about them all of the time. Make Uncle Paul laugh for me one time with that raspy, coughing voice of his, I miss playing Scrabble against him. Please let Uncle Tim know I’m glad I got to see him on Thanksgiving. I’m going to stop rambling for now, mom, I just want you to know that I know how much you love me.

Love always,

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Can I like this 50 more times? I’m so glad you took the time to talk to your Mom today. She can hear you, read you, feel you wherever and however you communicate with her. She truly must’ve been an amazing woman to raise such an incredible man, and although I never got to meet my mother in-law I still feel like we would have gotten along great.

Year 6 is weird and it’s strange when we aren’t so hyper aware of the anniversary date but we will never forget. You did something very special for me, you changed my Dad’s anniversary date into a very positive, special day for me… that was a neat trick 😉. I don’t think it would’ve worked at my year 6 but at year 10 I was ready to call that day a special day , a good day. I have a feeling your Mom and my Dad has something to do with that too. I love you- this is beautiful, you’re beautiful, your Mom knows how much you love her too; promise.

I love you two

We love you right back homes. I heard you got a buddy who’s traveling the world and all you have to do is go visit—must be nice. The consequences of ignoring that opportunity will last a lifetime. God bless the D’s!

His death isn’t significant enough to me to remember the date every year and it’s beyond my humanly ways to do such a thing—that’s all God. Now I have a way to remember his departure date, too, I love it when things work out the way they’re supposed to.

iheartu all the time. It’s 4:30 in the morning and I’m getting to my responses. I touched a couple of people with this one—perfect! I hope they all say what they need to say to their mother before they don’t have the opportunity anymore. The consequences of not saying it last a lifetime. call your mom!

Has anyone told you how beautiful you are lately? Well then, allow me: “You make me want to be a better person.”

I’m the luckiest guy I know.

Aweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrr… that is the sound you make when you read something very sweet from your husband. The er is a natural progression of the drawn out “awe”. I’ll call my mom when you’re at the gym. I love you handsomest. Muah

Bro... 😥 that was hard to read through. Im sure your moms is proud and @puravidaville is right.

A humble reminder for myself, to say, do and be for the ones around and still alive, especially my mother.

Blessings to you and your mother.

❤🙌🙏

Weirdheadaches, my man.. the food fighting extravaganza himself, what’s up dude? Thanks a lot for the Resteem on this one, you’ve supported me since day 1 around here and I appreciate it. Thank you!

That was my underlying motive here. I hope what I had to say reminded everyone (you included) to say what you have to say while you have the opportunity. The consequences of keeping it to yourself lasts a lifetime.

Thanks for stopping by @weirdheadaches, and thanks for helping this article reach a larger audience. I really appreciate it.

Ugh, tugging on my heart strings man. Your mom sounds bad ass, I can see where you get it from. She's up there, no doubt. Now I'm gonna go shower and dry my eyes, er, I mean enjoy a pipe. God bless ya, @dandays.

Hello, intothewild, thanks for reading what I had to say, it means a lot. I really do prepare for that day and it completely slipped my mind this year—so weird.

I wasn’t sure if I should release such raw emotion like that but I just couldn’t figure out what else to do with it, this is the only platform I use, I decided to click the post button.

I received a few comments as sincere as this one of yours, though, so I’m thinking I made the right choice. Thank you for supporting what I’m doing around here—it means a lot man, really!

Thanks for stopping by @intothewild and thanks for dropping me such kind words.

Awe....this is pure love!

Can you tell? It’s that obvious, huh? 😉

Thanks for stopping by @jrb450. How’s Texas treating you?

Loving Austin, although I miss CR. Hopefully can get down there soon! You in Panama yet?

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Yeah, we really enjoyed being in Austin also. It’s a really nice city!

Pura Vida just got back from a 3 day tour through Panama, we had plans to do some more exploring and then we ran into car trouble. So, one thing at a time.. our journey has been put on a temporary pause. We’re supposed to have the truck back next week, hopefully sooner rather than later, and we’ll try to pick up where we left off.

You know how the saying goes down here, though: “tico time.”

To listen to the audio version of this article click on the play image.

Brought to you by @tts. If you find it useful please consider upvoting this reply.

Ahh yeeeah!! @tts in the house blockchain! Thanks you guys.

Thanks for stopping by @tts.

They 'stole' your stuff Dan...but couldn't steal the beautiful memories of your mom.

It’s a blessing in disguise, a tough one, but still a blessing, in my opinion. Otherwise, I would just be storing a lifetime worth of memories, paying the tab, and most likely forgetting what was in there anyway.
Well, at least that’s what I try to tell myself.

Eh, I don’t know how I missed clicking your follow button, angryman, that wasn’t intentional—it’s fixed now. 👍🏿

Thanks for stopping by @angryman.

that was really beautiful thanks for sharing xo

Thank you for reading it, farm-mom. It was a tough one to click the post button on.

Thanks for stopping by @farm-mom. You know, please excuse me if this seems weird but I really don’t want Rob to miss this article I released on Monday. I already mentioned it to him but it seems he’s been an extra busy farmer these days. I was actually rewarded quite well on it and I’m really proud of it. I always look forward to what he has to say so I’d love to hear what he thinks if he gets the time. Thank you, again, I don’t mean to be a bother. And thank you for all of the support both of you have shown Pura Vida and I, were pleased to be on your list of ally’s.

Hello dandays, how are you? I am very touched to read your writing about your "mother". Mother is people who want to give up her lives for her kids.The greatest love in the world is the love of a mother. Was that beautiful baby in your mother's arms you, friend? I am fortunate still have a mother until now. I hope taking care of her until the end of her life. Greetings to you, friend.

Was that beautiful baby in your mother's arms you, friend?

“Guilty!” Yes, she’s the infant in the cover image and I’m the infant in the signature. Did you notice how I didn’t put up anything at the end like a typically do with the “thank you” and the gifs, etc? This one was just a letter, I chose not to use it as a promotional tool.

Thank you for reading this one elianaelisma, it was all impromptu without any planning. It was just a raw emotion I was feeling at the time and this is my only platform so I figured “why not?” I’m glad you appreciated it—thank you! God bless you, your mother, everyone you know and everyone you don’t know. <— that should cover it. 😉

Thanks for stopping by @elianaelisma.

I'm lost for words. As usual, she's probably laughing at all of us. I'm happy to have loved her, and like you, I still do.
I bet she's best friends with my mom. Those lucky stiffs...no pun intended.

Nice dude, I got a laugh! “Stiffs,” good one!

Thanks for stopping by @carklevicci. Give a round of knuckles to the ranch for me. Tell Jerry I said: “I’m surprised he hasn’t came down here yet.”

I thought it was weird when I read this letter from the beginning if only I didn't remember your post about Jimbo before. This is a nice things to do @dandays, talking about your beloved Mom so well.

She's your angel. You know that, God's sents someone to be our angel in this world, in form of human, the Angel is our Mom. It's been 6 years and you still remember everything about her clearly and I'm jealous. I still have my Mom and reading this just made me missing her voice so much. Thanks dandays for sharing this with us. You've been blessed with such a lovely mom in the world.

You’re very welcome, cicisaja, between this one and Jimbo’s article, can you tell I miss her? It’s probably pretty obvious, huh? “Guilty.” (I’m so guilty)

I’m also blessed to have met such sweet people on this platform who always have kind things to say to me, all the time! Such as yourself—thank you!

Thanks for stopping by @cicisaja.

When you show us how much you miss her, it didn't make you look like a cry-baby or mama-boy @dandays 😊 you are your Mom's son and you inherited many of her wonderful memories though.

Shed your tears... you still have another angel there, she is beautiful and amazing chef too

Moved by this letter to your mom. Got chills a couple of times while reading. Probably the most important thing in that storage locker were those five letters from your mom, what a freaking shame. I was fortunate enough to have both of my parents around well into my 50's and that was not long enough. They say time heals all, and to some degree that is true. I know one thing, as time passes we tend to miss our loved ones even more, with fond memories daily flashing into our conscious. Your mother left this place way to early and that could not have been easy.
In reading @puravidaville 's reply, I would have to agree with her, your mom raised a good man. A compassionate guy, with a helping hand always extended, a man tough enough to overcome the obstacles put in front of him, and a gentleman who isn't afraid to express his true feelings, and shed a tear. As #farm-mom pointed out in her last #fff post, real men do eat QUICHE, and real men do Cry.

Great pic at the end of this letter to your Mom.

My man! It’s always a pleasure to hear from you. When you’re silent it... well, what it does is.. sucks! That farm must have you super busy these days because you’re not too active on the platform—good for you! You must have enough syrup to to feed an entire colony.

About the time thing, I’m sure you’re right. The only thing I’ve been able to say about time is “it gets easier.” I don’t know about ‘better’ or ‘goes away’ or any of that, I guess only time will tell but, from what I’ve learned, it does get easier.

Thanks for acknowledging that little infant boy in the end, Rob, that same guy is typing to you right now—thanks for noticing. Did you notice how I didn’t attach my signature or any promotional links or anything? I don’t think she would’ve cared to see those things in a letter addressed to her, what do you think? Thanks for always being so supportive, sir, I really appreciate it!

I really need to do something about my voting strength, I seem to have run my VP all the way down this week with my new experiment. I’m trying to post an article every day of the week this week so I can get that badge from steemit-board—I’m three for three! 4 to go!

Thanks for stopping by @thebigsweed.

Thanks for being you @dandays. It's a pleasure to see a guy that isn't afraid to express his emotions, rather than put on that macho and stoic front.
I will be looking for your daily post. Will one of them be as curator for #artzone , I really enjoyed kicking up the ones you mentioned.
Have a great weekend @dandays.

Negative, I’m only doing ArtzOne in Thursday’s which are articles I curate between Sunday and Thursday and that’s a different account altogether. These 7 days will all be from the dandays account—thanks a lot for keeping an eye out for me, Sweed! It means a lot.

What’s on the agenda at the ranch today? In case it requires a long winded response, you should know, I’m not scared. 😉

Damn, I got a cheek-washing, too. No doubt your mom was one rad lady. I don't think any of us could hope for a greater legacy--for those we love to know just how much we love them (while we are still here and long after). Thank you for sharing this lovely tribute to a beautiful woman, and for sharing a piece of your story. ❤

See that weak Upvote? That’s called a 60% VP—I really need to work on that, I’m going to have to adjust my upvote strength or something. I had planned on calling you out in my next post, I’m still going to do that but I’m trying to figure what to write about—perhaps adjusting my upvote weight will work?? 🤔 Or emojis. Perhaps upvote strength and emojis?!

Because I want one of those signature gif’s with my picture in it like you have!! You know how long I’ve been with @qurator and I’ve yet to get one of those frikkin things? So, I’m going for a grand slam this week, tref, I’m going to try to get one of those badges from Steemit-board that says I posted every day this week, the most I’ve done to this point is 4 and that was a long time ago. I’m usually a two-fer—what do you think? Think qurator will hook me up if I go all 7 days or do you think they’ll be like “you gotta go all 7 days for longer than 7 days!!” Yeah, I know..... well, at least I still have a shot at a new badge.

Do you think I danced around the subject long enough? I still got in a full-bodied post in the form of a response, right, while successfully shielding the content? Yeah, yesterday and Mother’s Day are the toughest. They get easier with time, that’s a fact, but they don’t suck any less. Thanks for being cool, Plants! I’m glad we met—there an echo-co-o-o in here? 🤔

Thanks for stopping by @plantstoplanks.

I'm sure they're just saving the best for last. ;) You'll get one of those snazzy stars on the @qurator walk of fame in no time, I'm sure! Especially after posting all 7 days. I posted every day for a month straight when I did a plank contest a while back, and even before then a pumpkin workout series when I first started. It was no joke. I think I went on a long posting hiatus afterwards because I needed to recharge my batteries, haha!

Did your mom happen to like birds? I forgot to mention I noticed our little robin babies in a nest outside our garage for the first time yesterday. The nest was just high enough to not be able to see any eggs, but we were hoping we'd get some little ones. Sure enough as I was driving into the garage a little beak popping up just barely caught my eye. Then when mama came around with some worms I could really see all three of those hungry little mouths popping up. My grandmother always loved bird-watching, so they always make me think of her. Her birthday is Monday, so I always think of her around this time, as well. I didn't even think about it until just now but she passed in 2013, as well.

To end on a lighter note, I almost jumped out of my running shorts today when I saw a snake on the side of the trail. The two older gentlemen who were walking by as I screamed got a pretty good laugh. I sucked it up and went back around for another lap, though. I just ran like an a$$hole in the middle of the trail to avoid any further contact with the slithering suckers. 🤣

Oh, man... your mom has left us really early. Only 57!? I'm sorry to hear that. I'm lucky to have my parents still alive... and they were born before your mom was.

I’m sure you already know but that entire storage unit got stolen, they stole every.single.thing I had left of you, the only pictures I have are the few in my phone that aunt Sarah sent me.

That really stucks. Damn thieves, they have no respect for people's memories. 😮

Thanks for your post. I can feel this came straight right from the heart.

Ruh roh.. my voting percentage is getting real low—I think I’m going to need to make some adjustments on that. 🤔

Good morning, trincowski, I appreciate you taking the time to leave me a response. Did you notice I didn’t attach my signature or promote any of my previous work or anything on this one? Even Pura Vida missed that part. This was just an open letter—I’m glad you liked it!

Yes’ir. She was only 57—“gone!” I was only 37 at the time and get this: she’s the only parent I’ve ever met. Plus, I’m an only child, when she left it was a lot to grasp.

Yeah, they stole that storage locker and didn’t even need it. Those memories are of no value to them, they were discarded as trash because, well, in all fairness, that’s all it was to them. I hope their karma is frightening.

Thanks for stopping by @trincowski! And thanks for supporting what I’m doing around here—it means a lot. Are you going to enter @pifc this week?

my voting percentage is getting real low—I think I’m going to need to make some adjustments on that.

I know the feeling... and I'm looking into @tipu right now. It seems like a good solution to that issue.

Did you notice I didn’t attach my signature or promote any of my previous work or anything on this one?

I though you didn't want to make the post any bigger than it already was. 😛

She was only 57—“gone!” I was only 37 at the time and get this: she’s the only parent I’ve ever met.

That's scary... I'm over 40 now, that 57 mark is not as distant as it used to be. 😕

Are you going to enter @pifc this week?

Probably not. I have been participating since the beginning and each time I do, I start following two new people. At the moment, I'm at my limit of the number of posts I can support. So, I'll will participate in @pifc less often.

I'm glad that @soulkanzart has been following my lead lately... I don't mind passing the torch to someone else, after a year of featuring underrated artists! (@soulkanzart, if you're hearing this, I promote you to Unofficial Art Curator of @pifc! 😂)

What he said, @soulkanzart!

@pifc. Thank you for introducing me to @trincowski.

Hopefully on April 10, nothing bad will happen to you, may God give you peace

usually we can search friends email again, or you can call your own friends

Dear Artzonian, thanks for using the #ArtzOne hashtag. Your work is valuable to the @ArtzOne community. Quote of the week: Art, freedom and creativity will change society faster than politics. -Victor Pinchuk

Does April 10 have an important moment for yourself, or an impression that you cannot forget

Dude i just had to come back 1 more time. This was a really beautiful letter.

"I just want you to know that I know how much you love me." I feel she really Injoyed and heard that today.

You’re too kind to me. I just responded to your other one, then I saw this one and was like “wait, am I on the wrong article?!”

Dude if I could just get her on the phone one more time. When I see people around me, and I DO see it, ignoring their mothers call.. it drives me’fa king crazy! Or I hear people on the phone with their mother and they’ll say something to the extent of “I’m just going to hang up now” because for whatever reason their mother is acting like a mom, it drives me’fa king crazy. I always wanna grab their neck like “do you have any clue how blessed you are to have a mom you selfish idiot!!!!”

Mom’s earned the right to act like moms and don’t ever ignore her calls bro. Don’t ever hang up on her. You’ll regret all of those things. You have between now and the time she leaves to adjust those memories. I wish I could.

edit Now it’s my turn to come back. I forgot to say thank you for the Resteem. Thanks a lot for the Resteem, man!

We are only thumb related and I know your Mom is grinning ear to ear seeing who you have become.
Sorry it took so long to come around but hey I made it right?? This got me a little bit I must say, (shh don’t tell the other lineman... he he he) Keep On Keepin’ On!! You make her proud everyday!! Livin’ Life to the fullest.
BTW you have got one crazy memory brother... DANG!!! Thanks for sharing those memories with us and how cool your mom is.

First I have to say sorry for the lack of Upvote, “sorry.” I’m attempting 1 post per day this week and I’ve managed to run my VP down to 60 by Upvoting everyone. It’s at an 80 now, slowly building back up—I need to adjust my voting weights... that’s next.

Thanks for the kind words dude, this article was a trip! I literally train for that day, I anticipate it for weeks. This year, however, it completely slipped my mind, what do you think of that? How did that happen?

About my memory, I really apprrrr.... uhm, than... wait, what was the question? 😉

Nobody noticed I didn’t atttach my signature or promote anything or anything on this one—did you notice?

Thanks for stopping by @jlsplatts. Now if I can just figure out this WhatsApp funkiness! WhatsApp and voting weights—got it!

I forgot to go adjust my voting percentages on steemauto and mine has been hanging around 75% and below. No worries about the upvote, when your running wild on the platform it will happen. Lol

I know how it happened, your in Costa Rica dude. HAHAHA

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