The Thing About Depression...
I went through depression many times. From the worst to wanting to "end it all" (standing at the end edge and looking down a high building) to a minor one with where I just want to sleep rather than face everything. From drug abused to getting professional help and get medicated to therapy to self-meditation -I think I went through it all.
Because I wanted to know more about my "feeling" (back then I didn't know it was depression. I just called it "my down moment") I read all the books about the psychology of mental and emotion so I can understand what I was going through. Knowledge come understanding and understanding come realization and realization come the power to control the uncontrollable (so they say...)
Am I cured? I don't know. If you ask any self acknowledge depressed person that question they would say yes and then behind close door, when they are alone with their mind... they will answer differently.
At times I still have my down moments and every one who experience this would know the best solution is to talk about it- to get out of that gloomy and black hole and DO SOMETHING. But it's not that easy. To reach out is unthinkable. People judge. Scorn. Ridicule. They don't understand the demon within. They would just say, "snap out of it!" and you showed that "you've snap it and nip it and throw it in a bin" but inside, you curl back into that fetal position and weep (think people won't think badly of me for writing this? Please, honey. I know the drill)
But what pull me through? As cliché as it sound- God, iman and my faith towards my religion and teaching. I may not look like it but my daily prayers and doas helps a lot.
Whenever I hear famous people end their life due to depression, I know what they seek is peace. It may not be the best solution but you don't know what it feels to be in their mind.
If you cannot imagine it, it's okay. Just shut your trap about "money can't bring you joy etc" or "sikda iman sidak tok" or whatever bullshit that come out of your mouth that spew malice, ignorance and cruelty.
Just know that some people have their struggles and whether they make it known or be quiet about it, just be nice and pray for their peace.
That is all I ask for.
May they rest in peace to those who lost their battle.
(To those uneducated Muslims, shut your trap about seksaan kubur or neraka etc. You are NOT God)
It must be hard to be a muslim there (Sarawak I guess).
But then most muslim in our country are not that helpful or good enough to help us. I was lucky cause I found one, well he isnt that alim or religious anyway. But then, he said what I want to know/hear which I find quite comforting.
I was on drug for 4 months 24/7 after I broke up. It was hell. I dont even know wth I was doing back then and not too mention how broken my iman back then.
My advises are (From my exp of course) :
1- You are not alone , I tried to kill myself few times and failed (belum ajal, thanks God !).
2- Seek help. Just go with someone you comfortable with. Anyone
3- Bout the religion thing, there is always time to taubat as long you have the thought of doing it and do improve yourself (like stopping something doing such drug slowly or anything bad).
4- They are no better than you. F them really.
I am not going to spout something you can google by yourself and you can ignore my previous advises . My only advice here is, you can do it !
cause why not (kenak sik) kan
Being a muslim here is easy. Just the mentality of people who think that depression is a matter that can be brushed off easily kedak makan nasik cuci jak tangan. I think that applies to all idiots in the world not just muslims. I got ticked off easily when the so called orthodox muslim pdh org munoh dirik sebab depression ya sikda iman lah apa lah. It's not about religion but it's more about a person's psychological condition.
The reason I mentioned it's not easy because people here are so judgemental . I'd the remain silence instead of jaga kain orang. Im sure you feel the same too, cos they are not even being helpful at the first place.
'depression is a matter that can be brushed off', this is a proof that they are lack of empathy at the first place.
Btw, how are you doing now ?
I'm at a better place now Alhamdulillah ☺️ much much better
Glad to hear that . Dont ever stop , it is okay to slow down a lil bit
Congrats bro :D
I have always found exercise and healthy eating is a great way to your control depression. If you don't remain consistent it will makes you more susceptible to a relapse at which point it's so fucking hard to get motivated and back on track. Like you said once you slip into it it's soooo hard to snap out of it!
Positive vibes sending your way, I hope you find your peace.
I'm in much better place now after years of battling but yeah at times I relapse but not as bad as before. It helps to keep oneself busy and fill time with hobbies and friends and family. Thanks for the exercise tips!
No problem and I'm glad you are feeling better for the most part!
I have been through some pretty dark and rough time a month ago... And also last year... Last year I really went to a psychiatrist for help... Thought I have depression... But I am lucky... It's just me thinking too much... But it's a good thing I go out and seek for help... If I didn't, things might turn ugly... And that's when I started to think more about myself and have some time just for myself... I call it my ME time... I have focused too much living on others expectations... Which led me to there's no ME... However, I am still very blessed to have lots of friends supporting and loving me, although we may have never met physically before...
True. ME time is crucial especially to us moms. When we always give and almost never take, that's when we get suck into the spiral of depression.
Indeed... So every now and then I will take time off work and just go out and just enjoy to be alone... I can be doing nothing at all or enjoying coffee or cake or yummilicious food...
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