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These "commitments" are sometimes uncomfortable, because there is no honest relationship of friendship, it is a formalism. When there is affinity, it is nice to meet to deliver or receive gifts. I think that's what makes the situation uncomfortable.

In that case, what we want is to isolate ourselves and avoid that contact that does not lead to anything important. Societies are full of those superficial acts of giving to be well, nothing more.

Really good point! That is what it is.

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I can totally relate. I think most of us can relate in this modern high tech world with information overload and endless possibilities. I also have days sometimes weeks or months where I want no obligations. I think it is my mind pushing back because of all the time I spend being "ON" and pushing back downtime. I can also relate to wanting to be a hermit. Actually that desire drove me to move out of the city and into a rural area, even some ways out of town. It helps a lot... but I hate to say the obligations don't go away... its different but they are still there to my neighbors, community, friends, myself... so I am working to redesign my mindset and my behaviors to adapt to what I feel is right for me. Hard work to go against the grain, but I know it is worth it!

Yes, I'm living pretty much a country life now myself. I'm in a neighborhood where every house has at least 1.25 acres, and also just bought in a neighborhood of minimal 5 acres, with many on more acreage than that. I think the more you go in that direction the more you're also surrounded by other people who also like to be to themselves more than most. That probably helps. But ultimately we hermit types have to learn to enjoy the obligations that create the community we really do want to support.

Congratulations on your new country home :) I don't know about you but being relatively new to the country I am still getting used to the slower pace of life where people are always open and ready to spend time talking, getting to know each other, catching up. I still feel like such a city person having all those "obligations" in the back of my mind all the time, moving fast, talking fast - in contrast to some of the old timer country folks :) Its such a learning experience. You are so right about the opportunity to choose to contribute to the community we want to support - good point! I am glad to be able to relate on the new lifestyle change. Looking forward to hearing more

Yes, I'm adapting to the slower pace still myself. Good observations on what that translates as. I don't know I'll ever get used to people stopping by though.

Or take invites to parties

I completely understand what you are talking about, but we need to see this from the other person's perspective, sometimes it is us doing the invitations, or trying to gift something to someone because we appreciate that person, and we wouldn't like to be rejected or to be seen as annoying, although we all know there is the possibility of it happening.

But that kind of boredom you are experiencing for having to go to that encounter is something that happens to everyone.

I hope the gift is worth the trip :)

Yes, these things are truly necessary and sometimes we’re on the other end wanting some sort of connection or support ourselves. Such is life.

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Haha haha!!! Such is life.

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