Opening Up For Free Is Irrational And A Way To Make Sure You Deserve The World
Yes, so here's the deal.
I wrote a 2k+ word post. Typing my soul away, becoming increasingly cloy with every sentence. It was a masterpiece.
And I deleted it. Why? Because it was too personal. It contained ideas and sentiments that almost define me as a person. And we can't have that for free.
You can't expect me to give myself away to strangers. Who the fuck do you think you are to demand such things from me? FUCK YOU BITCH.
People Expect The World From Others, Yet They Offer NOTHING
Everyone is entitled. Ask and you shall receive is the motto. But it misses one key ingredient.
To get value, you have to provide value.
"I want a tall, handsome, rich guy to fuck me good and buy me pretty things. What do you mean I look like a 4ft, 200 pounds potato?"
"I want a bus full of blonde supermodels from Sweeden, sucking my dick every day. What do you mean I can't see my dick because my gut is too big?"
"I want to YOU to give ME advice about my business. For free. What? You want money? Sell-out."
"I want the world to offers itself to me, while I sit on the couch all day, numbing myself playing video games and jerking-off to porn. I deserve it, because my mom told me so"
Pathetic weaklings.
It is a toxic mindset to have, entitlement. It's alse sneaky. AND useful.
WHAT? A PARADOX?
YES! Life is full of them.
How do we reconcile this paradox?
ACTION!!!
That's right. Action. As long as you do things that help you get closer achieving whatever goal or desire you have, you are entitled to think you deserve it.
Do it. Do it everyday and it will become yours.
Now that I gave you the secret to life, let's go back to my original point. I told you, excessive sun makes me space headed...
Opening up for free is irrational. Yet, people expect it. And they give nothing in return. When you are in a relationship, both people open up. And you have a bond (IF you have sex, that is).
Now, what?!
I get nothing in return from this. Nothing is real, unless I make it real, yet I have zero incentive to do that.
Hmm... I wonder if any of you get it. Is there anybody out there?
-Thatredbeardguy
P.S- I am leveling up as a person and that gets in the way of my writing. Oh boy, those next 6 months are going to be GOOOOD
Here's some more melodramatic posts from me:
Hmm... I’m not so sure about this. I’ve heard it said that you throw your bread upon the water, and it comes back buttered. I’ve also heard it said that good negotiation is never giving anything without getting something in return. I subscribe to the former sentiment, and have come to wholly reject the latter.
The latter is exceedingly capitalistic. It’s guarded, insecure, afraid. It’s zero-sum, reptilian survival. It’s what walls are built of - walls that block love and authenticity in relationships. Walls that cut off the future of humanity. It’s the cautious cat peeking hesitantly from behind the bushes. It’s rooted in fear, which ultimately gives rise to immorality.
I say lay yourself bare, give it all away. Go first, instead of waiting for others to demonstrate their reciprocation like some tentative Hollywood drug deal in an abandoned parking lot. Let them screw you to the wall, or shower you with praise, knowing you are strong enough to handle either.
Giving of yourself isn’t about who is worthy to recieve - it’s about whether you feel you are something worth giving. Authenticity is a self-respect issue. Give of yourself openly because to do otherwise is to hide who you are. It’s shame, like keeping a two-headed child chained up in the basement so the neighbors won’t see. Like saying “it’s nobody’s business how much money I make”, like keeping secrets of any kind.
If you spend yourself carelessly, then what good are you? What's left of you to help the people who really need you?
It's not about reciprocation. No one is ready for you, ever. Let's not kid ourselves. Writing for the sake of writing, sharing for the sake of sharing is like falling in love as a teenager. It's always bubbly and and warm and nice, but it's hollow. It doesn't have the raw passion that comes with fear of losing each other.
Falling in love with your mind is easy. Writers are sluts. They love to talk about themselves. It's very easy to conflate authenticity with your fleeting emotions. It's very easy to equate yourself to something greater.
To give form to the abstraction: We always want something in return when we do something. Writing is no different. It produces value. It takes away from you. It's idealistic to think that getting naked is noble. You are admitting that you let strangers fuck you for nothing in return. Unnecessary self-sacrifice.
I won't give myself to strangers, without them working for it, the same way I won't open up to the girl I met yesterday.
My reply doesn't do justice to my position, but it'll do for now. Figuring this out as I go.
Hey, that's cool, we're all figuring it out as we go. I'm totally with you about self-sacrifice, I actually wrote about that very topic not that long ago (if you want to see it, it's here: The Selfish Art) I just don't see opening up as a sacrifice, or a net expenditure.
When I write here on Steemit, for example, my hope is that I'm contributing to the uplift of humanity in some small way; but whether I am or not, I derive benefit from it myself. I enjoy writing; honing the skill and organizing my thoughts. While interacting with the article, new ideas come to mind (as they might in a conversation with someone else). These are gains, regardless of how anyone receives my work.
Opening up is like taking a nozzle off a hose. It's an exercise of our innate freedom. Think of the strict Japanese culture where social interactions are historically very formal. This is a great stress upon a person. Shame is ever-present. There is a valve stemming the flow of individual expression.
You had something to say. I, for one, was very interested to hear it. But even if no one was, you were being set free in that discarded writing. Relationships too (which are hobbled abominations in our current culture) benefit most from free expression. If you opened up completely to the girl you met last week, and if she could handle it (which is unlikely, but possible), you would feel validation unlike anything possible when you stifle yourself and gain her acceptance. I don't see how fear is a healthy form of passion. We should be reveling in people's presence for the present moment alone, not living in grasping fear of their possible future departure.
To be loved, you must first be known. That's why celebrities are all fucked up, despite the admiration they receive - the world says they "love" them, but they know that these are strangers. The question lingers, "How can they love me when they don't even know me? Maybe if they knew me, they would not love me so much."
YOU is not something you can run out of. You're not giving something away or getting screwed over because someone takes it - regardless of how they use it. Authenticity is its own reward because it's truth, it's freedom. Secondarily, the people who remain in your circle are there for the full-on real you, which means they won't need you to jump through hoops you don't already jump naturally, and their expectations are in alignment with what you're naturally giving off.
The world is deeply entrenched in deception (direct or by omission), so I do see being authentic as noble, as it's being the change we need to see in the world. That being said, I have no illusions about how most people will handle such taboo behavior. Your grouping of friends will likely be small, though true.
A bit long-winded there, but hey - that's who I am! Hahahaha
I agree with the sentiment behind this. I don't want to discuss this any further, because I just realized I don't know how to communicate exactly what I am thinking.
I do believe you should give yourself completely and I do appreciate authenticity like nothing else. But I also think unfiltered and purposeless self-expression isn't all that straight-forward. For example, I expected people to comment a comment like yours (though not that eloquently), because it is what we are primed to think.
Fuck I am doing it again. I need to think more on this.
Thank you for the comments anyway. I appreciate the thoughts behind them and I owe you more answers, but it seems I am in the middle of a shift, so bare with me.
Fair enough, that’s totally cool. I’m not usually a social media guy - I came here to learn, share and grow because I heard there was a community of like-minded folk. So I’m all for the earnest seekers just saying what’s on their mind, and us all trying to figure this stuff out together. I follow you, so we’ll be talking again soon, no doubt!