I don’t believe in “Soul mates”, but I do believe in love and long lasting relationships

People search and search for that perfect someone - their “soul mate”. Some people believe that there is that one special person out there somewhere, waiting for them. Someone that fits them. Someone they won’t have any disagreements with. Someone that will never, ever get on their nerves. They look for someone that is flawless. Someone that is made just for them. So - they wait, and wait, for that perfect someone.

I don’t believe in the "soul mate" philosophy. Here is what I believe -

There are people out there that fit you better than others. Two people that share similar likes and dislikes won’t have to work as hard as two people who have little in common. The truth is though: If you are waiting for that perfect someone, you will be waiting forever. No one is perfectly made for each of us. No one ever agrees on every topic, and nobody does things exactly the same way we personally would do them. And the secret is: that is okay.

There is a wonderful beauty about each of our flaws. It is what makes us human. It is what makes us lovable. We need to stop only looking for the surface beauty in each other, and start finding the beauty in each other’s flaws.

Every relationship requires work. I’m sure this metaphor has been used before, but relationships are like having a garden. To maintain a beautiful garden (or relationship) you cannot neglect it. If there are problems, you need to find a way to fix them. You cannot give attention to only parts of it. Every part needs attention. Because it is a living perpetual thing, you have to tend to it daily. Forgetting to tend to it will lead to parts wilting away. If areas wilt, they can be brought back to life with extra care and love.

Today, I hear of so many break-ups and divorces over petty reasons. Sometimes people end relationships for good reasons, but I think many people end their relationships because part of their garden has wilted. Instead of tending to the problem, it is easier to close the gate and hope for a new beautiful garden to be waiting for them somewhere else. They look for a garden that maintains itself, and requires little-to-no work. All of us gardeners out there know - no such thing exists.

Every beautiful garden requires attention and care. If maintained well, they will grow strong, beautiful, and fruitful, and will only get stronger and more beautiful with time.