When You Feel Like A Fraud, Do These Instead (Tried & Tested by Yours Truly)

In my last post, after pouring my emotions and clearing the air with clarity, I knew deep down that it's unhealthy for me to keep feeling the way I did- as a fraud.

However, the post isn't about me per se. Almost every creative genius I met has this syndrome.

(Caveat: You don't have to be a genius to feel this way)

 
The better you are in what you do, apparently, doesn't equate to better confidence.

At least that's what debunks the notion that "the better you get, the more confident you'll become."

And like I mentioned, almost every great creative person I knew feels like a fraud. Yet there aren't any documented figures to justify this case.

These great minds somehow couldn't register their success internally, leading them to question the existence of their success. At the back of their heads, they often attribute their achievements to luck rather than ability or talent.

Though there's one fact that I can't seem to shake off my head, as researchers Clance and Imes postulate, "many people who feel like phonies are brought up in high-pressure environment, that makes a huge deal on accomplishments."

 
While some parents might alternate praises and criticism to their kids, I've never had it easy with mine, being the eldest amongst my siblings especially.

Everything I did doesn't seem enough.

But is this reason concrete enough to justify the aftermath of the Imposter phenomenon?

Since research don't really conclude the reason behind it, and this condition has very much to do with one's upbringing, personality, mindset and the predominance of "good things don't just happen to me, it's impossible."

In my last post, I talked about how I feel like a fraud at times. Not because I was admitting I'm a creative genius, in fact I'm far from that.

✰

It was one of those times where I self-reflect after observing how lives revolve around mine, as well as how the Greats get to where they are.

I noticed that the people who are good at their jobs, don't think they are. Whereas the opposites, those who suck at their jobs, think themselves as godly.

Interestingly, there's a more accurate name to describe this phenomenon and it's coined as the "Dunning Kruger Effect."

While the Greats feel like their fakes, here we have the Dunning Kruger Effect on another extreme spectrum.

Watch researcher David Dunning's video on TED Talks for clarity on his theory:

 
Pretty much the same case, but a little different no?

Like any psychological syndromes, you won't have a 'cure' to all. You can only do so much of mitigation and the rest is up to you to control.

Heck, even depression is real and not everyone believes that you can't control it. The fact is you really can't, because our thoughts, and behaviors to an extent, are governed by our hormones (which is produced by the lymph nodes). Imagine if the lymph nodes are distorted? No further explanations needed.

So instead of asking, "What's the cure to beating imposter syndrome?"

Maybe it is time for us to ask-

"How do you control your thoughts so they don't go wild and you won't suddenly retract from normally functioning in this chaotic world?"

 

Here are some ways to making your days a little (if not a lot) better:

Talk to your someone who can help you, either a psychologist or even a mentor who knows you best

Instead of comparing with others, learn to chart your personal growth and keep track of it. For me, I have a learning and goals checklists that I keep for my own perusal.

We humans always forget. While it's normal to be forgetful, forgetting the smallest milestones might take its toll on you in the long run. You'll only record HUGE achievement as success and think the smallest ones don't matter.

Recalling an early post I did on Steemit, documenting small wins is the way of life. Heck, even Tim Ferris does it.

But if you figure that the feelings are overwhelming and might throw you over the edge, talking to an individual therapist might be the "best way for you to break the cycle," Imes recommends.

Acknowledge your area of expertise

By giving back to the underprivileged, you'll gain so much more. That's why Steemit is a great platform for you to practice that. You give back by sharing. Sharing the things you do best can help you discover how far you've come and how much knowledge you have to impart to others.

Write down things that you do best

It takes time to recognize your best assets but Imes encourages you to make arealistic assessment of your abilities by writing down the things you're truly good at, and even your weaknesses. Accept that you can't be good in everything and work on areas that need improvement. Like my good old mentor used to say, outsource tasks that you're bad at. Because if you're only 25% capable of task A and would require 10 years to be better at that, you might as well use that 10 years to hone your 75% area of genius. Just saying.

Come on. Nobody is perfect. Life's fair…

"Stop focusing on perfection," Clance urges. She also stresses on taking time off to appreciate the fruits of your hard work. "Learn to celebrate," she continues.

✰

Remember the days when you're feeling shitty and feel like a fraud, take a step back and check these points.

You've got this.

 

Image credit: All public domain images are taken from Pexels, unless stated otherwise.
 
 

These days I mostly write on Steemit.
I still have my portfolio and personal sites- virtuallydebbie.com and debbieang.com.
But these sites will eventually redirect you to my Steemit blog.
Well, what can I say. If it’s good stuff, you can’t get enough of it :)
Follow me and I'll take you through my unpredictable journey- filled with wilderness, curiosity and randomness.
PS: Check out #steemitbloggers and click here to join the other bloggers