The Onion Man - A Dissertation On Filters And Honesty - (An Original Thought)
And the one I want to share with you today is called "The Onion Man". Put simply the onion man is the layers we wear. And unfortunately in some respects we HAVE to wear this shroud upon our innermost energy because it's just too powerful for others to deal with seeing the pure naked truth of a person.
Unfortunately I believe that misrepresenting yourself is fundamentally an self-sabotaging act, even if by that misrepresentation you are avoiding someone a momentary pain.
Drop the filters guys, be open and honest with one another.
Turning your back on or hiding your thoughts/feelings under a candy coating to make it more palatable to the others is censorship of who you really are, and you will ultimately only damage yourself if continuing in this mode of operation.
Honesty is the best policy.
But remember, there is such a thing as constructive criticism and going around telling everyone exactly what you think of them is imposition and should perhaps be avoided, understanding and being considerate of another even if you think they are wrong is a part of loving and accepting one another, but that is a topic for another day.
I would love to hear what you think of the onion man, have no fear, drop the filters, and really express yourself.
I think you are referring to getting to the core of our inner-self? I've tried for many many years in my soul journey - it's not easy at all. But once you tap into the core, there's a abundant power and energy - this is truely magical and it will take you far! I've recently written a post called my little soul tale sort of explain some of it.
Yes, you are exactly right. Past the ego and everything else. It is a frightening journey to get there, but very empowering indeed. Learning always is. Thank you for your comment <3
Thank you for your thought provoking post.
It is a great analogy. I have to wear layers. In my job, when I am around people I don't know. Unfortunately it feels like life is built to wear layers.
My closest friends and family don't see the layers and sometimes when I feel I can, you can lose some of the layers and let the real you come out.
It asks some interesting questions....
Empowering for sure. I like to be as direct and honest as possible, otherwise there is a feeling like I'm being disingenuous. But yes, particularly in a job we have to layer up to get by. Unfortunate.
I agree, being your truest self is the most important. I try to make sure everyone knows with me, what you see is what you get, no ulterior motives or hiding myself. The only caveat to that is when you know that being yourself or letting out your true emotions can hurt you more than help you. There are times that I would love to just let out how exactly I feel about something or someone, but the time and the place aren't appropriate, and the reaction I would receive would do more damage to me, my reputation, and a lot of what I have worked for and hold important to me. So the occasional layer is a good thing in my opinion.
Timing is indeed a very important part of any performance.
Thank you for your detailed response, very thought provoking.
I believe it is best to go with balance, consideration, acceptance, and as little to no expectations as possible.
My self ends at the reach of my arms, so why should my expectations go any further than this? getting angry/frusterated at anothers choices is indeed a choice of my own, so the fault lies with me at that point.
Such layers upon layers. Very onion! haha
You are completely right. Outside of us there is no control, only the reactions to our actions. Something to be cognizant of at all times...not to self censor necessarily, just to self-monitor.
Insightful. Thanks for sharing <3
Lets be real man, we could probably do a pretty successful podcast.. xD
Perhaps... ponders
raises eyebrows
Nice post.
Spend too much time playing the onion man and one can become fundamentally disconnected from the authentic self.
Meditation, psychedelics, being alone in nature, fasting & many other practices can facilitate a detached state of mind where one can peel back the layers and reconcile suppressed emotions, motivations and ideas that lay beneath.
My personal experience is that the layers can become thick and almost impenetrable, like callouses on the psyche. So I'm a big fan of using them sparingly and taking more social risk to see how people react to a more honest representation of the self.
So much this^ Thank you for sharing!! <3
I find sometimes who I am depends on whom I'm with. I've never looked at quite this way, great article.
I'm so glad you found this thought provoking. Thank you for your comment! <3
k...that one definitely registered...I'm just down to dust is all...wonder where that collects the most...pretty sure null don't give a damn about no stink'n dried up steem dust eh?
Peace out...in
gets out the hoover
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You really don't need my help with the courage. Keep posting.
Every little bit helps, your efforts in PAL inspire me.
PAL is there just for that sort of thing. The community grows and in the end we get better content across Steemit.
sorry I am very tired. <3 mistakes were made. haha, and yes I agree. I'm going to sleep now.
Strange thing the conscious and subconscious minds do to one another...then there's parents and siblings wheedling and burrowing into your core like a boll weevil. It's a wonder how any of us can think we're independent thinkers.
At the age of three...or four...doesn't matter at that age I was pretty curious about everything going on around me. I was outgoing and a happy kid saying hello and smiling...just like the fool I am today...(echoes of Janis Joplin's truly genuine laughter)...at neighbors and strangers alike. Always a 'hello...how are you today?'.
I was the kid in Simon and Garfunkel's 59th Street Bridge Song but by the time that song came around I was much more introverted and pensive. I was still friendly to people but something was off. Still curious about the world and everything in it. I still wanted to make the world a better place just by being a part of it all.
By the time I was in high school I was beginning to have serious doubt about where things were leading to. Corruption was a big thing to me...still is. Honesty was always important to me and if I found a friend was disingenuous with myself or other people I distanced myself from them...and told them why if they were to ask. I still to this very day can't say if I was being unfair or holding too high expectations for myself and those around me, including family. It didn't occur to me until in my early twenties that it was the little white lies that kept the skids of a relationship moving along smoothly...more or less. I still think that's bull shit thinking but hey...5-7 billion people can't be wrong...can they?
I suppose now I would be accused of having an extraordinarily low EQ...perhaps another "expert" would say I'm somewhere on the Asperger's spectrum...while the one down the hall would swear up and down that I'm classic psychopath material. All with a different prescription for the state of my future mental health, yet none of them, or us...can point a finger at the problem and say "see there? there is the disease!" And they likely never will be able to. The brain is just too complex. It's said a lot of super smart people have tendencies to self medicate to dull their thinking...I believe that's true...and likely wise for self preservation for some of them...they...I digress...or have I?
Sure we can comprehend and even summarize what we comprehend but no one can honestly say they have a true understanding of what makes Johnny tick or MaryJane whirr...and tock. Not unless they're either delusional or a board certified psychiatrist. Which when you look at it closely are nothing but a bunch of contrarian hypocrites...even among themselves. They can't tell you what a medication will do for you but they'll prescribe it as well as a few others to cover the side effects...or worsen them...because then they can point at and say 'see it's working you're doing much better...today.' Or not.
I'm still a polite, honest happy-go-lucky person...for the most part...the world can be a bitterly cold place if you can't laugh...or at least smile. And I still feel like kick'n down the cobble stones...look'n for fun 'n feel'n groovy 'n all that. But I've learned a new tune along the way...it goes something like this...id ain't me babe...no no nooo id ain't me babe...id ain't me yer look'n for...babe.
So...if it isn't id 'n id ain't me...then who the hell's fault is it anyway? That's what id would like to know. Think I'll just sleep on that thought and let my ego and super ego try to finger it out...not that they gotten anywhere up to this point...but at least they're do'n their li'l circle jerk outta sight and in my severely apneatic mind...great post @sammok ...thanks fer reminding me how truly fucked up the world is run...and id ain't me so point yer finger elsewhere. { ;-)>
p.s. oh and the upvote didn't move the wheel...but then again I could be spit'n dry steem dust by now :)
Thanks for sharing, I know how hard it can be. <3
Society does force us to wear certain masks. Contexts do as well. My authentic self may want to give a person specific directions to Mount Gofuckyourself, but unfortunately that is generally frowned upon and traditionally inhibits success. So weird, that. ;) There's an elegant way to be authentic and play within the rules though, if you choose to remove the mask entirely and paly the game differently.
hahahaha i love it. "My authentic self may want to give a person specific directions to Mount Gofuckyourself." <-- beautiful.
I'm interested in this game changer however.
Please elaborate! <3
Just because you can't give someone a map to the mountain doesn't mean you have to smile and nod, or just take someone's abuse or disrespect - in any context: social, professional. I don't think wearing a mask and being authentic are mutually exclusive. You owe it to yourself to BE your true self, as much as any of us can (considering we are on an everlasting journey to discover what "self" means to us, what we want it to mean, and seeing our personal truths through the mask we wear inside ourselves too). So instead, it's the challenge of finding a way to express yourself truthfully within boundaries of respect and social norms. As you illustrate well with your post, it's actually a gift to the other person to express your boundaries and thoughts as it can (potentially) help them evolve, too. In real terms: You are a woman being sexually harassed at work by a superiors "jokes" that leave you feeling uncomfortable and offended in the workplace. Should you drop a pin and shoot directions to Mt. FYS? No. Should you find the inner strength and courage to call it out? 100%! "I know you think you're joking Stewart, but your comments are making me increasingly uncomfortable. You do great work here, and I value what you bring to the team. I'd love to be able to say I see that same level of effort where it comes to the way you interact. Let's move forward from here being more aware of the things we say to each other at work. I know you are capable of better." Going further: Just because you can't or do not choose to share certain details about a facet of your life, perspective, truth... does not mean you can't move the needle there either. Play devils advocate. This is the difference between people who do and do not call out racist relatives. It's the difference between those who speak up when they see injustice. It's having the chutzpah to be the odd one out and the intellect to present contrary ideas in a way that can't be disregarded as vitriolic. It calls upon us to evolve personally to do this skillfully, but that's a challenge I love to rise to. (I hope I've expressed this well, I need more coffee still...) ;)
Beautiful, glorious sharing. <3 Thank you so much for this.