Social Hangover
I'm very much an introvert and spend most of my days alone in my ivory tower, but I do enjoy the occasional human contact, very selectively. I always prepare myself mentally and physically for social gatherings, doing self care and avoiding any unnecessary human contact the previous day, and the day(s) after I need to recharge my batteries the same way. Humans are cool and all, but I have a pretty low tolerance even for the best of them.
I have a theory about having too much fun and then feeling very down after. I think when you are having a lot of fun for an extended period of time, more than a couple hours for me, the brain uses up all the possible dopamine, endorphin, oxytocin and serotonin it has, and has no feel-goods left for a while. I think my happy chemical reserves are low to begin with, or I end up using all of it without knowing how to spare some for the next day.
I feel seriously hungover after yesterday without having a hangover from alcohol, I only had two glasses of wine during the whole evening. I feel tired even after 8 hours of sleep, I am hangry and dehydrated, very irritable and moody as hell. Do not call me today, I won't be picking up. Of course this is all worth it because I had a lot of fun and I always know this is going to happen so I can prepare accordingly.
Does anyone else get the social hangover after having a lot of fun?
Ps. I just took this picture above, and it's a great contrast for yesterday's happy happy sunny day in Tampere with my fellow Steemians.
Nope not at all. I was on vacation with my best friends for 7 days in the same house, not a problem :D
My problem is the other way around. I can be at work for 8 hours talking with customers and collegees the entire shift then come home and relax for 2 hours and then be bored out of my mind from being alone xD
Oh lord, you are the complete opposite to me! can't relate, at all 😂
Hahaha I know! :D
I'm like you, or perhaps sometimes more like @islanderman, a 50-50 person. It depends. Not so much about having fun or not, but having to talk with people. Especially if they are completely new acquaintances, being with people takes more energy than gives. And if it's a small group of people and I know that I have to sometimes open my mouth and say something, even though I don't have anything to say or if I don't care to say anything, but I know I have to, just so that people don't think that I'm impolite or grumpy or something. Knowing that, that I have to also be prepared to small talk, drains my energy. But then again if someone else is doing the talking, then I can just listen as long as I want to, but still feel free to say something if I feel like it.
When I meet people who I know better, that takes my energy too, but also somehow recharges my batteries. But of course at certain point I always need to be alone in silence, in my own precious bubble.
Then again I am also an extrovert. I'm an introvert in an extroverts body. I have no problem talking to slightly larger crowds, following some sort of "a script" and entertain them. I love to entertain people and make them laugh. I am actually compulsive about that making people laugh part. I'm like Chandler in Friends. I feel uncomfortable if I can't make people laugh at least once. And that's terrible! Making people laugh or entertaining them, being a clown is super fun, but that takes a lot of my energy too.
And then there's dancing that is completely the opposite than what I just wrote. If I don't need to talk, I am fine dancing with anyone, anytime, anywhere. And that usually always only gives me more energy.
Weird, ha.
So yes. Usually I do get a social hangover. I stop talking or don't talk that much, my brain doesn't function that well and I forget words. Just normal Finnish words. And all the other languages too. I physically feel really exhausted and tired and can't smile that much. And then there's all the sitting. My body just can't handle that. So what it must look like is that I am angry at someone and that I'm trying not to fart. :D
This is why we have Taraz on meetups, let him do the talking and fill in whenever you feel like having something to say :D
Thank goodness this meet wasn't early in the morning. I'm a morning person but then again there's a limit. If someone is talking lots and lots before my brain has woken up, I might not answer at all. And I might not listen either. Or I might answer without listening what was talked about. With one word sentences.
New people, speaking English and having a long day of your own comfort zone (home) is so draining, even if having a lot of fun. I did notice that you are a very good listener, and I don't think you looked grumpy at all when just silently paying attention to what other people, Taraz mainly, we're saying. I think it's a great skill to have and it's something I am trying to learn.
Speaking to a bigger crowd is my nightmare and I avoid it at all cost, but I like to talk a lot with a smaller group and like you said too, entertain.
I can relate to you on the dancing part, it's a completely different world! Every time I go to a bar, I really really want to go dancing and I can do it all night long and not feel so drained as I would if I just have to sit and talk. Really weird.
Or my brain had checked out. :D
Excellent. I've worked on that.
Mine too. Was. For a long time. But then I forced myself to do that over and over again because I knew that I would also love it after I've gotten used to it. But sometimes when I'm in front of a crowd, I suddenly notice for some reason the the extrovert part of me bails out and the introvert in me is left all alone and when it's time to talk, I stutter, some words come out of my mouth in random order and I have no idea what I'm talking about. I hear the words that I've said with few seconds delay and I start to think that people must think that I'm on drugs and start to laugh because of that. Hilarious, sad and very confusing at the same time.
When there's no energy for talking it's time for tequila and dancing.
Another factor apart from introversion/extroversion that may play some part in this type thing is neuroticism/emotional stability. People high on the neuroticism scale often find themselves in short supply of the happy chemicals. Neuroticism is relatively high prevalence of negative emotions. Neuroticism can be a survival advantage in some ways as it means greater sensitivity to threats. For example, neurotic people tend to pay closer attention to their own health and that of those close to them.
I don’t consider myself neurotic but I’m definitely unstable and quite aware and sensitive to everything around me. I’m always on the lookout! Though it’s definitely not all bad, especially for security reasons like you mentioned, and for example photography where you rely on finding interesting subjects and light to capture.
Neuroticism is a purely technical term from the five factor model of personality. The model uses groups the following five factors extroversion, conscientiousness, agreeableness, neuroticism, openness (to ideas, experiences etc.).
Nice photo. If I'm around a lot of people at a social gathering, I always have some down time afterwards. I tend to feel overwhelmed. Even if I've enjoyed myself, I still like to be on my own to recharge.
Overwhelmed is a good word for this, that is exactly how I feel.
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I'm a total 50-50 when it comes to introvert-extrovert. I need to charge a part of my battery on my own so I can go out and charge the other part of the battery among people! It would have been really nice meeting all of you but this time it wasn't possible... After 10 days in the military (practically living ON TOP OF a big bunch of dudes) my inner introvert screams for help and sitting alone in the sofa a grey and quiet Sunday is the best thing that can happen XD
We'll do another meet up and let's make sure it's time and place that works out for you too! 10 days in the military and sleeping on top of bunch of dudes sounds both fantastic and horrible 😝 Have a good time recharging in your almost private island!
Very interesting. I love the way you have formulated your theory. :)
What you say makes perfect sense, although I never experience that severe symptoms after particularly intensive or prolonged exposure to the company of others myself as I am more of an extrovert than an introvert. What I did experience starting from the time we were having coffee at Finlayson's was tiredness to some degree. My thoughts started wandering and I experienced some difficulty gathering them. I don't know if anyone noticed that but that's how I felt. I was on the verge of choosing to go home right after the coffee.
Despite being more extroverted than introverted, I have pretty good tolerance for spending time alone. Photography is a good hobby in the sense that it is best engaged in alone so as to minimize all distractions. An evening in good company does not wear me out. I usually feel completely normal the following day.
I noticed but it was already pretty late then so it's to be expected, normal people feel tired in the evening. What I find is that once I'm out of the house socialising and in good company, I don't want the evening to stop, I have all the energy in the world and I guess I don't know how to give up and go home. It happens to me often when I'm out at a bar, I am ready to be out there until the wee hours of the morning, even though it would probably be a lot more reasonable to go home earlier in order not to burn myself out.
I think it's a valuable skill to be able to spend time alone, and vice versa, to be able to tolerate people :D
I noticed you participated very actively in the conversations, which makes sense in light of your description of yourself as a part-time extrovert. Taraz on the other hand socialized and generated ideas like a machine (heh) without demonstrating any degree of fatigue. He did have one advantage over the rest of use, which was the fact that he was able to use his native tongue the whole time, though.
I very much like to talk when I'm in a small group of people whose company I
enjoy. It's easy to see that Taraz is used to talking a lot to all kinds of different people, and he knows a lot of what he talks about, it's not just some fluff like some people who like to hear their own voice all the time. It was good that we had to talk English, not a lot of chances to practise that on the daily basis, but it certainly takes a little more out of you when it doesn't come so naturally.
Have no ideia about that post-fun feeling 🙂. Normally feel even better the next day if I had a lot of fun the day before. But then again, although I cherish a lot my me time, I think I'm more of a extrovert myself.
Interesting interesting, maybe it's an introvert thing where people drain you from energy vs. an extrovert getting energy from people.
That's exactly what it is about. Becoming tired from socializing is the hallmark of social introversion. Introversion generally is about sensitivity to external stimuli be it social, sensory, intellectual or whatever. Extremely introverted people have low tolerance for external stimulation and wear out quickly from it. In contrast, extremely extroverted people live in a constant state of boredom and require constant and large doses of strong external stimulation to "feel alive".
Interesting!
Hum... that can actually be a possible explanation!
Exactly. Same here. Being with people sucks my energy out while being alone in nature gives it back to me. Introvert thing for sure ;) And nothing to be ashamed of.
I'm not ashamed at all, I know myself and I know that it's complete normal to be an introvert, and completely abnormal to be an extrovert 😝😝
Yeah :) I just know some fellow introverts who sometimes tend to feel bad about it. To me, it is a kind of asset actually. Being able to live comfortably with oneself is a gift for sure. Just too bad introversion often comes with OCD :D (my case too).
It has its upsides and downsides, but I think it might be easier to be introverted because being alone is kind of the default setting.
Funny, I wouldn't thought you were the introvert kind! I must be something strange then, because although I like social life, I feel perfectly confortable taking vacations all alone and spending a day in the nature by myself! :)
Actually, it is not strange :) It´s not like you are either introvert or extrovert. It´s more about the proportion between these two sides and some people are somehwere in the middle, having "symptoms" of both :) Even though I am mostly introvert, I can still enjoy time with my friends.
I kinda took 2 years off facebook and didn’t post. I accidentally changed my profile banner and it got posted with 300 likes 😭 and tons of comments, I got exhausted and no wonder I left lol
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You are... human..? I mean you look it, but I have to ask. You speak like a Venusian. ;)
I've been call a reptilian and now a Venusian, sometimes a human, so who the hell knows!