Why I Say No To Negative People!steemCreated with Sketch.

in life •  last year

Even though I never had much while growing up, I always considered myself fortunate. I always thought life played by my rules and in many ways it did.

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I still remember how I used to write jokes and tell them to my grandmother. I was around 11 years old. And she was in her 90s.

Every day after coming back home from school, she told me she was in pain. Then I used my tiny hands to press her arms and legs. It reduced her pain, she said. It was then I told her my mediocre jokes.

I have to admit:

Hearing my jokes?

My grandmother went nuts. She laughed way too much. And she couldn't control it. :)

To see a smile on her face made me happy. In my mind, I was always seeking fresh jokes. I started watching comedy shows. Asked my friends. Neighbors. And even landlord. For more jokes.

Yet, in between all this, there's something that I missed:

My grandmother always encouraged me. She told me how the mole on my chest makes me, umm, special. And how it is a sign of greatness. It was as if I was destined for a bright future.

At that point, I was very young to even question that.

I simply took her suggestions.

Over the years, everything she said has changed my life. I am fortunate to be self-employed since the age of 16. I am fortunate to work with great people. I am fortunate to support my family. And I am fortunate to witness life differently.

And then there's the other side.

The other side of me meeting a tiny percentage of folks who tried to bring me down. I don't know why but they didn't want me to succeed. Something felt off about them.

Yet luckily, I learned to move away from these people. I said NO to them. And I designed my own path to success while doing so.

Here's why I say NO to these negative people:

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1. They discourage you

No matter the circumstances, this world offers equal opportunities to anyone who wish to upgrade themselves. These negative people see it differently:

They NEVER try. And they NEVER let you try.

Which means they discourage you from moving forward. They don't see the world like you. They don't see the endless opportunities this world presents to you.

Then they judge you before you even try. They question you. And never miss the opportunity to discourage you further.

Why?

Because...

2. Most of them never live with hope

They live with fear.

As I grow older, I see fear is the easiest path to mediocrity. And most people love mediocrity.

I have found negative people support you less and less with time. They don't like the changes in their own lives. And they don't want you to change. In fact, they turn against you as you change.

And the worst part?

These people can be often found in your own circle — perhaps among your friends and, unfortunately, among your family too.

3. They look into the past to see what's worse

Do you know anyone who is always complaining? Perhaps someone around you that never says "I feel freakin' good." Instead they dive into their past and looks into their problems?

If you think about it, you will see our past can both be our enemy and friend. It can teach us many things. Yet these negative people see past for what's worse... to establish their present.

With all these happening inside their head, forget the future. They never think about it.

Which brings us to the next question:

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What if these negative people are saying all this for your own good?

And worst of all:

What if they are RIGHT?

This is a very important point I wish to address. Some of these negative people are criticizers. Some deluded. Some jealous. Some plain negative. And others a mix of all.

This is where YOU play a crucial role.

You have the choice to do what's right.

It is YOU who has to make informed decisions. You have that golden key of decision making with you. So if they offer you any advice — see through their advice.

Question this advice.

Look beyond it.

Question the person offering you this advice.

And then you make your own decision because, ultimately, as always, the choice is with you.

With that said, here are a couple of choices that already exists.

How to Deal With Negative People

Last year, I disconnected with 4 people. It was tough the first time I did it because I never say goodbye easily. Here's how to do it:

1 Disconnect

Just stop them from entering your life.

Tell these negative people you longer wish to connect with them.

Just disconnect. It's that simple.

Remember: This is your life. As, if you read my previous post, you will know your time is valuable. So there's more to life than engaging in useless argument with negative people.

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2. Be the best version of yourself

Everyone in the room are happy to sit and judge you. That's how most people are.

I firmly believe your job is NEVER to prove them they are wrong.

You job, in fact, is to be the best version of yourself. You have to keep pushing if you wish to. You have to keep moving forward if you wish to. Just do what you want to do.

That's all there is to life.

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(A note I wrote to myself in 2013. I used to read this out loud everyday. I have more. And I will show you why I do this. Perhaps in another article).

Every time you believe in yourself, and make your own decisions, and live by it?

You will feel good.

And, as you will notice for yourself, some of these negative people who try to discourage you will change their opinion about you. They wish to take credit for your growth.

But that's an added bonus.

Just be yourself and believe in yourself.

3. Seek Success

Another way of saying:

Chase your dreams.

Perhaps you wanted freedom. More wealth. Or more peace.

Anything it is, the moment your direct your mind towards your dreams, you are walking in the right direction.

Then all that there is left is execution.

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Always seek success. And create your own definition of success.

4. Surround yourself with awesome people

Most never get this.

Look for people with common interest.

Bond over these common interest.

That's how you make friends. Awesome friends.

It's a beautiful world out there with beautiful people, so enjoy your time here!

As I always say:

HAVE FUN! :)

It's that simple, isn't it?

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Conclusion

Your deserve every inch of happiness there exists in this world. So you can either live with negative people and let them burden you...

Or simply make the right choice. I hope and pray you make the right choice.

Because a simple decision here can lead to miracles.

With that said, what is it that you did to remove negativity out of your life?

How did you evolve?

And what are the things you are doing right now to make your life better?

It's almost 4 AM as I write this yet I wish to hear your thoughts. Do let me know through the comments below! :)

Cheers,
Sid

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Oh man. This had me in splits. :D

To everyone ELSE reading this: the context was that I spent 6 hours to write this post, and in the chat room I was saying how it would be a wonderful idea if people read this and upvoted the post for more visibility.

And here comes @Chetwithersby dropping this graph and all of us had a great laugh! :D

It wasn't just 6 hours but a lifetime of experience that comes with this post. And I really really hope even if it impacts one person, and helps them move towards their goal, my job is done.

Thank you for posting this comment here and making a lot of people laugh! :D

Including my mom, who absolutely agrees with you! :D

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Good fun! You're a cool dude.

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Yes indeed he is because I am still reading all of those vibrating stories.
My apology that I don't comment yet.
My resteem says thousand words more.

Congrats you have been selected as Author of the day by the Steemvoter (SV) Guild, keep up the good work and helping make Steem great!

Note: You should receive many guild votes in an hour or so, enjoy!

Heck yeah - like the saying goes "you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with" so make sure that time counts.

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What a lovely saying! And so damn true. :)

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We are going to the ALPS :D

beautiful post my friend! big upvote and following, will check out more of your posts now ;)

This is the best lesson you can learn in life. People can go through a difficult time and you can support them as needed. Once the complaining becomes permanent I'm outta there!

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Good post :D this makes me want to more in life. Resteemed

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Thank you so much!

This made my day! You are already a super-star and super-nice guy.

All there is left is executing your goals.

Like I said, I am rooting for you. We both are getting Ferraris soon! :D

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WOOT! We are superstars
See you in Switzerland next year!!!
hahaha Ferraris :D

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Hi Yusaymon, I truly appreciate your comment. I have followed you back! Can't wait to learn more about you and wish you all the best.

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Thank you! Always appreciate your comment Moon man! :)

I have been struggling for years with negative thoughts. I used to defend them by saying I was just being realistic. I still think to a degree using caution and using sense can be performed without being negative.

I will say this though, It is amazing how negative thoughts bring on more negativity. It is true. It happens.

But when you're life turns negative it's rough to be able to make it positive again. So you get stuck in a rut..

I would be very interested in hearing your thoughts on how to get OUT of the rut once you are in it.

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I still think to a degree using caution and using sense can be performed without being negative.

You are right about this.

But when you're life turns negative it's rough to be able to make it positive again. So you get stuck in a rut.. I would be very interested in hearing your thoughts on how to get OUT of the rut once you are in it.

I used to test people who went into depression. I used to test people caught in their old lives, and never saw hopes. It was merely because of my interest in hypnotism and hypnotherapy. To this day, I find the subject fascinating, which is why this topic is close to my heart.

But seeing problems from a distance made no sense. And given time was always on my side, I decided to even hit rock bottom. Everything I believed in was questioned. Everything I stood for was questioned. And I became the opposite of who I was.

It had taught me many valuable lessons than this comment could handle. I wish to share everything in the future.

In short:

It's easy to get stuck in the rut. It is easy to contemplate. It is easy to go back to the past. Question is, what's not easy? Ask. And pursue that.

This is where purpose plays a vital role. If you have to seek something, you might as well seek pleasure, isn't it?

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I like your logic here

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Recognizing it's a problem is the first step! It's also important to realize a lot of people get stuck in negative banter because they just don't know what else to talk about. I have 2 friends who love to talk shit. I made an effort to try and steer our conversations in positive directions. One of them it was easy....the other, eventually I felt like he was just becoming a downer for me. I'll still respond to him if he wants to find me but I don't make the same effort with him anymore.

Another method is framing. You can change a whole situation simply by how you frame it. I was sick for 2 years. It's easy to treat that as 2 years wasted but I always thought of how much I learned during that time, how I faced my fear of death and developed a whole new way of seeing life and in focusing on that I've had so many positive experiences that I wouldn't have had with a victim mentality.

You can also focus on how connected we are. How we become happier when we make others happier. This makes it easier to avoid seeing others as enemies and it's damn true too.

YES!
I call these negative people users of the other EMF - Emotionally Manipulative Frequency .

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EMF - Emotionally Manipulative Frequency

How true. And a perfect description! One that I will remember moving forward.

No more EMFs!

Very true! Thanks for the insight on providng a post that provides resources for me to improve my life as well. :)

Not meant to challenge you, but someone who's always happy and positive can feel a bit creepy. Also, I believe its healthy to have a few negative people in your life because life will never always be on your side. There will be days that you will feel down and angry at external/environmental factors that you have little to no control over (i.e. your favorite football team always losing, or your presidential candidate losing horribly). These such days a negative person can counter your negative feeling and make it better. A negative X a negative = a positive.

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Nice read and an excellent post! keep them coming buddy!

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Thank you Uday! Really appreciate your comment and constant support bud! Keep it coming! :)

i try hard to be positive, but i live with chronic pain and sometimes i just wanna whine about it. Just pass me a packed bong and tell me to shut up...okay???

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Don't have to be positive. It is merely about finding your own path. A lot of people do smoke and enjoy life. :D

So that's all good.

Matter of asking: If I am not feeling good, what should I do to feel good.

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I wish I knew. I've been in a miserable funk for over a month, barely doing anything besides work, giving minimal effort to things that should make life great. I think discovering this sight is the beginning to an end. I woke up excited to see what all happened over night!

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So what do you like the most? What gives you more pleasure?

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Painting, which I haven't done in a month because I haven't felt it. Attending live music events. Gardening, but it's hanged since my back surgery, no more major digging or hauling heavy sacks of materials, basically I just weed around the flowers I have, enjoying what I made before my body turned traitor. Hiking, again, greatly curtailed. I have to enjoy the beauty of the picnic grounds, walk the short tour to the historic logging mill or whatever and wait for my son to come back with photos from the summit because it hurts too much to walk all those miles and scramble up those rocks. And I live right next to the Appalachian trail, near some of the greatest scenic state parks and recreational areas in Virginia.

certainly true, and that's why it's wonderful here on steemit because it's usually a bunch of positive people trying to build and grow a remarkable community. good one sid.

@sidwrites
I am intrigued by your post because this has been something that I've dealt on a personal level. Sometimes I have a difficult time saying no but I need to learn to do that more. Negative people can be very draining and it can almost make you physically sick when you hear their rhetoric. I think it's important to surround ourselves with positive people.
Thanks for your post! :)

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Sometimes I have a difficult time saying no but I need to learn to do that more.

It is a matter of time. If these people don't go away, and you don't feel good about it, you will naturally see saying NO as a solution. Just don't spend lifetime over it.

Faster you do, better it gets.

I think it's important to surround ourselves with positive people.

Absolutely. When that happens, life gets more interesting and fun! :)

Thank you for your consistent support and comments. I truly appreciate it.

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@sidwrites
Very well said and I will take that advice to heart! You're welcome and I'm happy to read your insightful posts!

This is such an awesome post. It really hits a nerve if not many. First of all :
Sometimes it is very hard to admit that the negative person holding you back is someone very close to you. What do you do it's your mom for example? - that's something I struggle with right now.
And secondly : chase your dreams is very great advice. The step before that is to have them and not to have them erased by negative people without realizing. I might blog about this tomorrow.

If only everyone shared love and support so freely the way your grandmother did. I'm happy to engage anyone that wants to sit in my court. But if they want me to sit in their court, then everything you said.

habit is destiny! That phrase is absolutely mind blowing. I love it. Thanks for sharing @sidwrites

Excellent post! You were doing Reiki on your grandmother and probably didn't even realize it. The catalyst for me ridding myself of negative influences was care taking for my mother who suffered and then died over a year's time. As I watched her lie in her bed helpless, I thought to myself, "Why would anyone spend one second of their time ever doing anything that they didn't enjoy." And, that includes spending time with people who zap your energy. I'm condensing my story...But, we're not here to suffer and there is no reason to put up with negativity, narcissists, stressful situations, etc... Thank you. I really enjoyed your post.

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You were doing Reiki on your grandmother and probably didn't even realize it.

My mom was into Reiki for a couple of years when I was young. And you are right: what I did is perhaps a form of Reiki and but trust me I am terrible at it. :)

As I watched her lie in her bed helpless, I thought to myself, "Why would anyone spend one second of their time ever doing anything that they didn't enjoy."

Thought provoking. It's a question I ask all the time.

we're not here to suffer and there is no reason to put up with negativity, narcissists, stressful situations

So true. I guess most choose this path because they see no choices and no hopes. Life isn't what they imagined to be.

I am a hypnotherapy enthusiast and take pride in changing some of these people. But then there are extreme versions of it that have deeper scars and wish to live in the past, rather than the present, damaging themselves and the rest of the folks around them. For them, the answer is to experience life more.

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Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply.

I wish you a wonderful mood and a feeling of incredible happiness, good spirits and optimism of the soul, incredible inspiration and stunning ideas, great thoughts.

Great post and to many many many people so recognizable I am sure. To me too!

Smile - You don't own all the problems in the world

Upvoted and following. Have a nice day :)

great post. say no to -ve people

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Thank you Varun!

And YES to opportunities. :)

Great inspiring post, thank you! It can be hard to let go of people, even when you see they are not bringing you any good, you kind of feel like the bad one. But you are very right, it is the right thing to do if you want to move forward in life.

Great post! I call negative people energy drainers. By the time you have left their presence you are drained dry of all vitality.

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How true. "Energy drainers" they are. That's a very good way to put it.

Thank you!

Life is TOO short - to ever be negative! I have as close to nothing as a guy could have (barely a friend in this world) but I still love everyone and bite my tongue and do my best to treat all as I want to be treated. Live The Golden Rule always I say!
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I appreciate you!!!🤗🤗🤗

Hooked on to your posts! From the past hour, I've been reading all your posts from the first to the last. Keep writing such beautiful content man! Cheers! :D

Thank you. A lot of great advice.

OK. I've to confess : I love almost ALL your POSTs !
Thanks for sharing !!!!
I will follow you ! :-)
PS: from where are you in India ? I've lived in Pune for 3 months .....
And do you know "Let's make a Difference" an annual youth conference held at Asia Plateau, Panchgani ... ? You would love to volunteer there !