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RE: We are hot but still single. Why girls from generation Y have problems tying the knot.

in #life8 years ago

Thanks for the article! I enjoyed reading about this a lot.

As a female in generation Y I couldn't agree more with the hesitation of marriage and settling. I am not sure if it has to do with being spoiled we have different challenges then other generations, it is just different and shouldn't be compared (even though it is). But I agree with the connection and expansion of choice and how it feels like there is too many options. One thing I really think effects us when it comes to relationships is just the fear watching our parents generation. If they call us the "self focused me, me" generation I would call them the "divorce generation". I don't think they should be looking at us and judging us when we reach a certain age and still aren't married. How about look at yourself and how you did things out of social pressure and keeping up with the joneses and now your unhappy. I am also generalizing but everyone wants to point fingers at everyone else and tell them how to live their lives, is how they did it perfect? I really don't think so. For us we are now going forward and becoming a more independent generation especially as females which will come with its own and different challenges. I don't think there is anything wrong with that and we will not be perfect either. I just think do what is right for you, it may be uncomfortable at times or others may judge but at the end of the day it is your life.

All the best xo excited to read more posts.

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If they call us the "self focused me, me" generation I would call them the "divorce generation". I don't think they should be looking at us and judging us when we reach a certain age and still aren't married. How about look at yourself and how you did things out of social pressure and keeping up with the joneses and now your unhappy.

This is a vast over assumption of the actual causation of the symptoms presented. Up until the 1950's the African American divorce rate was lower than that of non-blacks in America. There was a higher widow rate due to lynchings, but these numbers have been obfuscated for obvious reasons. Back then communities in general were more tight knit. Due to the nature of working (parents working multiple jobs), the community looked after the youth. Whereas now, kids are regularly abducted as if it were a business...

The destruction of community trust had led to less support structures for the youth and as such really don't know how to create tight knit family bonds. Most of the baby boomers I've talked with who got divorced vs. those who didn't usually have a vast contrast in the amount of support their friends and family were involved with the marriage.

I really don't think it was "trying to keep up with the joneses", rather than poor uninformed choices because of lack of overall community support in the various family units.

Wow, thanks for the great comment. Glad to hear that you enjoyed reading it. +1 on becoming more independent in our decision making!

A very interesting and honest account of the inside feeling in your generation and sex !! Ofcourse being a man in his early fities i can see that all that you say is true in the said " Y " generation. But you must understand something maybe you dont truly realise..... that is you and even me are being herded like sheep, manipulated by our surroundings and our environment created by our " owners " our " social engineers " the ones which firstly give us the tools to be pushed down their pipe of control !! I found particularly interesting this part of your post " The technology that enables us to communicate with hundreds of people is manipulating our social behavior massively. " as its so true that the emergence of computers and the so called smart phones have put us all out to dry on the proverbial washing line, fixed to a place that we believe we chose to be but in fact nothing could be further from the truth as very little in our lives stem from our true souls, instead we follow the tendencies set by others, our peers,facebook friends, magazines, films etc !! We must i believe see this truth, break these invisible chains of social engineers which prevent us from experiencing our own personal destiny and true life plan !! But in the current climate i wish you luck !! regards from a man who knew another world before this one !!

I think this comment makes a lot of sense coming from a man in his early 50s. Gen x and y are a little bit opposite though in the sense that they are constantly trying to find more fulfillment out of life and changing lifestyle/social groups/careers so often that gen x and gen y rarely actually get to a point of attaining or sustaining the happiness and fulfillment that they are looking for.

A big part of the problem is that, that is exactly what we were told as kids. I'm gen x and it was bad in ours and worse in y.

"Follow your dreams!"
"You can be whatever you want to be"

Statements like these, that most parents/grade school teachers feed their kids/student are imo a fairly large issue. Because the fact is, that is a straight up lie. Very few people actually end up doing what they dreamed of doing as a kid. Granted, being superman when you grow up is a fairly lofty goal, even the more seemingly realistic dreams of kids are almost always destined to fail.

Another issue is that we degrade and condescend lines of work we actually need, ie plumbing and food service, and the reality is, not everyone can be a doctor or lawyer. And it's a problem that we falsely give hope to tons of new college entrants, when probably, a good portion of the time, their time and money wouldve have been better spent on learning a trade. I don't even want to count the amount of people I personally know off the top of my head that went to/paid for college and law school only to be bartending/managing restaurants, etc. Literally, 7-9 years of school after high school and several hundred thousand dollars to be working jobs they could have gotten out of high school.

Desirable job markets are so flooded that only people with connections(like daddy got you your first law job as his firm) or that are so far ahead of the game they don't need them are actually getting the jobs they went to all tat school for.

It's who you know, not what you do/know these days.

Some good points in here, like gomeravbiz, I am a male in my forties and I can see much of what you are describing. I am 20 years older than my youngest sibling, so I see this behavior all the time. I see kids living with their parents until their late twenties and early thirties too. This probably has a lot to do with socializing and finding a mate also.

More importantly, you need to understand the power of working as a team when it comes to being involved in a serious relationship. There is more to life than hanging out with boys or girls for 3 months at a time. You may find that you need someone to count on, someone to lean on, someone to help you through the really tough times that are ahead.

Most importantly, to me, life is all about making connections with people.

Don't let life pass you by!

your mindset is 100

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