Sometimes, I Feel Like A Fraud

Wow, you must still be traveling?

I wish I can travel like you.

Where did you get all the money to travel?
 

These are few of the many questions I get as a digital nomad (DN). At times, it's fun being a DN because frankly, thanks to the DNs from all over the world, they made nomadic lifestyle seem fun.

Join us before you lose out #fomo

Truth is, I sometimes feel like a fraud. A close friend of mine, as I met her at the cafe last night, shared her concerns with me.

A guy apparently looks up to her on Instagram and wanted to be like her because of her lifestyle (she's a DN as well).

I sometimes feel like a fraud, she said.

And I couldn't agree better. Not because she's one, but because I'm in her shoes.

Now let's have a look at how the internet describes 'Digital Nomads'…

Digital nomads are people who are location independent and deploy technology to perform their job. Digital nomads work remotely, which is now economically possible due to cheap internet access, smartphones and tech apps like Skype, or Slack to keep in contact with clients and employers. ➖Investopedia
 

Then I am not entirely 100% nomadic. The reason is simple. I am still based in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. My homeland.

I may travel as often, but I'm not always on the move. I don't hop from one country to another.

That would mean, unlike the other nomads, my travel itinerary doesn't look half as adventurous like a real nomad's.

I felt like I was giving DN a bad name, even though I am a micro business owner, or a lifestyle entrepreneur (however you term it)

I have an existing business, which is flexible to take me around the world. But I didn't choose to travel from one country to another- leaving home.

The fact is that I'm still very much grounded on my home soils.

I also fondly recalled one of my favorite podcast of Tim Ferris'. It was one of the episodes with Debbie Millman. She was an inspiration to me (not because her name is also Debbie but) because I can resonate my feelings with hers.

As brilliant and smart as she is, with years of agency experience and her big brands' portfolio around her belt, not to mention her popular podcast Design Matters to boot, Debbie sometimes feels like an imposter too.
 
Say what? Really Debbie?
 
But here's what she has to say,

The one common denominator [that great thinkers and creators] have shared with me over the years is that they all feel like they have to get up every day and do it again. They all feel like they may very well be discovered as fakes, they very well may never, ever achieve what they had hoped.

 

Even Sheryl Sandberg, the COO of Facebook, is no exception.

There are still days when I wake up feeling like a fraud.

 

But why?

 
Apparently, there's a scientific explanation behind the workings of imposter syndrome.

A research explains that up to 70% of high-achieving individuals, particularly women, have suffered from Impostor Syndrome at one point in their lives. It seems that this syndrome tends to 'attack' women's self-esteem, damning their confidence and intellectual deception, despite how successful they are.

These people, who felt like they're fakes, chronically experience mashed emotions of perceived failure, anxiety and the disastrous cocktail of self-doubt, which undoubtedly correlates with self-sabotage and shaming.

According to Valerie Young, a career counselor, these are the same people who set 'exceedingly high expectations and unrealistic definition of competence for themselves.'

 

Still isn't satisfied with Debbie's answer, I seek out for more answers and reached out to my mentor/buddy/partner, who once quoted in verbatim,

If people will pay for your service/ product/ work, then you're not a fraud. You are being paid for what you offered.
 

So I kept my lips sealed and stopped another question on track, knowing deep down, he's probably right.

So now the question stands - Was it my personal choice of choosing home or merely the circumstances (i.e. family, loved ones) that held me back here?

Only time will tell.
 

In my next post, I will share my experience in overcoming the imposter syndrome. I'm not proposing a 'cure' for it but I'll just try to make your days better and easier on how to cope with these feelings.

If you have gone through the imposter syndrome yourself, let me know in the comments below so I can also quote you in my next post.
 

Image credit: All public domain images are taken from Stencil, unless stated otherwise.
 
 

These days I mostly write on Steemit.
I still have my portfolio and personal sites- virtuallydebbie.com and debbieang.com.
But these sites will eventually redirect you to my Steemit blog.
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