Image credit

Boundaries are very important to help protect and care for oneself. 

If you’re not getting the respect that you deserve, you might seriously need to take a look at your boundaries. But how far would you actually go...how far would you really go to achieve your goals?  What would you give up? (Or what would you possibly shove out of the way to get what you want?)

Boundaries define you as a person.  Without certain boundaries, you wouldn't know who you are, what you feel or even what you want.  Certain boundaries can help eliminate stress and possible conflict in your personal life.  

Boundaries are defined as

 a limit of a subject or sphere of activity."a community without class or political boundaries"synonyms:dividing line, divide, division, borderline, cutoff point More"the boundary between art and advertising"limits, parameters, bounds, confines; ambit, compass "the boundaries of acceptable behavior"

So how do you know if you need to set healthier boundaries?

                                               

                                                Image credit

Do you often tell people what to do, and warn them what will happen if they don't? Do you bring up the past often?  Do you often tell your partner what he/she did wrong? Do you give solutions to problems when people did not even know they had a problem in the first place?  Are you constantly preaching to people what they should or shouldn't do?  Do you criticize a lot?  Are you often miserable?  Do you send people on guilt trips?Do the behavior of others, influence your choices in life? Do you feel responsible for what others do?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions, you need to grab the drawing board and set some personal boundaries. 

Your behavior must match you boundaries

People often feel selfish, guilty and possibly embarrassed to set a boundary.  You can't establish a clear successful boundary if you send mixed messages.  You can't apologize all the time.  Remember the most important thing in life,  is to look after yourself.  You can not even begin to care for others, if you don't care about yourself.  

Anxiety and a low self-esteem prevents you from caring about yourself.  You need to listen to yourself.  Once you start listening to yourself, then you are ready to start communicating effectively and confidently.  To set boundaries, takes time.  It is a journey.  Set your own boundaries on your own time.  Get rid of the toxins in your life.  (Those people that abuse, manipulate and often control you.)

Types of personal boundaries

Emotional and Intellectual boundaries-

You can compare the lack of emotional and intellectual boundaries, by being caught in a blizzard without protection.  You leave yourself open to be affected by other people's words, thoughts and action, and might end up feeling shattered, wounded and bruised.  If this lack of boundary affects your beliefs, behavior, or sense of responsibility, then you need to set a clear boundary.  Do so firmly, but in as few words possible.  You do not have to apologize for your boundaries, just be respectful.  (If someone gets upset about it then it is their problem, not yours.) 

                                                                 

Physical boundaries

These boundaries include your body, your privacy and personal space.  If someone is telling you something but standing too close, you might have an immediate reaction to step back and claim back your personal space. If the person continues to come closer,  you are responsible to tell them how you feel. Everyone deserves their little place in the sun, so give others the respect that they need. 

                                                                   

                                                                          Image credit

People need to be aware of your boundaries      

1.  You need to be clear on you boundaries and things you don't like.  Say something like "I don't like people standing close to me.  I feel violated, please do not touch me." 

2. Make sure people know the consequences of overstepping your boundaries.  If they are not aware, they will continue to push your limits, until the situation gets out of control. Possible consequences may include walking away in the middle of a conversation, or you might refuse to answer the question asked.  

3. Re-evaluate your friendships/relationship. Ask yourself questions like  Why are you in your current relationship?  Can you live without this person or do you need them in your life?  What are you getting from this friend/relationship?  If you have clarity on this, then  decrease the time spend with that person or even cut them out of your lives. 

STAND YOUR GROUND- Stick to your decisions.  Do not slip.  The second you slip, someone will come swooping in and mess up your life again.  

                                                           

                                                           Image credit

 

 I am totally up for a good debate.  Please comment.   Thanks for reading. 

❤ Keep on Steeming ❤