Zen and the Art of Not Giving a F#ck

in life •  3 years ago

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“I was a victim of my own success. But then I began to realize that I didn’t fit. Here’s what I was missing:

I was missing who I was.

I began with a dream of being Danny K, which is a very mainstream dream. It’s very middle America, it’s a people pleaser's job. And I dreamed a path that was traditional, disk-jockey-comedian-actor, big success.

A mainstream dream.

Meanwhile what I really was, I was an outlaw and a rebel, that’s who I was.

I had great marks, I was a smart kid but I didn’t care. They didn’t wanna teach me what I wanted to learn, so I didn’t give a shit.

It’s important in life to not give a shit sometimes, that can help you a lot.” ― George Carlin

It's a Crazy, Crazy World

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Sometimes it seems that we do everything backwards, that many things that we are taught by television, school, or even by our parents are the exact opposite of what they should be.

It seems to me, and maybe to you too that the people who loves us and who we love in return, are often the ones we take the most for granted, and that the ones who care the least about us are the ones we spend the most attention on. Hell, some people even go out of their way to buy things they don’t need, with money they can’t afford to impress people they don’t even like.

And this strange phenomena is not exclusive to relationships, you can find the very same process taking place in every other aspect of life, even in our most desired dreams. Especially dreams.

There is a reason why people who are able to fulfill their dreams (inspiring us in the process) are more often than not considered crazy. At least before they achieving success

In case you’ve ever heard the expression: There’s a thin line between crazy and genius.

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Having been blessed/cursed with a curios mind, it occurred to me one day, that I should start searching for that particular thin line.

What I found out, and much to my surprise is that those geniuses were not crazy at all, at least not on surface. But what happened is that there were constantly seen as strange and peculiar individuals until they became famous and gained recognition. Funny how fast labels can change.

So when does the crazy part come in?

Here’s the thing, if you want to achieve massive success, then you'd have to make a lot good choices right? And somewhere along the road, you will be asked to make important decisions.

Decisions that may shape your outcome in one way or another.

One of the best ways to ensure that you’re making the right choices is to remove all the fluff that’s impairing your judgment.

You see, many of those geniuses tend to take all the other aspects that stand in between them and their goals, and completely remove those from their lives. While that can dramatically increase their chance of success, it could also contribute in getting them seen as obsessive and crazy in the eyes of society.

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Take “True Detective” for example, a television series that many critics agree belongs among the best in history. Some of them even go further and claim that no other show has ever elevated cinema as much as Pizzolatto’s subversive chef d’oeuvre did.

Bold claims right?

Contrary as many people believe, Nic didn’t write that masterpiece while sipping Mojitos in Cancun, watching spring breakers dancing their stress away along the pearly sands. What he did is that he isolated himself in his garage and worked there for an entire year.

Even his walls were decorated with post-me notes to re-arrange the scenes, create open-loops..etc. He breathed the story that has blown our socks away.

Embracing the Chaos

Have you stumbled on his wife opening the garage door and seen him working his ass off, you’d think he was just another crazy person, would you not?

Obsessive, compulsive, over the top... These are the thoughts that would’ve probably crossed your mind.

Fast forward HBO… This guy is a fucking genius!

Of course there is an entire industry based on selling people bullet-proof plans to “Grab” the life of their dreams with no effort, no sweat, no financial advice of any sort.

All you have to do is to spend your time wishing, hoping, magnetizing and whatever jargon term they can sell you for $499. Limited offer of course.

If that was the case, why do you even need me to buy your courses? Just magnetize that shit for yourself and you’ll get a much higher return than you’ll ever get from me.

I said there's a thin line between genius and crazy, not that you should cross the crazy line and fly over the cuckoo’s nest. But I’m digressing.

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Let me give you another example, The Walking Dead, arguably the most successful television series in the world.

That didn’t happen by surprise either. Robert Kirkman also isolated himself from everything that was standing between him and his dream when he was creating the series. Again, if you’d seen him working then you’d think he was crazy, obsessive and all that jazz.

Are you beginning to see a pattern here?

These people became successful partly as a consequence of eliminating all that fluff that was standing between them and their dreams.

Can you imagine writing the most successful comic in the world, while watching entire seasons of Lost, spending 5 hours a day arguing with trolls on the internet and focusing on all the unnecessary things? No.

What he did, what many people do, is to pull a Charles Bukowski, find what they love and let it kill them, metaphorically speaking.

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Now, keep in mind that not everybody is the same. Some people cannot live without some sort of balance in their lives, so there is no way in hell that they can embrace the chaos the same way many artists do.

I know (mostly know of) some writers and actors that prefer to have some hours a day for sports, and for social relationships, etcetera... They schedule moments for different parts of the day.

But then when it comes to immersing themselves in their jobs, they don’t go anywhere near Facebook.

And the reason behind that is very simple. In order to produce your most brilliant work, you have to give it the most attention that you can spare, all your passion, your creativity, your drive…

You can’t do that if you’re spending two fucks worrying about Facebook notifications, three fucks about who disagreed with you in the comments, five fucks spent on that driver that flipped you the bird, six fucks about Jon Snow having sex with his sister…

Before you know it, you’re all out of fucks.

Now what do you do? You’re all tired and grumpy. You keep complaining about everything and transfer your frustration into all the wrong channels… Life would be so much easier if you didn’t give a fuck about things that had no incidence on your life and which sole purpose was to distract you anyways.

Of course this is much easier said than done.

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In a way, life is like a poker game. The number one reason why people fail is because of innefective bankroll management. They spend their precious chips on poor decisions that were made from an emotional standpoint to start with. And as the stakes go higher, they suddenly find themselves in a disadvantageous position with a depleting stack while having to make the most important decisions under duress.

Now just imagine that life is the game and fucks are the poker chips. Maybe it's better to spend them wisely.

Closing Thoughts

Closing the loop, it’s important in life to not give a fuck as the genius comedian George Carlin suggested in the beginning of the story. That way at least, you’ll be able to give all your attention to the things that really matter in your life.

“There will be a few times in your life when all your instincts will tell you to do something, something that defies logic, upsets your plans, and may seem crazy to others.

When that happens, you do it.” ― Judith McNaught, Remember When

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Holy Fuck, McFuckeroo.. you hit every fucking point in my life for the past 4 years dude...
Let me share this video with you that I posted 4 years ago.. almost to the day well a month off... My grandma, who I was very close to... was dying of leukemia and we as a family were preparing for her passing.

This was a couple months after I just wrapped up shooting my first BIG film production B.O.O.S.T.

To come back home and tell my grandma how fun it was and celebrate how big of a leap my career had taken was a blessing.. but it also hurt the moment she asked when she could see it. Post production was going to take a year at least and the film wouldn't be fully ready for a year and a half... We were already planning her funeral.

So I made this video as a message to myself.. and maybe it was also a message to all my friends and family. This message pretty much said.. FUCK EVERYBODY.. FUCK GOD, CANCER AND ANYBODY WHO DOUBTED ME. My Grandma is about to pass and when she does... I'm going to focus on ME and it will be my form of grieving.. SO I DID, here we are 4 years later. I'm on a hit TV show.. exactly what you wrote @the-alien

The past 4 years have been ugly and brutal.. I've shut myself off from everybody and started producing videos as if it were a drug.. Just look at my Youtube page and see how active I became this time, 4 years ago.. compare it with my IMDB page and you will see the correlation of success I have experienced since that time... Thanks for posting this. I needed a reminder and considering the fact that my sons grandpa just passed away this past weekend.. This kinda seems like I was meant to read this as a message from somebody up above.

Here is a video montage I made of my Grandma Eva for her funeral that shows a beautiful life and how much she influenced my choices up to and after her passing.

Rest In Peace Grandma... I miss you and yes, I got the message from @the-alien


First of all I'm really sorry for your Grandma man! I"m sure she loved you as much as you love her or more.

The second thing is wow man! That was like synchronicity. It is what it is, over the top? Maybe but I don't care. Spot on!

I will make sure to follow your Youtube channel and see what you're up to on Imdb. I wish you all the luck, and I'm sure that you'll make it!

Embrace it!

You got this man!


Thank you for the condolences but I feel like my Grandma has really helped me beyond her lifetime and has influenced a lot of positive things my way.

WOWZA... here you go, for reference



That's pretty cool - the videos I mean. Sorry to hear about your grandmother passing. Must be weird to see her as a little girl in the montage.


Thanks @thecryptofiend for the condolences and everything else.. but as I mention above.. you can compare the times from 4 years ago on my IMDB and see how my career has sky rocket to where I am now as a Professional actor and filmmaker.

I shut myself off and pretty much said FUCK YOU TO EVERYBODY in my life.. Focused on me and taking care of my son. It's all in my Youtube and IMDB.. the videos I added above were only the beginning of EVERYTHING I have accomplished since. CRAZY, huh?


Makes sense though given what we have been talking about. I'm glad it worked for you.


Dude, it's crazy reading what seems like a review of your life... I just shared this post of yours on my facebook @the-alien lol.. I'll probably regret it later.. BUT IDGAF

I haven't been too active on there anyway because I've been making good shit on here.. getting better, working on my craft as a filmmaker and using that to influence my acting, HAH

all I gotta say is.. if you ain't following me already... YOUR MISSING OUT on some epic shxx I have up in this crazy brain.


IDGAF ...i give an upvote! Lol


Thank you @royaltiffany! Love the acronym :)

Bravo alien. As always, your storied keep me on my toes. That needs to be a book I carry around with me everywhere. And the pictures were perfect. I have learned to ask myself what the worst thing is that could happen when I'm worried about something not going as panned. The real answer It's never as bad as I think.


Thank you I love yours too! Haha I will publish the book in fact, "born out of steem" I think I'll call it, but not fixed on the title yet.. Short steemit stories. I will send you a free copy of course!

About the question "what's the worse that can happen?" Have you heard of the book of seneca? Letters from Stoic?

It has the same philosophy and I think you will love it :)

Great Post - well written! I love the TV show examples - everyone can relate to those :)


Thank you! I'm glad that you liked it :) I tried to give famous examples :)

FACT: "Scientists have proven that the average human being gives 60% too much of a fuck about most daily activities"



If I could give you 10 grand for this post, I would. Probably the best post I've seen on here so far. I love how you brought up George Carlin & Friedrich Nietzsche - my favourite comedian & philosopher :D
This was perfect - "What he did, what many people do, is to pull a Charles Bukowski, find what they love and let it kill them, metaphorically speaking."


Thank you for the awesome compliment! I'm happy you liked it!

Awesome piece. I'm considered eccentric by my family because I have been single my entire life and I ride all over NYC on my mountain bike, I'm 49. I'm a chillout artist, writer and on a the hunt for a younger man (who I found). I don't give a sweet fuck who thinks what about what I do and they have learned to embrace and gasp even accept me. Very religious Dominican family. They are cute though :)

As far as balance, I have to have it. When it's flowing I can go, an go and go for instance when I'm writing music. But when my body and mind says BREAK. I'm on my bike. Most likely on the way to the beach.


Yeah the beach has some relaxing elements :) And you're right, date who you want and do who you want, if he's younger so what? You can't please everyone, especially since people focus on unnecessary things like age difference and similar stuff. At least they're cute :)

And glad they accepted you as you are :)

What you say is so true. Those who achieved success done it through isolation and focus. Unfortunately, not all who isolated themselves and focussed achieved success. But if you don't do it, you will surely not reach anything. Thanks for the inspiration. Always great to read your blogs.


You're absolutely right, it doesn't guarantee success, because there are no guarantees.

But at least it removes a lot of stones that were standing in the way. Plus, as I mentioned, it's not for everyone. Some people prefer balance and everyone should bet on their strengths :)

Thanks for the comment once again, and I'm really glad you like my posts!


Thats actually not true. Some of the best authors wrote their works while in the situation, not isolated in a cabin. Einstein completed his greatest works while working as a patent clerk. The idea that you just need to get out into isolation and you'll make something great is a famous wanna-be author fallacy. In fact, if you read much literature related to the creation of novels, they debunk this idea repeatedly.

Being isolated can help you focus, but if you really have the drive and that perfect idea, it won't matter if you're alone or in a crowd, you'll be focused on it.


I don't disagree, some of the best wrote it in the bathroom even. And some wrote it as in this case exactly as written above. One in the garage, and one in his home.

Fallacy is just a fancy word with bad intentions. I never and will ever say "ALL" writers did that because the world doesn't work that way. I even went on and gave a whole chapter about the other writers that don't do the same :) Haha

No fallacies dude, just chill... Maybe you should do like I do and not give a fuck ;)

Sending you a hug either way.

I love musings about the crazy-genius link; finding the sweeeeet spot and not romanticizing the crazy too much, is not an easy task to take lightly...hmm.


Happy you enjoyed it :)

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There is a line that goes through all article, as I see it - the concept of "normal" is very blurred, and same with a "genious".
This terms are often manipulated, and it may seems unfair, but guess what


haha! I love the drawing! Did you make it?

It's true it's blurred. Hmmm, now I have a song stuck in my head... blurred lines lol!


no, it's not mine, it just fits right:)


Yeah it does :)

I am in love with your posts and I would LOOOVE if you joined our #steemitwriteoff. Check out the details or upvote to support the writers @ https://steemit.com/steemitwriteoff/@truthmomma/steemit-write-off-1-theme-announcement-or-aug-18-22 . Winners take all Steem Dollars earned as well as money from donations!


Of course, it will be my pleasure :) I will check out the details tonight and will submit before the 22.. But if by any chance I were to win, don't send it to me, please use it to buy candy or toys to kids :)

Thanks you for the nice comment and I'm glad that you like it!


I feel the same way! I think the more we post, the more confident we will feel about our writing identity!