JIHAD | A Journey Towards Nirvana | Episode 1
This is all Zara Mohammad heard while she was in a deep sleep. She felt asleep while breast feeding her one year old boy and her nipples were still in the lips of her son as he was sound asleep with all the peace and silence resembling on his face " may be fantasizing the fairies or he might be with god or if he was enjoying the memories of his past life" , She wondered. What would have happened outside , why such ciaos? why people are shouting, May be there is some thief or may be some snake has intruded in neighborhood. She tried to sneak a view out of the torn curtain hanging at the only entrance of her house or should rather say a room. House to our modern world or standard consist of at least three four rooms but here her family had only single room in the outskirts of Kabul. If it is a thief then what a stupid person he would be to try and find something valuable in her neighborhood as most of the people around barely eat once or twice in a day. Her whole village consist of people belong to Hazara community. She gave a jerk to her head and stood up to see what is going on outside. Well, It must be a snake , She came out of her house and what she saw took her breath away for a moment....
Stand in line you mother fuckers were the words first hit her ears and then she heard the sound of "ziiiiiing" and then everything went black.....
Ma Ma Ma her son was pushing her as she tried to open her eyes... She was lying on the ground with sand in her mouth. She lifted her head up and heard female voices"" these sounds filled her heart with an unknown fear. She stood up in a flash and what she saw around was like as if she is standing in the river of blood. There were dead bodies of all mails in her neighborhood and before she could understand to what has happened there she saw her husband lying in between those dead bodies. She went numb, She could not say anything, she forgot about everything even her own son. What the hell have you done god what did we do wrong to you... ohh no it must be a dream, she slapped herself as wanted to get out of this dream but to her misery this was all real.
She went to her husbands body and sat there and suddenly she felt somebody patting her on the back and she found her son has crawled up to her and was looking at her to breast feed him. "Haaaaawww awwwwwwww" she screamed in distress and her cries merged in the voices of other women who were crying over the bodies of there family members.
Taliban attacked there village and they killed every male as they found them a threat while they marched towards Kabul to capture the city. After three days she heard rumors that a convoy is heading towards Pakistan. She gathered her clothes and started moving towards the direction of convoy. After walking for two days she reached the border city Al-Khayyam and she found trucks full of people who somehow wanted to go across the borders.She mixed in the crowd and found herself a seat in the truck. They were all stacked like animals, when she just was married and while going to her husband house she saw a truck which was stacked with goats "what different they are," she thought while adjusting her self to the jerks of the moving truck.
This story is under my Weekly Series: #EnlightningFriday
SUPERB, @honeychum. Absolutely superb start to a story. In a very crisp and fast paced manner, you have so beautifully given a heart wrenching and heart breaking and accurate description of innocent people caught in the crossfire of politics and terrorism. The build up of the action is superb from the eyes of the woman. The way you have written, @honeychum, it transports the reader into the woman and takes him on the heartbreaking journey. Awesome! I told you, you are a natural writer. A very real subject and a very effective writing.
Ruskin wrote in his "Flight of Pigeons", - "In a war or riot, irrespective of who wins, there is only one loser and that is a woman". It brought this to my mind while reading the story. Loved it. !!
Such a response is overwhelming. I am trying to improve my work. I hope it will reflect in this story. Responses like this keep up my spirit and boosts my energy. Thanks a lot buddy.
You are most welcome, @honeychum. Your writing is great. It is a pleasure to read your stories and episodes. They start perfectly and end at just the right moment. No drag ! A little work on , spellings and sentence structure always helps. But do not try to check your thought structure too much. Your thought structure is perfect and fresh !😊💕
follow me @razi95
This is quite a twisting story, the lifestyle you write about potrays an uneasy life. What a good story it is
I am happy that you liked this episode. I will try to keep my readers happy and excited. :)
This is the reality of women living under opressive regimes. Tbf everywhere you go, even in the western world women always come after men and its a tragedy that they are not treated as equals, when infact some of them have greater competencies than men do.
Yes that is the sad truth of our society.
wow, this post is at a total higher level than I am used to keep up the good work and thanks again for all your support!
Thanks buddy.
It's a nice piece of writing honeychum. Your language is expressive and to some extent, eloquent as well. The best part is that its something based on real life events. All I can suggest is that work on your punctuation, as it plays a great role in maintaining a smooth flow of the words. All in all, it's an excellent story. Good work and keep it up!
Thanks a lot buddy. I m trying to improve and if you feel it in my next episodes then please share it with me. :)
This post was very informative thank you for sharing
you have my upvote plus a resteem
@mannyfig1956
You are welcome Sir.
Good post bro :) so nice keep going :)
Thanks buddy
Following bro :) follow me please :)
follow me @razi95
very creamy
@honeychum This is the first ever story (first episode as I promised you that I will read the whole story) which I've read on #steemit. Trust me,this was the worth reading story. Superbly written and every scene is clearly written from the room where the Zara asleep to the journey Al-Khayyam.
The scene is killing me entirely when she just was married and while going to her husband house she saw a truck which was stacked with goats "what different they are,". Ahhh, tears are in my eyes.. :(
Thanks a lot @ikrahch It's an honor to be your first author on steemit. :) I only tried to make readers feel the pain of poor people. A person with kind heart can surely relate to this emotion.
Thanks to you too for sharing this amazing story with us. :)
You are welcome
:)