The Story About How I Tried to Make $1000 With One Post

I'd seen it done before and I knew I could do it too.

It was just a matter of time.

I woke up that day. From my sleep of course, but that's not all. I had been in a trance for many months. Working hard, doing things my way, getting shit done, succeeding.

It was never enough though. Something needed to be pushed aside to make room for that of which is much better.

I saw how well they had been treated. Sure, they started up just like everyone else. Played the game on the same field. Some paid their way, giving themselves an advantage, but even they had to find a following and work hard enough to maintain the interest in their work.

People would line up to leave a comment. They were given advice beforehand. Their intentions were pure enough. Get noticed by the ones getting noticed.

I never did that. Maybe I was being held back because of it. Always busy working on my own thing, trying to improve and always being there for my own audience. Still doesn't feel selfish. Feels about right. I had gained a lot of attention through my posting efforts anyway.

When I did comment somewhere else, I wanted it to be a rare treat. I wanted them to know I was there and genuinely interested because sometimes the vote isn't enough. Besides, they knew I was a busy guy.

Meanwhile

A storm was brewing. A few outsiders showed up from time to time. They heard about easy money online and wanted some like right now.

Many wanted to skip the steps required to move up. They would see something someone else did, try doing the same thing, then get angry and claim the place was a scam when their meme didn't make $100 like that other meme.

They would shoot everyone down when their post about bananas was overlooked. Some even tried to trick everyone with fake art. Others would share Alex Jones videos, then not be able to figure out why they are not instantly becoming the next high paid conspiracy theorist.

"Circle Jerkers! The only way to get anywhere here is by sucking massive whale dick," they'd cry.

So Those Were the First To Go

I grabbed my favorite axe and began chopping their heads off, one by one. Things got messy, but I wore a rain coat.

One of the heads still managed to speak and complain while it rolled around on the floor. It even got louder as it bounced down the steps after I gave it a nudge with my foot.

I was lonely and needed a friend so I placed this special head on a broomstick and propped the whole thing up against a wall.

"You call this a post! This is shit! A shit post! Waste of my time!"

We didn't stay friends for very long.

Finally, Peace and Quiet

While everyone else had their backs turned, busy working on their next post, I realized it was time to go into stealth mode.

I grabbed a piece of blue cloth, cut two holes in it for my eyes, and tied that around my head.

After a quick slice of pizza, I located my two favorite swords, which I had named The Twins back in 1994, and headed out.

I sliced them all up faster than you can say, "Will it blend?" Forgot my damn rain coat though. I hate when I make that mistake.

The Job Was Done

When I finally got home, it was late. That didn't matter though. I was no longer in a rush.

The blood came off easier than I thought. Dish soap and a scrub brush was all I needed.

I then began to write. This is what came out.

Since nobody else is around, the moment I hit the post button and vote up my work, I should see about $1000.

Fingers Crossed!^{I hope it's more.}

Credits: _{All images seen here were produced digitally, by me. "Relax! It's fiction! You're not dead!" [email protected]}

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