The Last Cut

in life •  2 months ago

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The good lady buzzed about merrily, filled with a manic Sunday joy. I could see in her head that she was racking up a list of chores for her man to get stuck into.

With my hangover nibbling away at my sanity, I gazed forlornly out the window at the leaden grey skies above.

Despite them being the colour of cold iron the day promised to be a dry one. Given that it is now September the likelihood of the days being dry are decreasing at a rate of knots.

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Did you get all that?

Said the good lady, snapping me out of my reverie. I realised she had been rhyming off an exceedingly long list of things for me to do.

This was quite frankly baws and certainly not what I had in mind for a relaxing Sunday.

I had a Eureka moment and turned to her.

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I'm afraid I will not be able to do those chores.

She narrowed her married eyes.

They need done and today is a perfect day to do them.

No.

I intoned flatly, steel in my voice.

Why the hell not?

She said, grinding her teeth in exasperation that her docile worm had turned.

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It's dry. I will have to get the Last Cut in.

I replied in a voice like old rocks grinding together.

Oh. Oh... Is it time already? Isn't it too early?

My gaze fell upon her, terrible and weighty with the wisdom of the ancients.

No. It must be now. Before the Winter comes.

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My tone brooked no argument.

She nodded, looking nervously outside at the grass and then the sky.

Ok. Sorry, I didn't realise.

I gave a curt nod.

You should take the younglings out whilst I work the land.

Oh, yes. Of course daddy bear. I will pop out to the park.

I headed out to the garage to prepare for The Last Cut. As I dragged the lawnmower out of the garage and into the front garden the good lady came out with the children in tow. I bade them farewell whilst attempting to look as if I had an onerous task ahead.

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I didn't let on that it would probably only take me twenty minutes to cut all the grass. In my head I could already see the relaxing boom time ahead.

Be back in a couple of hours, is that enough time?

Asked the good lady.

That should be fine.

I said with an inner cackle.

Coincidentally my neighbour, The Jim, was bidding farewell to his wife who was leaving at that moment.

The Jim looked over at me as he too pulled out his lawnmower.

The Last Cut?

He winked.

Oh yes, it is time.

I winked back.

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Here in Arkansas, the scenic land of sibling marriages, the last cut usually comes at the end of July in time for "The Dry Season" which seems to have bypassed us the past couple of years. I'm afraid at the rate we're going the Last Cut may not arrive until mid October!

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Oh man! That's ages, do what I am doing them and squeeze in a few last cuts!! Lol!!

The last cut! Hahahahaha! Only in Scotland. Here the last cut may be in December...if you are lucky! At least you will have a bit of boom time!

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December!!! Hot flaming donkeys!!! It's almost frosty in the mornings here now!! I am hoping it's not the last cut but it wouldn't surprise me!

LOL LOL love it. Just another manic Monday...wish it were Sunday that's my fun day...lol well in this case, Just another manic Sunday....So just curious I assume your wife doesn't read these, otherwise she would catch onto your mischievous ways for getting out of chores. Another seemingly everyday occurrence that would fit quite well in some sitcom. Nice one! Here in AZ "Winter never comes!" lol well unless you live in the mountains a couple of hours away, then you get heaps of snow. haha But not down at the desert floor. still pretty much blue skies and nice weather, with still plenty of chores. haha

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That's the funny thing with my missus. She is quite contemptuous of steemit. Despite everything she still loves Facebook and doesn't look at steemit at all unless I force her to read over of my posts!

I would love some desert skies. Instead of the low grey ceiling we have overhead for almost eight months

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hahaha I don't mind Facebook either, but am happy to use a variety of platforms...I still use Myspace...LOL kidding. Desert skies are pretty awesome, especially the sunsets, but they do get old after awhile, especially in the summer when we melt like popsicles in the 115+ degree heat. lol

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Not as old as getting wet and moody in the perpetual damp. Sometimes we don't see blue sky for weeks, weeks I tell you!!

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lol yeah I prefer the hot dry climate to cold and moody. hehe, I grew up in San Jose California, and we had a lot of rainy days from November thru March. Nowhere near as bad as like Seattle, or of course the UK. Drought conditions in the past have given the Cali folks more sun too, but in general they have amazing weather there in the Bay Area where I grew up. It is so darn expensive, I won't ever move back. lol My parents still live in the ole Taylor homestead I grew up in. Now it is worth a fortune. haha

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It's funny how that can happen. My friends parents stay in the same old house he grew up in. It was quite rundown in a rundown area. Then about fifteen years ago the are started becoming hip. Now the house is worth a ridiculous amount of money!

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Yes it is way funny how that can happen. One thing my parents has going for it, although it was built in the mid-60s, it sits on a quarter acre lot in the suburbs of San Jose. I think they bought it for like 24k, then built a few additions, a family room and master bedroom, each addition cost nearly that amount. They then redid their kitchen in 1998 and it cost nearly that amount. haha but they could sell it for 1.7 million now.....crazy right?

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That is nuts, smashing nuts though!

hooo, nooo the last cut! That is terrible, because it was invented to cut the cepes on Sundays who was the creator ?, as it did not take into account the Saturday of beers
Cutting the grass on Sundays is deadly,
on this side of the munco the cutting seasons begin, all winter we avoid it
I wish you a prosperous week dear friend @meesterboom

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She never considers beer Saturday in all her plans. That's why I have to be so sneaky!!

howdy sir meesterboom! hahaha! that's too funny.
"a voice like old rocks grinding together" nobody is better with adjectives. lol. we mow year round here in Texas so there are no "last cuts".

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I am deeply jealous of your weather!

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really? well most people think it's too hot but that's just for 3 months, the rest of the year is like heaven with mild temperatures! and it's almost always sunny.

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Sounds like heaven to me. Although we are all excited, apparently Thursday and Friday are meant to be sunny and... Wait for it... 19 degrees Celsius!! Lol!!

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ha! wow 19..that's darn cool for our weather. well hey it might make you feel better if you look at my post from yesterday..it's a lousy post that I just threw together to get something out, I usually post about the Old West cowboys, Indians, gunfighters and such..but this one might make you less envious of our weather, it's kinda creepy!
https://steemit.com/animal/@janton/six-reasons-to-keep-your-grass-cut-short-in-texas

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Lol, I like creepy. Will check it out :0)

Haha! Every guy needs a break from chores once in a while and the "Last Cut" was probably one of the best excuses you can get to deny those chores. Enjoy while it last, meesterboom! Upvoted!

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It was one of the finest excuses I have ever made!! ;0D

Lol surprised the lovely lady let you go. I had thought that stern look would've sent you quivering and doing those chores

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I grow stronger when stern looks are thrown my way!! ;0)

The last cut ye say. Aye the last cut.We all need our own time so nothing wrong with that. Boom time is precious. Love the pop in pictures with the words, makes me laugh every time i read your stuff.

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Hehe, cheers mate! Aye, it was a relaxing time alright!! I am sure I will be able to squeeze another last cut in too before it's too late!

I do like the pictures to keep it moving!

Man looks like your workouts are becoming martial-arts oriented with the sword and that crazy stance :D
And speaking of workouts, I haven't seen you give @actifit a try yet? We want some boom-bastic activity there lol .. seriously our account has grown to over 110K SP, and we are rewarding in Steem upvotes and AFIT tokens for activity records, and large delegator rewards too.
You can even use an alt account just for those activity reports like many do :)

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You know I was looking at it the other day! I have an alt account au I think I will give it a try. Now I will be exposed for an unfit bastard!! Lol!!

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loool, if only that helps scare away the vote beggars..
And if you need any help with the app, the guaranteed place to find me or a moderator
Just make sure to get anywhere between 5k-10k activity/steps per day and you're set for rewards, they're not so hard to reach :)

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Hehe will definitely give it a bash, I have joined the discord!

I forgot to bring the electric lawnmower in last weekend and after the rain, that may have decided my last cut.

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Ha, lucky for you! :0)

Sounds like the last relaxing boom time as well before the winter....

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Lol, I am sure I will think of other such ruses!!

The last cut is approaching here. The end of September should do it, maybe early October if the weather is right. It's the bloody leaves that drive me up the wall. I hate letting them pile up but have no desire to do the job more than once. The lady will ask to have the yard cleaned but I insist that it wait until the last leaf has fallen. Now, this can be a risky affair as there is always a slight chance that the snow will fly before the last leaf falls and if that happens, we. there is no coming back form that if she had been pushing for the job to be done.

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Oh the leaves man, that is another bugbear, there are so many here, and you have to get them before they go all mulchy but not before they stop falling. Its a difficult game to play!!!

The last cut....never hear that here in Texas our winter only lasts a few days to a couple weeks....there is never a last cut.
upvoted and resteemed.

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Boo hiss, I am so jealous!

Guess I need to find me a "Daddy Bear" LOL

This post was upvoted and resteemed by @thethreehugs. Thank you for your support!

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Haha, we are a rare but fine breed! :O)

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Indeed you are!

Great idea..

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Thank you!

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The Jim!! I was wondering when he would pop up! Am I the only The Jim tracker here? Come on people!

Oh, winter. Joy! It feels like it was only yesterday when I first caught glimpse of that powdery snow. How I wish global warming would hurry up...

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Eh. My parents always made me do it, my father could get out of chores because he did most of the cooking.

But yes. The womankind shall never understand how greatly exaggerated it is. And if anybody gives it away... well then,

There Will Be Consequences!