Quieting Voices - Sneak Peek - A Haiku & Some Bloggin

Knocking The Rust Off

a fate worse than Death
the Eternal wanderer
just Lost in the woods

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Met with an old friend today - Filmed something super special just for you guys. That's the day in a nut shell. You can stop reading now.

But what about the title? How does have anything to do with the above picture and the haiku........ Well if you got a few minutes - lemme rap with ya.

No actual rapping to follow.

My first film was SHADOWS - It's something near and dear to my heart. And I didn't even direct it. Because I was a pussy - A smart pussy but a pussy all the same. Plain and simple. Really that's the god honest truth. I just didn't want to fuck up the opportunity. So I took something that I created - A wad of cash and found a way to make it happen. A highschool friend introduced me to the director. I liked his work - Trusted him and off we went on the magical journey that is making a film.

After months of effort we had a finished product. In my eyes, it was perfect. Part of me is glad I didn't attempt directing it because deep down I know at the time It would have been disastrous. But there will always be this other little part. This little nagging voice. Whispering through the halls of my subconscious.

You didn't even try.... What if?

That stayed with me. Scratching just below the surface.

Next up is something called Neighbors. I can't say much other than that I aside from writing, I produced, co-directed and edited the film. It remains unreleased. It's not bad. Infact I think it's quite good. But for various reasons it can't be shared publically. Not just yet at least.

A still from the film.

Did you catch that - CO-DIRECTED. Because I was still a pussy and I thought I needed someone to lean on. This is part of the reason it's probably never going to see the the light of day. It was time for me to say.......

" fuck that pussy shit. Be a man. You can do it ".

A month after filming Neighbors I finally nutted up and directed my first film solo - Curiosity Killed The Cat. I'm proud of everything about it. Regardless of its flaws. There are quite a few - But I stood on my own two feet and did it. It felt good.

My confidence was growing. Again one month later I shot Bills Birthday Bash. Not only did I want to direct it but I also wanted to work the camera. I tailored the script and shotlist so it would have a certain aesthetic which warranted it being filmed in a simple locked off style where the focused was on framing & composition. I had it playing on a loop in my head for weeks....... But again Pussy E Reared his ugly little head. I brought out the same camera operator & cinematographer who shot Curiosity Because I was intimidated.

The film turned out the way I knew it would and again it's something I look back on with a sense of pride.

That was June of 2015....... 3 years ago. 3 fucking years!!! Jesus. Over that time my only focus has been writing and learning how to operate a camera. I wanted to no longer be intimidated by them. No longer scared of being bad. I wanted to make a film that was as much of me as it could be. So I brought my camera everywhere. I mean everywhere. I filmed everything and took as many photos as I could. Yes - I annoyed a shit load of people. But it was worth it. I'm ready.

As I mentioned in my recent reintroduction - I'm planning to shoot & direct a short film at the end of June and I'll be beginning a feature sometime mid summer. I'll be doing just about everything. And I can't fucking wait. But......

There has been this new voice. Chattering away for the last few weeks. It was getting louder and louder.

You're going to fuck it up

It was starting to affect what little sleep my insomnia allowed me to get. I needed to shut it up. This morning I picked up the phone and called My buddy Jeff who acted in Curiosity Killed The Cat. All I had to say was that I wanted to shoot something quick and he showed up within 20 minutes. We rolled a fatty and talked for about half an hour as we excitedly mused.

Soon we knew exactly what to film.

Two hours and thirty minutes later I was sitting at my computer looking at footage on a timeline in Adobe Premiere. I took a deep breath and hit the space bar. The playhead started tracking across the screen. As I looked at the footage ...... The Voice stopped. Quiet. Peace.

I'll be cutting the footage together over the next few days - Might have to do a pickup or two - But rest assured I'll be sharing the results with you all soon. So what did we film? I've already told / showed you too much. Dispite having been awake for over 30 hours today was a good day. I'm going into my next two projects feeling confident and excited. Just wanted to share.

That's all for now
Thank you for pushing me
Much love and appreciation
E.

NOTE: - I'm writing this on my phone - forgive the lack of images - might add some more tomorrow. Let me know if you're cool with walls of text.

S - Your password is "Yellow Brick Road" - love you. Talk soon. Sorry this got up so late.

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