Me, my "chemical imbalance" and marijuana... My journey (original content )

in #life4 years ago (edited)

I was born into a family with a long history of bipolar/"manic", anxiety, depression and understood at a young age that they were considered hereditary imbalances... and since I was a bit odd and had my "own way about me" my family doctor was always trying to get me on antidepressants, I can't thank my mom enough for allowing me to find my own path and never forced me to take them. I dropped out of school at the beginning of grade 9 as the pressure/confusion of my families divorce was far too distracting for someone who was already so disinterested in the school/work/retire/die cycle many seemed to fear or feel stuck in ... all I wanted was time, time to think and observe. To see if I could find a path that I could be happy on as myself without needing the crutch of the pharmaceutical antidepressants that the rest of my father's side of the family was addicted to for the majority of their lives, sometimes with ill effects on personalities etc.

Even at 11 y/o I knew I was making a choice with the meds that meant I had to take responsibility for my own emotional balance and that it would be a long road, then again when I dropped out of school at 13/14 I knew in the long run it meant I was choosing "the longer road" if having a successful "normal life" ever became important to me. As I'm getting older now (36 as I write this) for sure at times I find myself envious of my friends with their families, buying homes to raise their children in. But I don't let it get to me, I appreciate the time I get to spend with them as well as my family even if I haven't spent as much time as I would like with them (I'm working on that) I appreciate that I'm on a different path and appreciate the unique person I am because of it.

I have always made just enough money to keep a roof over my head and food in my animals tummies (If an emergency comes up I'm usually screwed) which has allowed me the time to explore my thoughts/who I am as a person and observe the evolving world around me... to look for where I might be helpful, maybe even find opportunities to create some positive change in my life and the world around me. Which is why I have been a Bitcoin and cryptocurrency advocate for the last 3 years, since I first saw it's potential to create positive change by being a secondary, borderless, decentralized global money system lol then slowly realized it's even greater potential for projects such as steemit and many others that will be made possible by the blockchain technology. I'm truly honored to participate and watch it grow.

Marijuana has always helped with my anxiety/depression/chemical imbalance or whichever label people like to use. but when my imbalance was really bad smoking it didn't do much at all lol which would depress me even more. But it did/does help give me patience which has helped me be able to find/learn better tools to deal with myself so I didn't end up in my "worst case scenario" as often. Not only that but pot has helped keep me social, has kept me housed/fed when I was in no state of mind to hold down a job. I have never craved pot if I don't have it for a few days as I crave cigarettes after only a few hours. In fact cigarettes are what I consider to be my one and only "crutch" or addiction in life and I will be done with them very soon.

The one thing that I've changed with pot that has been utterly life changing for me and my "imbalance"... I eat about .5 of a gram of RAW cannabis every 2-3 days (kush's seem to be best for me) It's been about 3 years now, after about 6 months my mom said she couldn't believe the difference in me. My out look is so much better/clearer, my anxiety is all but gone so the tension that continuously flared up old injuries and caused me to get migraines on a regular basis is all but gone as well, I don't even grind my teeth in my sleep anymore. Eating raw cannabis does not get you high and you can even buy empty gel caps at health food stores, grind up the pot and fill the pills if you don't want to chew the marijuana and pick it out of your teeth. I recommend anyone who suffers from depression or anxiety (or both as in my case) to give it a fair shot for at least 2 months. It may just change your life.

Looking back I wish I would have known about eating raw cannabis as a teen (who knows I might have went back to school and taken a different path) lol I also wish I had bought BTC when it was brand new... but there is no point in crying over spilled milk. I'm proud of who I am, and I don't think I would be the person I am if my life didn't happen the way it has up till now.

I look forward to the opportunities a head.

Cheers internet, Thanks to anyone who took the time to read my thoughts.

#marijuana #reflection #depression #anxiety #cannabis #journey #thankful #loveyourself #lovelife

Merkules - "beef stew" (great track)


What a powerful self testimony. Definitely takes a lot of balls opening up like that. I don't partake in marijuana festivities but I do respect those who wish to. It seems to help a lot of people.

Plus marijuana is very high in fiber. I once ate brownies that were not strained of leaf material and wooooowwiiiiieee lol

hehe I made a batch of butter one time that had about 1500.$ worth of bud/bottoms of the bag , bud buster crystal lol and even some honey oil... it was as powerful as magic mushrooms, it was the first time I ever hallucinated from herb, was magical stuff indeed ;)

Smoking Cannabis helped me a lot in fighting depressions too. But I also know the feeling when too much smoking puts you down. I think it is because a lot of stuff is grown indoor -meaning conditions like no natural light, no communication with other plants, stressing light rythm to make it grow faster etc. so the plant can not develop all her healing powers. When I have the chance I'll get some raw organic weed for eating it daily, too. Thank you for this nice article. :)

It's All About the Terpenes

Using the wrong cannabis, for your particular issues, can have a significantly negative impact on your life. Growing and handling methods can also alter or lower effectivness of terpene profiles.

I use Canna-Tsu now, moved up from Harlequin last year. The particular cut I have is a neutral terpene profile. Using her causes an increase in memory, clarity of thought, pain reduction, motor control and more. There are no tiring, fogging, high or stone effects. Life is crisp, clear and enjoyable. :D

Did Someone Say Indoor?

I assure you that the growing style of indoor growers is responsible for the poor quality, not the cannabis or indoor aspect. My indoor crushes every outdoor in quality and smell and flavor, not to mention potency. Taken a long time to get there.

See the trichomes on the bud in this photo?

That's DRY cannabis. Do you see how full the trichomes still are? The majority of growers only get photos like this from living cannabis.

I'm working on making TheCleanGame a brand. Perhaps you'll be able to sample some of it one day and give me your own impression of it. I look forward to the opportunity. :D
Keep it Clean!

TheCleanGame Blog, Neatly Categorized

Indeed, when I grew indoor I used the full line from Advantage and got massive yields, very potent and with their flush/rinse used properly you would barely cough from huge puffs nor would there be any 'burning' sensation when I chewed nugs like bubble gum... as there is when a plant hasn't been flushed properly.

99% of what I smoke/eat is indoor, most outdoor from the Island I live on is great but rarely is the quality of the good indoor. As @thecleangame stated finding the strains that work for you is huge. Just like finding the perfectly lit places gets you better outdoor so will replacing your bulbs after a couple cycles , as well as proper watering and foliage sprays.

If organic is important to you Cheers to ya, but not really a concern of mine... lol heck I'm waiting for lab grown beef from memphis meats to be in stores


I'm glad you have had the opportunity to grow cannabis, sounds like you did a great job. :) You may be interested in the preview to my book I posted to my steemit blog. (check the link in my signature in the previous post)

Everyone should experience truly clean cannabis. Simply amazing. :D

Growing was very therapeutic for me, just not worth it for me the way our laws are here in Canada right now. As a teen my mom thought it would be a good idea for me to tell my doctor that I was smoking pot when I was 12 years old and ever since it is stuck to my medical history and they will not give me a medical license because of it (for now)

Just like food grown in your own garden tastes a little better than food you buy, it seemed even more so for herb ;)

Cheers man, I'll follow you for sure

Up vote since you made paragraphs, but why bullet points? Much better than a wall of text. Now get a photo of yourself in it.

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