If you can’t decide, just remember these two things
A lot of people will have difficulties to make a choice. For example, every morning after getting up, don’t know what to wear to work, don’t know which restaurant to go to, don’t know which food to order when holding the menu.
One of my friends, she was considering to break up with her boyfriend. She didn't think her boyfriend loved her enough, she wanted to find someone who really loves her. However, she worried that after breaking up with this boyfriend, the next one is not as good as this one. So, she tangled on how to make the choice.
Last year, I faced a major decision. Several colleagues of my age planning to resign. Because our relationship is quite close to each other, I found that they can freely to do what they want to do, and their salary is similar to me. I'm starting to falter.
This makes me linger for a long time, weighing the pros and cons: If I resigned, I can go all out to do what I like, have more energy and time, three years later I will definitely be better than now. If I continue to work in this company, after three years, I might still be the same.
Almost every one of us is going to get caught up in a similar tangle.
Why do we get tangled up easily?
The inertial thinking patterns of human’s brains like simple choices. Because everything has good and bad aspects. Even it is not a good side, if we lost, we will still look at it as a huge loss. Our brain has a working principle, the minimum principle of labor, is to be as simple as possible, and like to based on habits.
When you make a choice, you may face too much unknowns and uncertainties, and your brain has to re-establish new links and thinking, which is not in line with how the brain works, and this develops fear. But the complexity of things goes far beyond simple "good" and "bad", and there is even more uncertainty implied, which is unknown to us. In this way, it is easy to have difficulties to make a choice.
Another reason is you are not clear enough about the goals you want. For example, some students when choosing their major, they appeared to be confused. This is because they only know the general situation of the major, don’t understand the specific details enough. There are too many unknown and causing them having a hard time to make a choice. If you go to a restaurant, and you know very well what is the specialty of this restaurant. You also happen to like to eat that specific dish, so there is no difficulty in making a choice.
Thirdly, we are not willing to give up some interests. When facing the "dilemma of making a choice", the French philosopher, Brittan, put forward an expression: "Buridan's ass", that is, a perfectly rational donkey in the middle of two teams of equal quality hay may be starved to death because it cannot make any rational decision as to exactly which pile of hay to eat.
In other words, when we want to get a return on "maximizing benefits", we end up missing the opportunity and get the result we least expected. Therefore, when facing choices, not that we don’t know how to choose, but, we are not willing to give up.
The fourth reason why we unable to choose is that we are not willing to bear the potential responsibility. A deeper layer, why dare or unwilling to take on this potential responsibility? Because deep down in your heart, there is always a voice that will give you a judgment, a good and bad judgment.
That voice is there since you were young, while you're doing things, the judgment you bring to you has been following you all the time. Instantly as you grow up, this voice has been endogenous into a part of your life, and at the same time when you make your choices, it will always give you a judgment.
So, your choice is not based on the choice of the moment but based on satisfying someone or a situation in the past.
In fact, after writing so much, we are most concerned about how to spend the least amount of time and quickly make a favorable choice. I think that as long as we do the following things, our difficulties to make a choice will be greatly alleviated.
First of all, you need to be clear and be specific about your goals. We can use the current favorable means of communication to verify more information, to demonstrate your goals, to be clear and specific to the difficulties and risks you may predict. When this risk and feasibility reaches about 80% (nothing can maximize the benefits of 100%), or to the extent that you can accept, you have to firmly believe that your goals are feasible and you will unswervingly carry out.
Second, instead of staring at the goal, focus on the process and focus on solving the problem. One of the reasons for suffering is that we look at the goal too importantly, always fluctuate our mood because of that "flickering" goal. When we let go of our obsession with our goals, focus on the process of achieving them, and enjoy the current process of overcoming difficulties and approaching them, the process itself is a reward for our efforts and dedication.
And every road in the world, as long as we walk it with all our heart, the results will not be too bad. We need to try our best to bring a road to an end before we know if it is right.
Some people say that when Edison was inventing the electric light material, he failed more than 1000 times. But Edison said, "I did not fail more than 1000 times, but through experiments, I know that these more than 1000 kinds of materials are not suitable for the light bulb."
So, staying on the imaginary level, the problem is always more than difficult. Only by action is the cure for the difficulty to make a choice.
Posted from my blog with SteemPress : http://walkinharmony.vornix.blog/2019/01/17/if-you-cant-decide-just-remember-these-two-things/
I think that the reason so many struggle with making decisions is because they are used to having their choices made for them. Extended adolescence has made people in their 20s hesitant about their choices. Not a good sign for the future.
As I face it in my life, and according to my personal perception, there is only one choice for me, doing the right thing or doing the wrong thing. The problem is in discovering what is right, once you know it, the decession should be easy, although it is not, many times our desires get in the way, on those occasions, I try to put aside my own interests and Doing the right thing, I do not always get it, but I try.