Hello Steemit... Creative, Talented Writer, and Trade Analyst entering the community (r1)
Yes a repost, but I like to introduce myself often in case you missed me... :)
Who am I? That really depends on who you ask? And why you are asking ;)
If I am to be labeled by my accomplishments and struggles survived, then I would be a former United States Marine Corps Explosive Ordinance Technician, business owner, crytotrader, writer, smart ass, creature of intellect, south paw, INTJ, call it as it is individual and thus far cancer survivor.
In regards to military service I was an Explosive Ordnance Disposal technician.
I'm on the right
As an EOD technician, I was stationed in Japan at Marine Corps Air Station Iwakuni. From there I deployed to Australia, Guam, Korea, Thailand, Phillipines, Russia, Brunei Darussalam and places you don’t want to be. I was also fortunate in that I found myself assigned to the Secret Service as EOD asset for the protection of Secretary of State Colin Powell. During this assignment I travelled all over the world as a part the Secretary of State’s Secret Service detail checking and clearing areas expected to be used by him of potentially explosive or suspicious devices. I also was assigned a position working with the Department of State to assist in the training of working dogs for explosives detection.
Traditional Education:
• Wheeler high School, 1990-1994, High School Diploma
• University of Maryland University College Asia 1996-2002, Associate of Arts degree (AA) - General Studies with Business and Management Curriculum
12087915_1223737020977130_2573354259435168067_o.jpg So you want to join EOD?
Well if you like digging live mortars out of the ground
Then Welcome aboard!!!
After departing the Marine Corps I found myself in Florida working in the family General Contracting business. Which in 2004 was booming after Hurricane Charlie leveled the area. Yet I always felt as though I was destined for more. So I abandoned the business and embarked upon my own endeavors.
yeah I know I smile too much.
Having little in the amount of savings at the time, but a good head on my shoulders I figured Real Estate sounded cool. So I took the test, got a realtors license and worked for a broker selling houses. This lasted all of 2 months before I realized that I should be the one buying and selling the homes as an investor and the Broker can work for me. So that’s what I did. I started buying fixer uppers and flipping them. I also began to expand my tentacles and channel my drive into the world of stock trading. Like most of the uninitiated to the predatory market that is trading I played on emotion and got burned; well not burned but singed around the edges. At this point I chose to dedicate myself to learning all that I could about wealth building, trading, investing and the like. I read all the books, Robert Kiyosaki; William O'Neil, Warren buffet, and many others; gaining a bit more knowledge with each one. Eventually my trading turned around as I acquired the discipline to remain devoid of emotion and adhere to certain strategies.
Over the following couple of years I parlayed my drive and strategies into a decent nest egg which I used to enter the Luxury Pet Resort business. I nurtured and grew this business till the point that I was comfortable with its value and sold it. Well that’s not totally true there was more involved in the decision to sell; my health playing a larger factor (more on that later). Although I sold the brick and mortar business I still offer consulting services for those interested in that market. Trust me if you want to get into that industry and start doing your research you will find me.
In regards to the health thing, it is a bit of a mind fuck and will challenge your view on God, free will and belief in others. That said I was lucky, well not really, but I was at least unique in that I had an exceptionally rare cancer of the adrenal gland (stage 2). While this does not sound particularly interesting it had a most profound effect on my life. I was first notified of the tumor in 2010 at which time it was the size of a pea. The doctors told me it was probably benign, lots of people get these things, don’t worry about it and we will just follow up in two years. Taking this information at face value I put it out of my mind, carried on with my life, and failed to get the recommended follow up. Sometime in 2015 I was required to get a physical and the previous notation in regards to the tumor came up. As a result I was scheduled for another scan. Well 48 hours later my phone starts blowing up with calls from my primary care, oncologists, endocrinologists, end of life care specialists etc. I was like WTF.
Not bad for a guy that was dying..
So fast forward through all the testing and other non interesting BS and it is determined that I have some rare hormone producing tumor. Essentially I have too much adrenaline, too much testosterone (dang) and now a tumor the size of a baseball slowing eating me from the inside. So fast forward a bit more and they remove the tumor, no need for chemo and six month Pet Scan follow ups. According to the odds I have a 50 percent chance of making it five years. Not my favorite odds, but fuck it. Not much I can do about it.
Now for the interesting part, we are for the most part indoctrinated into the belief that everything we do is a choice, we have free will and that God is good; that everything is his will and serves a greater purpose that may just be beyond our understanding. I challenge that thinking. In my particular case and in a most insidious manner, my tumor was producing hormones that slowly and insidiously had detrimental effects on my mental well being; as well as physical “blood pressure, heart enlargement, etc.”
Placing the physical aside I began to notice over the course of a few years that I became consistently more irritable, violent, aggressive, prone to rage, hypersexual etc. I began to suffer crippling bouts of depression that with my personality type only served to make me angrier and bitterer. Little things would send me into a rage. It was bizarre, it was primal and it was uncontrollable. I knew something was wrong, but had no idea what. I felt as though I was losing my mind. I abused every person in my life, got into bar fights, drank to excess to drown the depression etc. No matter how successful I was, I felt miserable, unhappy and mad, just fucking mad at the world. I spent the better part of two years waking up every day wanting to twist the heads off of kittens. I felt as though there was a monster inside of me beyond my control. I began to blame my wife for my unhappiness and my marriage soon crumbled.
It happened slowly but deliberately as the tumor grew and consequently produced more and more hormones, in turn skewing my personality further and further toward the dark side.
I’m not totally unique and others have had similar experiences with this type of illness.
http://www2.pedsanesthesia.org/meetings/2013winter/syllabus/submissions/stracts/nonmod/NM-221.pdf
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/03/15/magazine/15wwln-diagnosis-t.html
In truth the illness killed my faith and led me to the conclusion that we are nothing more than an accumulation of matter; that we are nothing more than the sum of numerous biological processes and chemical reactions. When one of those processes goes off the rails and begins to act in a manner contrary to its design then the entire system that depends on it will likewise fail. As a result the information your mind is being provided to make choices becomes flawed leading to flawed choices.
I have since entered a new relationship with a wonderful woman 12 years my junior and now have my first child; a daughter.
Moving on, I have always been a writer, having won poetry and writing contests from a young age; though at this age I don’t proofread nearly as much as I should. Topic dependent, my writing style can be exceptionally analytical or straight from the hip; all the while mindful to maintain a conversational storybook style of writing.
I trade and study cryptocurrencies / regular commodities on a daily basis.
If you like reading the unfiltered meanderings of an experienced trader and abrasive former Marine that writes bluntly while refusing to placate the the overly politically correct, safe space embracing current society we now live in; then upvote me and follow. If not then retreat to your safe space and cover your ears while assuming the fetal position.
****************The STEEMIT MILLION DOLLAR CHALLENGE......*************
Steemit Quest For One Million. Time required to build a $1,000,000.00 Steemit Account
My Daily Trade Analysis:
https://steemit.com/bitcoin/@pawsdog/12-12-2017-the-market-view-and-trading-outlook
https://steemit.com/bitcoin/@pawsdog/12-11-2017-the-market-view-and-trading-outlook
https://steemit.com/bitcoin/@pawsdog/5ceniq-12-9-2017-the-market-view-and-trading-outlook
https://steemit.com/bitcoin/@pawsdog/12-9-2017-the-market-view-and-trading-outlook
Welcome to Steem Community @pawsdog! As a gentle reminder, please keep your master password safe. The best practise is to use your private posting key to login to Steemit when posting; and the private active key for wallet related transactions.
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Wow @pawsdog, respect man, you've been through a lot! I wonder what the nature of the connection is between your 'rage' and the manifestation of the tumour - have you pondered to yourself what experiences they may be born of (reaching back to early childhood 1-7yrs, and re-manifesting through the course of - a clearly high intensity - life)? Just a humble suggestion my friend, I'm not seeking a response on this, I'd say it's prob. way too deep, no? Anyhow, I'm with you on the whole chucking organised religion, dogma, absolutist statements about how things ARE (the external stuff)! With you on that man, but there's still space isn't there, for the stuff that religions purport to lead one to, but never seem to - something along the mystical lines of the realisation of one's own higher self and inner personal creator potentiality & power, in tune and harmoniously aligned with the universe? The power to self-heal IMO, is deeply connected with the understanding of why dis-ease manifests itself, simultaneously releasing all the supressed energies surrounding it, which have been silenced so long that they have no option but to yell and scream and manifest as they may to get your attention.
You appear happy in your relationship - btw a 12 year gap means you guys are prob. the same Chinese horoscope sign - I had a very powerful and healing relationship with the same age-gap(sigh...). Love is deeply healing no? A soft and safe space for a 'hard'(but not really) dude like you :).
Namaste!
Hmmm.. I think rage etc, was the result of biological processes and malfunctioning chemical reactions and interactions. Had to much testosterone, adrenaline, etc. as a result of the fact that it was a hormone producing tumor, ergo it in many ways it led me to act impulsively and on baser instinct.
As for love being healing? No idea, had it once, it left when I got ill, now I have a stop gap on loneliness until death finally does come for me. If the stop gap leaves or heads elsewhere I'll just find another, and another and another till the end, but love my friend, real love is a once and a lifetime event.. everything else is "mehh" at best.. so you deal with it, make the best of it, and wait until you don't have to wait anymore and either give it a shot in the next life, or just turn into dirt, having pretty much lived a "fail life" of romance and game over.
I have loved, wont' do it again... I can, at a moments notice drop everyone; friends (have 0 now in the real word, been peeling those off the last few years being a recluse at home), GF (stop gap), infant daughter (causality of my initial illness) and be perfectly fine, I won't even blink as I move onto a different situation. No need to connect with people that will inevitably betray you, leave you or otherwise fuck you over at some point.. Attachment leads to hurt, detachment leads to "Oh well, next"....
I think I hear what you're saying, it sounds like numbness to innoculate against the disease of feeling, because of, well, the overwhelming pain. I'd say there is likely more to the rage than hormonal disfunction, but that's also just my opinion. Also, for me, real love is unconditional, or it is something else (relatively recent discovery for me). Lastly, to reiterate a point: after disregarding the external (including all other beings who have, might, will - let you down), there is a point of break-through if one is strong and brave enought to face one's own feelings - but without judgement, thereby releasing what's inside!
That's my bit of disagreement with the view stated above, my 2 pennies' worth. I won't push it any further. I hope you may find peace, as well as the beauty that lies on the other side of cynicism - it's real, as I have discovered to my incalculable relief!
That is one way of looking at it.. my way I believe leads to less aggravation in the end. The only person I need to look out for is me..
Hey again - just one more. I'd like to make you a little offering (a gift even?), for you to use or not as you please:
"The only person I need to look out for is me...." sure man, this is connected, I think it's a bit of the 'looking after' part, which seems (IMO) to get less attention! You've nothing to lose, but a perspective shift may be available if you're open to it and it resonates. If not, then you can discard my airy-fairy well-meaning bullshit :)
Thanks for indulging me @pawsdog
Nah, I'll give it a look when I have some time..
https://steemit.com/@chelseajo
https://steemit.com/@chelseajo
https://steemit.com/flagclub/@transisto/do-you-think-greenman-voting-pattern-is-good-for-steem
Damn... i didn't know that you are a kkona kid with PTSD who's searching for attention on steemit. i am so sorry that you have to deal with all this shit in your head! Keep poppin SSRI's my friend and stay strong and don't think to much about the rope :)
Lol... Witty, Glad that I am on your mind and you felt the need to comment. That said your going to have to do much better than that. I would perhaps suggest that you embrace a more positive attitude here and work to get along.. It would likely work out much better for you in the long run I'm sure. Also you should not advocate veteran suicide, just proves your a dick and unappreciative of the freedoms you enjoy.