This series of stories will be titled 'I'm surprised I turned out as well as I did, given my childhood ...' 37
I’m a great believer in ‘natural justice’ or as some people know her, ‘Karma’.
I was the eldest grandchild in my father’s family, but on my mother’s side of the family, I was seriously stuck in the middle. Not the eldest grandchild – not even the eldest granddaughter.
Certainly not the favourite!
Because the thrill of the first-born missed me completely, I suppose it must have been a bit of a culture-shock to go from the ‘Adored first-born’ to the ‘meh… another one – and a Ginger to boot!’ mentality and be all-but ignored.
Too big to be ‘babied’, unlike my younger brother and sister, and too small to go out on my own or with my older cousins, I really was stuck. There’s little wonder that my active and curious mind would find lots of things to get me into a LOT of trouble.
‘Michelle! Get down!’, ‘Michelle! Don’t do that!’ ‘Michelle!’ Oh for goodness sake!
We didn’t have many toys at that grandmother’s – or rather, I didn’t. My two elder cousins lived with my grandmother because my aunt had died. Therefore, their toys were at my grandparents’ house. It was only on the rare occasion that we were allowed to play with them. I liked the books best, but it really was a rare treat to be able to get them out.
There were also a few battered toy cars. My brother commandeered them – even though I liked the Batman car, it could shoot matchsticks – I couldn’t play with them, either. ‘Not for girls.’
Frustration!
Two of my younger cousins visited our grandmother on Sundays and as we went on Saturdays, we hardly got to see them. The other cousin used to visit on Saturdays, so we all played together then. My cousin was always poorly. I remember that much. He’s a lovely lad – always was - but he couldn’t always play the rough and tumble with us.
I’m not saying I was the paragon of virtue – oh boy, FAR from it, but I did always like my cousin.
Sometimes, life is not fair and sometimes, kids just don’t understand.
My aunt explained what he was so poorly with once, but that’s not my story to tell. Suffice to say, he was always poorly and still is, but I tell you something, he’s the bravest person I know. He NEVER complains, he’s always cheerful and if he can help anyone, in any way, he’s right there, straight away, EVERY time.
My cousin had to have special medicine and because it was brightly-coloured (to make it more attractive, I guess) it was always a curiosity for me.
Yeah, basically, I was a brat! An entitled brat and I wanted what he was having because otherwise it just wasn’t FAIR!
My parents and both sets of grandparents claimed we were all treated the same – I’m here to tell you that was absolutely NOT true. In fact, it was a downright lie at times.
My cousin had to have this medicine – either just before, or just after food – so we all watched as he took the medicine. I wanted to know why he got some extra, brightly-coloured stuff and we didn’t.
One day, my mother decided to allow me some. Seriously! That poor kid, having to take THAT horrible stuff after every meal!
I didn’t understand why he had to take it, but I did accept it after that.
On one side, my father’s parents treated me much different to my brother and sister. I got a lot more treats etc - not sweeties, we all had an equal portion – but I was treated to horse-rides and stuff and I don’t recall my brother or sister receiving anything like I got.
On the other side, my mother’s parents, I was an absolute pariah.
My brother was the same age as my cousin and the two cousins that visited on Sundays (or thereabouts). My sister was much younger and hardly any trouble. I was a handful and mischievous, getting into everything, doing stuff I shouldn’t and generally making life difficult for all the adults.
If anything went wrong, if there was any trouble, the eyes always looked directly at me – seriously, for EVERYTHING!
My grandmother loathed me whistling. I was a happy kid, despite the trials and tribulations of being stuck in the middle… what can I say? I liked to whistle. My father's father was always whistling... maybe that's why I liked to, too.
I’m not sure if I shared this, but at the risk of being scolded by cheetah… here goes.
We were all sitting in the parlour (front room, television, sofa, chair, fireplace). My grandmother was asleep on the sofa, my mother was doing something (crochet perhaps). I sat in front of the fire, leaning against the sofa.
Suddenly, my grandmother woke up, sat up and slapped me round the face. She was a big, powerful woman and it bloody hurt, I can tell you!
My mother looked up and said, “What was that for? What did she do?”
“She was whistling. She woke me up!” my grandmother said, angrily.
“She wasn’t whistling,” my mother said.
“Oh, I must have dreamed it.”
That was it.
“Oh, I must have dreamed it.”
There was no ‘Sorry, I shouldn’t have hit you.’ No apology, admittance of wrong – nothing.
I don’t remember crying much (perhaps in temper or frustration, but hardly ever because of physical punishment) but I must have cried that time.
So I decided to conduct an experiment.
Sitting at the kitchen table one day, my cousin sat on a different side, I whispered to him, “Whistle for me…”
He set up a quiet little tune, sitting there, hunched over, trying not to laugh.
Of course I got told off for the whistling. My cousin was mortified but I’d proved a point.
“It’s not me whistling. You always blame me first. You never figure out who’s really to blame.”
Yeah, I know… too smart for my own good.
Images from Google
i have seen users finding booring to read quite long stories but let me tell them ..whenever i come across your post i never feel any sort of booring instead i really enjoy your posts and after reading your posts i feel i have gain something important and learned some new words which further improve my vocabulary too....... i thank you a lot for sharing such qualitative content.....
Hey, you're most welcome. Thank you for your feedback.
The best way to improve your vocabulary is to do exactly what you're doing. Read lots and lots. Find out what words mean (I still look-up some words if I don't know what they mean) and read some more.
Good Luck! :)
Really by reading your articles my vocabulary is drastically improved....your are the only one whom i can say is the reason behind my good vocabulary......each day i learn new words and i knoe this will help me throughtout my life......you are amazing
No, the person behind your improving vocabulary is you. You're doing the work to improve your English. I'm fortunate, I already know English. Well done!
@michelle.gent Middle child syndrome is the feeling of exclusion by middle children. This effect occurs because the first child is more prone to receive privileges and responsibilities (by virtue of being the oldest), while the youngest in the family is more likely to receive indulgences. The second child (or middle child) no longer has their status as the baby and is left with no clear role in the family, or a feeling of being "left out". Despite being used to explain a child's behavior, middle child syndrome is not actually a clinical disorder.
I'm frustrated when my youngest brother try to taking cell without my permission 😒😒 I always disappointed from that things and sometimes I slapped to my brother after than they slapped me too!! Lolz
But truly I feel very bad to slapped my brother i feel always to controlled our frustrations but Yupp these were is the funniest moments of our life we fight each other, sometime we hate each other, but the main things is we love each other❤!
I'm always like to read your childhood stories and Yupp sometimes i shared my childhood with you too! Lolzz
Keep sharing with us your childhood stories with us:))
Big thumbs up!
Yes, though I was the eldest in my family, I was smack in the middle of a lot of cousins... so it fits.
We didn't have much for my younger siblings to take without permission LOL
Middle child syndrome - I hear ya!
My mother had three kids with three different dads. Unfortunately mine was the biggest loser of the lot - a drunk and a suicide. Somehow I would up being the emotional favorite while getting shafted in the resource department. Brother and sister both got private school - but I learned to fight on the playground. Life's complicated like that.
Glad you found a way to test your Grandma. Did she ever respond to the evidence?
Oh yeah... she said it was my own fault for trying to trick her.
I used my cousin because I knew he'd not get into trouble for it. I'm not that mercenary ;)
Clever... and kind.
I want you on my side!
Haha! Great reply!
your article is really incredible ,,,
I like it very much,,,
Thank you.
thank you for helping me ,,,,,
I want to learn a lot from your article, @michelle.gent
You are still a pain and a trouble.
How come I get told not to whistle after all that?
At least I don't slap you ;)
Think about it... I had the whistle knocked out of me... literally...
As the middle child in both my birth and adopted homes, I can relate to this ... or some of it, at least ... lol.
Yes, I suppose I was fortunate though... I've had to toughen up and that's helped me later on.
so cute
What's cute?
I have just discovered your writings and am impressed with your talent.
Such a "true to family life" post. My oldest of 4 children always complained that he was blamed for all that went wrong in dealing with the others. Maybe I expected too much from him in that scenario, however, my observations proved me correct at least 50% of the time. I really do believe that most parents do the best they know how to do rearing their children.
Oh believe me, for most of the time, it was me. I just objected to getting the blame on the few occasions that it wasn't me ;)
Both being the eldest child in the family and a middle child in a pack of cousins is definitely double jeopardy. I was the same. Got it from both sides. Being the eldest came added responsibilities and duties. If anything went wrong it was my fault even if I was nowhere around. Being in the middle of the cousin pack was no piece of cake either. But your learn to cope and some how survive...
Yes... somehow :)
Still, I have plenty of stories to go at now... so who has the last laugh? ;)
great job
Thank you.