Would you like to trade stories about the dumbest argument you have ever had? I'll go first.

in life •  2 years ago

I have been involved in my fair share of stupid arguments.

How dare you say,
"Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery"?

Sometimes I even use arguing as a form of entertainment. As long as the other participant feels the same way, this can be a harmless way to kill a couple of hours. Unfortunately, I have not always made the wisest choices when it comes to this. There have been several occasions where a bored third party has had to endure an absolutely ridiculous argument. Usually, I end up getting into such lively arguments that the third party is entertained… but I still feel bad.

Philopshers have been debating this topic for years. Is it raining or is it sprinkling?

For example, I recently engaged in a two hour (no exaggeration) argument with a buddy over whether or not a baseball outfielder making a spectacular catch should be considered a truly impressive athletic feat. My position was that these plays are incredibly athletic and amazing. He contended that they really aren’t that difficult when compared to plays in soccer and American football. Although there was a lot of beer involved, at one point, I distinctly remember talking about the lightning fast reaction time and coordination needed to “read” a round ball off of a round bat. I even took out my phone to look up the physics behind this action and remember talking about breaking it down into milliseconds. The poor third guy just sat there laughing at us while we screamed at each other. I’d like to apologize to that innocent bystander… and now all of you for making you suffer through that story.

But this argument may not even make the top five stupid arguments in my life. But I do know what number one is…

Back in college (well one of the six colleges I attended) I lived with four other guys. Since I never went to class, I was able to be there to entertain each of them no matter what time of day. During weeknights when there wasn’t something going on at the bars, we would normally play the card game “Spades” until around midnight. Then most of the roommates would go to sleep. But for two of us, midnight seemed like the perfect time to start an elaborate board game. Like all rational people who have a class beginning in 8 hours, my roommate Joon and I looked at this as a great time to start playing… Axis and Allies.

If you are not familiar with the game Axis and Allies, it is a World War II strategy game. It is similar to the game Risk… except about 1000 times more complicated. The game is intended to be played over the course of several days or weeks. Naturally, Joon and I always attempted to start and finish the game in one night. To give you an idea of how complicated the game is, here are the playing pieces:

The set included 299 pieces, with 14 different military units each with its own set of rules.

Here’s the board:

I learned more about geography from playing this game than any history class I ever took. Please note, this is not 100% accurate. This is the 1942 version... and there would have been about one dozen empty beer bottles lining the board.

This is just one page of the 32 page rule book.

Yes I understand that you can't read this. That is the point. The rules were ridiculous!
Each unit had this many rules… or more”.

I think you get the point. It’s a really complicated game with a huge rulebook. Here’s the problem: we had the game and all of its pieces… but we didn’t have the rulebook. Therefore, we each had to agree on the rules we had memorized. Usually this was fine. However, there was one major exception.

Perhaps now would be a good time to address the apparently obvious and very simple solution. Some of you may be asking yourselves, "Why didn't these idiots just look up the rules online?!” This would have been a great idea... but there was one huge problem. These events took place in 1991, several years before Al Gore invented the internet* and made it useful for the average Joe.

Another possible solution would have been for us to simply buy a new game (complete with instructions). Unfortunately, it would have cost $50. For that amount, we could have purchased 1000 nickel beers… so there was no way that was happening. Consequently, Joon and I just had to do the best we could to remember the rules to the most complicated game either of us had ever seen.

One night at around 2:00 AM, our flawed method of determining the rules culminated in the most idiotic argument in which I have ever participated. You see, we had forgotten how the transport pieces had worked. I contended that you could not load and unload a transport on the same turn, my roommate thought you could. (If that made your eyes roll and say, “Who cares?” that’s OK. Those details aren’t that important… and my wife says the same thing when I tell this story.)

The argument began peacefully with each of us making our case. Unfortunately, neither of us could be swayed. It was like that white and gold (or blue and black) dress that everyone was talking about a couple of years ago. You simply could not change someone's mind about their perception of that damn dress.

I'm still convinced that the "optical illusion" was actually sorcery.

There simply was no way that either of us could convince the other to concede. There was no impartial and knowledgeable third party to ask. There were no resources to consult. There were only two stubborn college kids… and their voices.

The peaceful argument soon began to get louder and louder. We used crazy real life examples of how and why our explanations could be possible. We yelled about ocean currents, weight and buoyancy. At one point we even referenced a physics textbook (that we had to search for). This crazy college hijinks was exactly like a scene from the movie “Animal House". Oh wait no. Wrong movie. The movie I’m thinking of is “Revenge of the Nerds”.

The ladies are going to swoon when I tell them how I won this argument over a board game!

By some miracle, this nerd blowout never turned violent. Perhaps we were each afraid we would break our slide rules if it got physical. But man did we get loud. After all logical arguments fell short, we devolved into the enlightened realm of screaming. For thirty minutes, we took turns bellowing our explanation.

You can’t load and unload a transport on the same turn!

On several occasions, our roommates came into the living room to try and calm the argument. Each one of them failed and walked out of the room shaking his head and muttering. This continued until we heard a knock on the door. It was 4:30 AM. There were two possibilities. Each of which would involve a gun. Either a neighbor had arrived to mercifully put me and my fellow idiot out of our misery… or it was the police.

Luckily it was the latter. Yep. My roommate and I had the police called on us for arguing over a board game.

We explained the situation to the police officer. He shook his head and laughed at us. I believe he decided that simply having to live as ourselves was punishment enough. A ticket or a night in jail would be nothing compared to living an entire life as a dork who spends more energy arguing about board games than actually attending the classes for which he were paying thousands of dollars. I’m sure he thought, “These poor guys are never going to kiss a girl. That is punishment enough”. He warned us and left.

Missing class over these types of arguments was one thing… but going to jail? Even we had our limits. We cleared the board and went to bed. Thirty minutes later my alarm sounded for my first class of the day. I ignored it.

By the way, you cannot load and unload a transport on the same turn. I was right! I showed him. So I have that going for me...

Joon is now a heart surgeon. Ummmm maybe he won after all.

Now it is your turn. What is the dumbest argument that you have ever had?

Image Links 1, 2, 3,4,5, 6, 7, 8

*Al gore did not invent the internet. This was a joke.

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Hmm... My mother and sister often have arguments on how they would spend the lotto money once they hit the jackpot. Ridiculous since neither has ever won. My personal one is actually kind of explicit and may have to keep it to myself. You have such sweet posts @hanshotfirst - I'd hate to sully them with my potty mouth. LOL


I'm actually a big fan of Potty Mouth.. in the car to and from work. Can't swear around the kids at work. Can't swear around the kids at home. I'm screwed for a few more years lol.


My father used to implement the swear jar...and once in a while we'd all toss in a $20 and go to town. It was all in good fun but it makes me wonder if we were sailors or pirates in a previous life. LOL


Why not both? Rrrrrrrr

Dumbest argument. Former coworker used to like to text and drive. Even worse, he'd be driving, suddenly start laughing, loud. I was then presented the latest meme or cat video from facebook. A few times I made the mistake of asking this guy to kindly put the phone down and drive.

You're swerving all over the road.
"No I'm not swerving all over the road!"
You just ran a red light.
"NO! I did not just run a red light!"
You nearly hit that car.
"What car?!?!"
You're going to get someone killed.
"Do YOU want to drive!"

I wasn't really arguing, I just got yelled at, a lot. Fun times.


Zoinks! That's terrible. Glad you made it out alive. I was had to drive with a boss I could not stand. He drove with his knees while drinking a coffee I one hand and his phone in the other. But only briefly. I think you have that one beat hands down.


That guy took his strange sense of ignorance quite seriously. I found out he later tried the same behavior with a cop.

You failed to signal back there.
"No! I signaled!"
Is that alcohol on your breathe?
"No! I don't drink!"
Step out please.

He got out of jail the next day and told me all about how the cop was harassing him. He showed me his tickets and how he blew over the limit. He insisted he had not been drinking and thought he could fight the tickets. He even went so far as saying they had no right to impound his vehicle.

I guess the moral of story. I think the "dumb arguments" often come equipped with a certain type of person. Not always. But I do know a good candidate for a science experiment.


That guy sounds nuts! Maybe I should change the title to "who is the craziest person you have ever met?"... although that would mean I would have to admit to being the crazy one in my story.


No, your title is fine. It was a good read and I thank you for sharing. Life happens, people argue. I'm usually the annoyingly calm person in an argument. This behavior angers people further, no fault of mine though. Any time I read about these sort of arguments that escalate into chaos... I'm always left thinking about the same person. I hope you never have to meet this person I speak of. He's an okay guy, somewhat of a friend... but don't bother arguing with him. You'll lose by default, in his mind.


"You'll lose by default, in his mind."
I hear that. That is one of the most frustrating for sure. Can't reason with that... or even have any fun in a friendly argument.

Bravo! Excellent post my friend @hanshotfirst, congratulations on another great material


I upvoted your comment based on the sheer power of your positivity. You love everything! I can't argue against that.

I have a "type" of argument that haunted my ex-marriage. The examples were endless, but here is the last occurrence which fortunately happened with a witness.

A we were becoming ex-spouses, of course we tried counselling. The counsellor, a woman who knew my ex from previous professional work, asked us if we thought the housework was evenly divided. I said I thought it would be more equitable if I actually could do more of the serious cleaning that my disability prevented.

My ex literally stood up and screamed, "EQUITABLE!? How can you say it's equitable when I have to do all the vacuuming!?"

She clearly heard one word and ignored the context. I tried to explain the difference, as I had so many times. I pointed out that I did not believe it was equitable, that I certainly did not want to say it was, that I don't remember saying it was and that if it turned out that I did say it was, I apologized for misspeaking. It was no use.

The counsellor was on my side. She heard me correctly, tried to tell my ex what she heard, but got nowhere. However, the woman had a recorder running. So she stopped the recorder, backed it up, played it back. Obviously I was right. I felt vindicated, not only for that time but for all time. Until my ex-wife turned to me and said, "That may be what you said, but I know what you meant!"

I started leaving her the next morning.


First of all, I'm sorry your marriage did not work out. I hope you are doing well.
But... man you got evidence on tape! Do you know how jealous people are of you for that? That is the dream scenario. You knew you were right and had proof! Even in silly arguments that would be the best. And the "That may be what you said, but I know what you meant!" gave you a pretty clear signal of what would lie ahead. Its similar to nonameslefttouse's situation where the guy he knows was arguing with made up facts in his head.


After that I had to go back in my head and reassure myself of all the other ones:
Me: I'll mow the yard in the afternoon.
She: I thought you were going to mow the lawn this morning
Me: I filled up the gas in the truck
She: Why didn't you get gas while you were out?

On and on. My shrink calls it gaslighting, but sometimes I think she was just unattached to reality.

As a result, I keep my phone on record all the time, I have a script that uploads it to the cloud by the 5 minutes and overwrites the files from the month before


can't use logic to combat fantasy lol

But who will build the roads?

As a construction worker in heavy construction, the answer was "Me."

And of course, you should put all of your points into research and get long range bombers early in the game.


Yes! Someone else played! For sure. If you are playing as America, you MUST get the bombers. Excellent strategy and thanks for letting me know that I wasn't the only one who played this! LOL

Risk is NOT allowed in our house because of said arguments. It is not a fun game. And those dresses? Scam. Horrible waste of time scam - news must have been slow.
In general, I think we argue because we are afraid to not be right which is why we see children do it. It's in us. I like to discuss when the other person/s is listening and there is a genuine desire to understand but arguing? I don't like it at all. It means someone wants to dominate with their idea.


I hear you on Risk! It's a miracle that it hasn't been banned lol
You are right on the domination idea. When its two friends, it's kind of like mental wrestling. No real harm. If not... lots of harm

This stupid woman, a customer at my former workplace which sells luxury items, complained about items that were for peoples dogs. she said it was wrong to spend luxuries for dogs because of starving kids who are suffering and it's selfish. Now, being a dog lover, I didn't give a fuck about being a polite employee and we started arguing.

I told her that she was buying a luxury just the same, dogs have the capacity to suffer same as people (cognition of three year-olds to be exact, "LADY") So why not skip on her luxury purchase to donate it to starving kids? she got mad and said:

"I'm a mother of three!" in that self-righteous way like she's done us all a favour by squeezing her own genetic material out of her vagina.

so I asked her why not adopt some starving kids from disadvantaged-wherever instead of having her own, and that she was selfish for having bioligical children. She got enraged at losing an argument and said people should just shoot their dogs. Then she asked what my name was like I'd be scared she'd bitch to my boss. I told her my name and gave her my boss's business card which further enraged her and she stomped out of the store.

Fuck that's one of my happiest memories. butif that wasn't at work I'd probably have punched her when she suggested shooting dogs. Being at work, I'd be charged for sure though lol

That's why cowardly people like to vent their bullshit to people who work customer service and not randoms on the street.

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Hrmm, I think the dumbest arguments I have are with myself. It's probably best if I don't try to explain it here, because then I'll start arguing with myself over the details.


LoL. Very deep. But if you need a forum for that kind of argument, I'll be here!

Props for Axis & Allies. I loved that game! Would trounce all my friends to the point they wouldn't play. ...I suppose I am an armchair general geek.

A triumphant one. :)


Armchair geek general... that is one hell of a title! Mad Respect!

I remember a drunken conversation outside a frat house (not mine). The subject was whether paddle balls were made in Taiwan or Japan (that was back when Japan made and exported a lot of consumer goods). And a third person, drunker than the others, insisted vociferously that paddle balls were made in Israel. It lasted for over an hour.


And this is exactly why I posted this. Even everybody's steemit hero has at least one silly argument in his past! One time my roommate beat up a frat house. Not the people... the actual house. It was an interesting night lol!


Damn I wanted to be so cool and post here where paddle balls are really made. But I can't find it. Curses! The first person to post a source of where they are made gets 5 steem!

There are a lot of dumb arguments I have been a part of. Some are really embarrassing.
You and I both agree that the blue vs gold dress was some form of sorcery. lol. And that video was priceless!!!


That video has made me laugh every time I watch it! Thanks for noticing.

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