How to STOP Comparing Yourself: Living Life On Purpose

in #life3 years ago

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I struggled with this the most in my childhood to early adult life. I would compare myself to others whether it was in school, sports, or what I considered were the ideals standard of beauty. As I got older, it morphed into other metrics such as job title, income levels, and other worldly successes. I quickly discovered there are an infinite number of categories upon which one can compare themselves and an infinite number of people to compare ourselves to. The tendency to compare ourselves is a decision that robs us from experiencing joy in our lives!

We ought to strive to be the best version of ourselves, not only for our own selves, but additionally for the benefit and contributions that we can offer to others. Many times when we compare ourselves to others, it is because we are blocked from seeing the value and worth of ourselves due to experiencing some form of trauma in our lives. These traumas then create energy blockages in our lives that can manifest itself physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. While the struggle is real, it does not have to be any longer. There is freedom in living a life without comparison! Are you looking to clear away blockages in your manifesting or looking to learn more on how to consciously apply the #LawOfAttraction?

Here are some insight as to what has helped me along in my journey.

  1. Realize that comparisons do not tell the whole story.
    This was an "aha" moment for me when I realized how comparing or judging my "best" or "worst" to someone else's "best" or "worst" journey did not compare to each other. For example, comparing my beginning stages to someone who is either in the middle or last stage does not measure up to each other.

  2. Comparing wastes precious time
    I would spend so much time in comparing myself to others, I literally would send hours going through people's social media pages and fantasize about living what I presumed to be the "perfect life". I was wasting so much time, And so are you if you are constantly refreshing your news feed to catch a glipmse of someone else's life. That time I was surfing the wb and Insta'stalking, LOL, could have been wisely spent cultivating that skill in me that I had admired in someone else. You see, comparing yourself to someone else shifts the mind away from yourself and productivity. When we focus on what someone else has or is doing, we limit ourself even more from spending time to do better, learn more, or aquire a skill. Take that energy and focus it on yourself and what you must do to be where you need or want to be. Keep your eyes on your lane, looking else where can cause you to trip an delay your process.

  3. Social Media is NOT your friend
    I shared how I use to spend hours looking through my news feed to fuel my inner critic on how much my life was "not up to par" as compared to the pictures and posts that my social groups were sharing. Do yourself a favor, #TurnOffYourDevice, or atleast shut it down for a while. Time is precious, ans instead of scrolling through hours of pictures and posts, that time can be used to focus on the present and do something for yourself or someone else that will actually matter. Work on self-improvement and cultivation. That is time well spent!

  4. Live a life of appreciation
    This is where counting your blessings come in to play. I would place so much of my energy and focus on what I did not have or what I felt I was lacking at that I failed to see what I actually did have. Becoming aware of the present and past blessings you have will show you how much you have really achieved and what you already possess. Not only was I grateful for all that I had overlooked in my life, I became more appreciative of what I had, how I could maximize on a current skill, and realize the many connections I could network within. Instead of looking at my "weaknesses" I geared my focus on my strengths and celebrated them. I actually gave myself a "pat on the back" and learned that while I desired more, I would not allow that to consume me anymore. I became "ok" with where I was at and focused on what I currently have to get me to where I wanted to be.

I learned that life has enough problems of its own and comparing ourselves devalues us and is not fair to your individual journey. It is imporatnt to be able to look at your own strengths and see your true value an worth can not be compared. This is the true measure of success, the ability to believe in yourself and set the standard for yourself to be the best you that you can be.

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Yap. I have done the same. Its funny though, my approach on steemit is that I'm reading and supporting others. Sometimes I wish i could be more successful. But I am me and doing things in my way-- as I am makes any small success meaningful. Especially in my process of loving my body and being ok with my financial status--- it can be daunting to see thin, rich, pretty, mentally wellbalanced women travelling and recieving love and respect. Esp on social media where everything is highly edited. But then, i dont edit everything. Anyway thanks for giving me thoughts!!

@limabeing I feel so blessed to know that my words of my journey gave you something to think about. I know as women it is constantly being projected on us to compare ourselves on many different levels. Taking time away to appreciate what we offer, just the way we are, is the first step of acceptance and recieving. I now for me I tried to hide behind the aspect of being overtly caring and helpful to others, whether it was appreicated or not (mostly not), just so that I would not have to look at my own self. I have come a long way, and still have much ore to learn about myself and the many different layers that are me. Thank you for taking time and reading my post. #TeamGirlPowa #BoomChickaWaWa LOL

💯 Truth have been spoken! @tyebrooks this a very valuable message and I appreciate the time and energy it took to bring it forth!! Many things come to play on the reasons why we feel the need to compare ourselves, however what I appreciate from this post is the solution you offer to hopefully break this cycle.

Also love the the name of the servers you have listed above. I have to come thru and check it out!!

@the21plus Thank you for taking time in reading my post. I think its best to share these types of encouraging personal stories as they can inspire someone else. I have always tried to seek practical solutions for problems or concerns I may have; so when I find something that worked for me, I share it as much as possible. Also, I sent you the links for the servers, look forward to connecting with you there too!

Thanks for this post, when i first got on steemit i was caught up in comparing myself with other posts that got a lot of attention and pay outs, i spent time admiring them and wanting to be them so bad, this is not entirely wrong, but my motive was. I wanted to become them as quickly as possible, i was completely oblivious to the fact that building is a process and it takes time, i have had times in my past where i compared myself to my immediate friends, but it did me no good, but the one here has been my most recent. I have also learnt that life has its problems of its own as you have said and to be honest, everyone has their own share. Life is crazy we learn everyday. Thanks for the post again cheers

Thank you for reading my post. I hope to spread inspiration and share my experiences to give someone a practical solution to whatever the situation they may have.

This is absolutely essential and compassionately put. Excellent post!

thanks @tyebrooks for this. The fact that we are taught to be competitive with others almost from birth in this culture makes it difficult to 'unhook' from this thought pattern and as you mention most social media fuels this toxicity within us. We need these reminders such as you give in this article...

Thank you for your comment and insight, "unhooking from this thought patterns" this statement speaks volumes. It is so important to check our though and behavior patterns, for these could be the very thing that is attaching us to toxicity. Stepping away and reconciling the pieces of the self; sort of like having a Michael Jackson Man in the Mirror moment.

that's the only way I know how to evole--self reflection and being Mother Kali-like in stripping away, once I understand what is happening

You are spot on. Happiness has to come from within. I think it's especially important not to compare our material wealth and possessions with that of others. It's hard, because we live in a society that places so much emphasis on shiny things.

And of course, the big issue with this is that there will always be someone who has more than you, so it a comparison that you will always fail.

Terrific blog. I look forward to the next one!

Thank you @marbaker, you are so correct, society norms and the emphasis of materialism makes it difficult to break away from not comparing ourselves. Like you stated "there will always be someone who has more than you, so it a comparison that you will always fail", hopefully this will make some feel comfortable in knowing that comparing one's self is not worth it. I will always have something that someone else may not have, and there will always be something that someone else possess that I may not.

You know, it is also that our consumerist society makes us value ourselves by the shiny things that we own. Not got the latest iphone? You're lacking. You are a lesser person. And of course, it can take less than a year for the new iphone to be the old iphone. We need to free ourselves from these material shackles. We should not judge ourselves, or others, on what is owned.

It is who we are, and how we live our lives that really matters.

Maybe we should also have #teamboypowa haha. Truth be told. Comparing oneself or one's strength with that of others is futile. We all are uniquely packaged for the purpose for which we were created. We are distinct lookalikes. We need each other to play our individual roles. And if anyone tries to mimick the next person, he loses his beauty and individuality. God is beautiful and we are also but only when we resume our roles and start to act in the capacity unique to us. Thanks for sharing. I love your page.

Personally i fully encourage boypowa as girlpowa is not only about empowerment but acceptance of adulthood with a youthful spirit and energy. We often say girl powa is somwhere between riotgrrrl and hey girl! I fully believe that men embracing their inner child and challenging stereotypes is a positive concept and supports our work.

@limabeing I am all about inner child healing and work. There is where we find our truest and most authentic selves.

Good to know. I would be looking at #TeamBoyPowa soon.. have some project on my plate to enjoy for now. Awesome view you have here.

Hey @andreyyte, maybe you should start a #teamBoyPowa :grinning: I agree with you that comparing our selves to someone else's precieved stregnth does us no good. Additionally, I believe that children should be taught to look within themselves and be assisted in finding what makes them unique and cultivate that part of them. I know in my experience, I was not cultivated in my gifts or talents as much during my childhood. I can now see how that affected me in develpomental years to early adult life. There are many factors that can be applied to assist children in not falling victim to the Art of Comparisons, if I may say so.

Yeah. The Art Of Comparison. Children never get taught because parents when they were kids, never got taught. Hopefully our generation can rewrite the reality.

I have faith that the generation coming will have a better experience because there are so many like you and I who see the missteps and taking action to course correct. I’m quite hopeful that there will be more loving and compassionate people due to the changes we are making. What a great time to be alive!

Yeah really a great time. More knowledge is being circulated and people are getting it right from their youth. That can help impact the next generation positively. Thanks.

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