The Snows Came
When I got up this morning I knew something was amiss. The world was quiet. Deathly quiet. A strange glow shone in through the windows. Was this it? Had the Aliens finally come for me? For us?
I dashed to the window. Outside, everything was carpeted in a thick blanket of snow. More of the damned stuff was falling from the sky, like jizzum from a faulty elephants penis.
I woke the good lady.
The snows have came.
Oh no!
She cried. She ran in panic to the windows and flinched at the sight.
I felt her pain, You would think that Scotland being an arctic country would be able to cope with a little snow. Well, you would be mistaken. The slightest dusting of the stuff sends the country into meltdown. Transport ceases. Fights break out in the local shops over the last loaf of bread and people take their lives to avoid the horror of slipping on the road or turning the heating up a couple of degrees.
The only people unaffected by the weather are employers, who still insist on people fighting through mountains of snow to get to work so that they can be told to go home due to adverse weather conditions.
The good lady came downstairs and watched me as I ferreted around in the cupboards.
Do we have enough supplies to last through it?
She asked fearfully.
We can melt the snow, so we have plenty of water. I can make bread as I have sacks of flour in the Garage.
You might have flour but what about yeast? Salt? Don't you need those for bread?
I have Fred over there so no worries on the yeast front.
Fred? Who the fuck is Fred?
My sourdough starter. You know that jar of stuff in the corner that you keep mistaking for Dog vomit?
She made a woman eating sausages cooked in baw-grease* face.
*baw grease - the buildup of fatty smurr on the surface of the testicles after many days of not showering
But salt?
There are many ways a man can salt dough.
I said darkly.
We both looked bleakly at the increasingly heavy snowfall through the window.
When will it clear? Do you think we will make it this time?
Whispered the good lady as she clung to me.
They say it's to last till tomorrow baby...
Outside a child ran past laughing as he pulled along a sled.
I shook my head and closed the blinds whilst hugging her tight.
I just pray we can last that long...
Hehe oh @meesterboom how I have missed you over the last week of festivities! lol We had a sprinkling of snow in Notts, but it keeps melting sigh I am hoping for more a substantial down poor before my son has to go back to school so we can get out there and build a snowman! I mean, what else is there to do when the UK roads have come to a standstill?! haha I hope you had a lovely Xmas with your wife and littleones and I am looking forward to catching up on any gems that I have missed! Here's to a Happy New Year! Old Lang Syne and all that jazz lol
Oh man, we had it proper here today and last night. Real good sledding, snowman making snow!! I hope it makes it down your way!!
We had a lovely time, Cheers. I hope you did too!!
yes, we had a fab time thank you :) we are all going on a strict diet now though to work off the extra pounds gained lol
Oh man tell me about it. I am going to go full on diet straight after the new year!!
I must diet
Where I live in the US, every time they call for snow, everyone rushes to the grocery store to stock up on milk, bread, and eggs. It's as if everyone is planning a French toast party. And we average 18 inches of snowfall per year, so calling for light snow is not an unusual event.
I personally believe the grocers' association is tied in with the weather forecast station to help out in months where it looks like they aren't going to make their budget.
I am laughing at French toast party hehe, it's like that here. Fisticuffs in the shops over loaves!! It will be the grocers association, they will be the snow Mafia!
If you mess with the grocers' snow Mafia, you'll end up buried in a snow drift, and no one will find your body until... the next day when all the snow from the blizzard melts.
That's right your body all frozen and stiff with a baguette stuffed in your mouth :0D
Like the apple in a pig's mouth at a Hawaiian luau. Meant to send a message to the immigrants from warm weather climates who are attempting to destroy these cataclysmic weather phenomena by spraying their aerosol cans outside, creating their own cone of ozone breaching, UV infused sunshine.
(Sorry, it's Friday afternoon before a Holiday weekend, and I'm still at work getting "punchy").
Lol, I hope you finish soon then :OD
I have never understood why bosses insist people with famillies and children take high risk travelling to work. I had the same experience a few weeks ago. My boss didn't want me to work from home. I fell almost 3 times on my travel to work just to hear the office will close due to bad weather...
Yeah, I have been there. It's ridiculous. It really is hypocritical when they demand you come in and then mostly send you home. Especially if you can work from home!
LOL sounds like snow here in Texas, don't snow much but boy when it does people get nuts. An inch can shut everything down. Texas where I live don't have snow plows and just try to find a snow shovel....Everything flies off the store shelves till they are bare...but then the snow is gone by days end...lol....upvoted and resteemed.
Yas, that's it here! Scotland has this reputation as being a cold place so you think we would be able to handle it but no, just like Texas!! :0)
Hooo, Nooooooo, the snow has arrived and with it, the panic.
It's true what you say, ladies often tend to gramatize things a little more, but, we already know that this is in their nature, grateful for those issues, in more than one opportunity has served us much their way of being.
Great dear friend, to warm up and to skate on the snow
I wish you a wonderful afternoon dear friend @meesterboom
We had a wonderful time building snowmen!!
lol this so cool i think you should write a poetry you are good at this
upvoted and resteemed even though my reputation is low doesn't mean i cant make good friends and good upvote
I think in fact that it doesn't matter your rep or voting power. The fact that you vote for what you like is all that counts! :0)
thanks for the advice
it's pretty late there lucky you!
we had a wet one this afternoon .. wet one?
whatever.... hahaha you know what I mean
stay warm !
by the way .. what does "jizzum from a faulty elephants penis" mean?
what does a faulty .. mean what the heck am I aasking hahahaha
damn snow went into me brains lol
jizzum = sperm
:OD
Glad to have cleared that one up
Goodness me, a wet one indeed! It was a fabulous day of white blankety snow here. Its a shame though as it is meant to clear up by tomorrow
wahahahh
damn I regret asking lol
sorry the snow juggled my brain cells so I lost common sense
I need some sleep and it'll be back hahaha
well at least, you won't have a brrrr.. New Year!
Almost 2018 already! time flies doesn't it?
It does fly. Hpw mad a year has this been. Its been wild!
Yes it was cold, snowy too, so cold and snowy a squirrel was counting his nuts... one, two, THANK GOD!
It's always a relief to get to that second one!! ;O)
Being an Aussie, I can only dream about a white Christmas. I've heard about this magical mysterious thing you northerners call snow. Sounds like fun. But I never knew of it's connection to Elephants. That has me concerned!
Ah, once you have experienced its glory floating down on to your head the elephants will sing to you and then, then you will know! ;O)
Elephant's glory would be worthy of it's own song. Perhaps I should visit Scotland one day to bathe in such glory.
Lol, oh my that made me snort a tad :O)
- 44°C here today.
What seems to be the trouble? Looks like a nice day to have a picnic to me!
I love a sub zero picnic! That way I dont have to drag along the fridge!
Yeah. I hate when the damn cord gets hung up on the tree, then the door flings open and everything but the damn mustard falls out. I hated that day!
Its a valuable life lesson. I think. Somewhere in that. YEs indeed!